AIBU to be annoyed with my mum for buying a chocolate advent calendar for my 22 month old?

[BettyBi0]

We've always aimed for low sugar, healthy diet yadayada with our toddler and my Mum knows this.

Anyway, she totally hyped up sending my DD (22 months) an advent calendar which finally arrived yesterday. We opened one door and it had a chocolate inside. DD thought this was the best thing ever but then refused to eat her dinner later shouting CHOCOLATE! Want it!!! Ugh are we going to have this every day of advent?

I'm a bit narked at my mum for sending it tbh as my DD is still little and chocolate is definitely not an everyday thing in our house. I know it's spread over the next 21 days but there is about 200g of Chocolate in that bloom into calendar. I'd never dream of giving her a 200g slab of choc - albeit spread out over 3 weeks.

AIBU it would you think it's fine for a not even 2 year old to expect chocolate every day?

sugar, I remember you posting about your DD on the meningitis thread.

YANBU. Sugar triggers cravings for more sugar, and I don't think its a great idea to be having it every day in such a concentrated form.

We had picture advent calendars until we were maybe 7/8 and I don't remember even wanting a chocolate one or realising it was A Thing until the last few years. It was then really exciting when we finally were allowed one, although I'm ashamed to admit that some inter-sibling chocolate theft occurred.

toddlers don't get advent calendars - they want to eat it all at once. The concept of waiting each day is way beyond their years. Open it all up and take out the choc if you don't want the stress. Then they can play with the doors and see there is no more choc.

sugar21 so sorry for your loss luv, that is tragic, i hope you are ok, sometimes i dont think people understand how lucky they are and if these little things are the biggest things they have to worry about in life well!!!!!! There are people out there starving, homeless, people that have died, people that have lost family, the list is endless and yet people wine about the tiniest of things, when in fact they should think themselves extremley lucky.

Thank you
Its very hard at this time of year.

one of my earliest memories is stealthily demolishing a barbie advent calendar (that was supposed to be for someone else i think).. because if you take the choccy out through the back, mummy isn't going to notice, right?

Never did me any harm. also Tiggy is a genius!

When I was a child we only got a picture in our advent calendars! I feel so old....

I think yabu. Advent calendar chocolates are tiny

Ds1 couldn't have chocolate at that age due to milk allergy and soya intolerance. Restricting him from many "treats" and festive foods was no joy. Fortunately now he can in moderation eat foods with these ingredients, and it's a pleasure that he and his 2 year old DB can participate in normal childhood pleasures.

A small chocolate after their dinner for 24 days out of 365 is not going to spiral them into obesity and disordered eating. They have a healthy diet, and that includes a sensible, moderate quality of foods that are for pleasure rather than nutritional benefit.

Banning foods and getting upset over them is counter productive.

Now I would be annoyed if someone gave my 2 year old spaghetti bolognaise, because the tomato would cause him eczema and digestive problems. That is problematic to his health.

Maybe a bit BU but I understand where your coming from as DW's parents have lots of 'advice' on foods and avoiding sweet stuff and not ruining their dinner while giving them a bowl of giant chocolate buttons .

What Pictish said X 1000.

Idiot friends and rellies eh? Lovely. What a really lovely attitude to people trying to do something nice.

Where the hell do you get an advent calendar with 200g of chocolate in? tries not to act jealous or desperate

Despite knowing we do our own advent calendar, ILs still buy them one every year. I let it go because there's only 40g of chocolate in them in total.

MilkTwoSugars - I think your idea of a wooden advent calendar is a good one - I was wondering if the OP could ask her mum to get it for her dd.

She could 'sell' the idea to her mum as being something special that will come out year after year, and be a lovely family tradition, but, because it is a pretty expensive thing, she wouldn't expect her mum to fill it each year - she'd do that herself (and could then put in little non-edible gifts like a bit of lego, a tiny toy, or a healthy treat).

This way her mum will feel she's being included in the whole Christmas tradition, but the OP will get to decide what goes in the calendar.

My mum restricted food like that when I was little. When i hit 13 and had some freedom I went crazy and ended up overweight. I now have horrible food issues that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I am a healthy weight and size now but everyday is a struggle.
You are causing issues for your DD. She needs to know that a little bit of chocolate or sweets is OK. All you are doing is creating issues and you will come to regret it in a few years. Wait until she starts going to parties in a few years, what are you going to do? Send her with a bag of carrots?!

If you want to keep things balanced and avoid what happened in your past then you need to be a bit more relaxed about the advent calendar.
Eating a miniscule choc every day during December will bot ruin your child's future.

You're mothers a bitch, kill her. Burn the Advent Calendar and buy a pineapple.

(You could always open the bloody thing after dinner you know?)

Mine all had their's first thing in the morning before breakfast and that was it for the day

Same here, a bit of excitement and tiny morsel of chocolate first thing and then that's it for the day, move on to meals and snacks as normal. Don't make a massive deal of it, don't use the chocolate as a reward for eating dinner, just a nice little bit of the run up to Christmas.

Being a kid is all about sweets and chocolate isn't it?!

No!

I haven't given my baby one. She's a year old on the 22nd. I might do it next year but I agree it's not necessary. However yabu getting this bothered about it. Just shove it in the bin! Also could you not tell it had chocolate in before you let your child have it?

LivvyLongPants slight derail but have you seen Spatone liquid iron supplements? Available in Boots etc but not on prescription as far as I know. Fantastic, bio-available way to get iron in your child (I have a child with severe autism so know the difficulties).

Will go into juice, milkshakes etc. It's a clear liquid so looks like water. Does taste a little metallic somehow. Mixes best IMO with apple juice, if your DS will drink that.

Derail over!

Yadnbu.

But everyone on here will say unless you give sweets as a child they will get an eating disorder. And that its only tiny. For a baby its the equlivent of eating a large chocolate bar daily. These treats should not be daily. In my workplace people seen to treat themselves bi hourly. No wonder 70% of uk adults are obese or overweight.

"My mum restricted food like that when I was little. When i hit 13 and had some freedom I went crazy and ended up overweight. I now have horrible food issues that I wouldn't wish upon anyone."

Me too, purplestar - except that I have never managed to either solve my dreadful relationship with food or lose the weight, and am now morbidly obese. I don't think I ever learned how to manage my own intake of food, and when I left home to start my nurse training, and had an income and control over my diet, it all went completely to pieces.

I was always a bit plump (and strangely, despite being so controlling about food, my mother refused to let me go on a diet, when I asked her, in my mid teens), but it got out of control when I left home, and I struggle to this day with making healthy choices about food.

Obviously a 22-month-old is not going to be able to make sensible decisions about her own diet, and managing how much she eats, but I do think it is important that, even from the early days, we teach our children that moderation is the key. I think that, if something like chocolate becomes a special treat for special occasions, this can make it seem too special or important - and if you are denied something most of the time, there is a real temptation to binge on it when you do get the chance - whereas if chocolate is a normal but minor part of your diet, it doesn't assume a huge importance, and hopefully becomes something you can take or leave.

I thought a lot about the way I 'treat' myself - I was brought up with sweets as an occasional 'treat', and this has made food become my main way of treating myself - and that's a big part of my problem with food. I have decided two things - firstly, there are lots of lovely ways I can have a treat, without food (a bubble bath, some special shower gel, a new nail polish, a new book, watching a video - all sorts of stuff), but secondly that food treats can be OK - I just need to think of more foods as treats. For example, I love fresh pineapple, so I treat myself to the little pots of it - the treat is the fact I don't have to peel and cut up a whole pineapple. And sometimes I will go to Lidl and buy one of their cooked, chilled hot-smoked salmon fillets, some nice cherry tomatoes and a crusty roll, and have that as a special lunch - apart from the bread, it is all totally healthy and good for me, but is still a huge treat.

sugar21 so sorry for your loss luv, that is tragic, i hope you are ok, sometimes i dont think people understand how lucky they are and if these little things are the biggest things they have to worry about in life well!!!!!! There are people out there starving, homeless, people that have died, people that have lost family, the list is endless and yet people wine about the tiniest of things, when in fact they should think themselves extremley lucky.

I so agree. Shazza, Sugar, and others for whom the festive season must be particularly difficult to bear, I am thinking of you and wishing you well.

I am also thinking of the total horrors my current foster children have gone through, the abuse and neglect that is almost unbearable to read of, let alone how they endured it. And for my own disabled children for whom every day is a struggle, a struggle they will have to endure every day of their lives, as they try to survive in a world that is impossible for them to understand. Then I think of the little piece of chocolate they eat each day in December, and think it's really no big deal

Or you could combine both ideas and replace the chocolate with iron supplements. An Iron Advent Calendar.

Problem solved!