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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to this wedding?

186 replies

possum18 · 02/12/2015 10:10

Dp will be best man, I have only met the couple once. Dp will presumably sit at the top table, and I will be placed on a random table - I don't know anyone else going to this wedding. Normally I would suck it up and sit and smile but I will have given birth to twins a few weeks before and I just don't know how the whole thing will pan out. Dp has a room at the hotel and says I can use it for changing, napping and feeding whenever I want, but it's a long day. Dp will want to drink which is fine, but I won't have any help. I have asked if it would be acceptable for me to miss the wedding ceremony and breakfast and just attend the reception but I got a firm no. WIBU to sack it off?

OP posts:
WhattodoSue · 02/12/2015 22:20

Just a congratulations to Mr and Mrs Possum - I hope that all goes well with the arrival of baby possums. Flowers

I read this thread on the way home, and it was so nice to a) see all the good supportive advice, and b) to see the positive response from Mr Possum to the wisdom of MNs. And it was so great to have a happy ending to the post!

I do think Fuckitfay has a good point - twins do often come early, and so it would be more relaxing if he wasn't a very long way away for the stag.

PoppyAutumnScarlettRuby · 02/12/2015 23:44

Good luck with the birth of your twins.

I'm so pleased that all has worked out well in the end, even if it did take for Dh to read the thread to get there. Perhaps you could send it to the bride and groom who appear to have lost all sense of reason; who in their right mind believes that their wedding would take priority over the impending birth of twins or the recuperation of their mother? Flowers

CallingAllEmergencyKittens · 03/12/2015 00:01

Let babies poo on big white dress.

Original poster
possum18 · 03/12/2015 00:11

Reading this in bed to catch up with all of your lovely responses once again.. Thank you all so much Thanks mum is booked in for sleepovers both nights, DH has my blessing to do as he wishes wedding weekend. Stag do is about 15 minutes from home so I'm sure he won't be missing the birth, he has promised not to get sloppy drunk, just the usual annoying merry drunk with loads of snoring when he stumbles in at 2am! Best friend is booked in for a sleepover that night so I am well and truly looked after! BrewCake

OP posts:
TracyBarlow · 03/12/2015 00:20

Ah, glad there's a happy ending.

Mr P is going to bring his newborn twins home from hospital and the penny will drop about why the wedding is a complete no go.

And in a couple of years the newlyweds may have their own baby and they're going to be MORTIFIED about trying to force you to go fingers crossed they have twins too

VenusRising · 03/12/2015 00:31

Yes!

I also was wondering why your DP and the father to these babies was going.
I would think his job was with you, holding one baby and changing her or him while you fed the other, and feeding you nutritious dinners and glasses of water.

I suppose when the friends have babies of their own, they'll be so embarrassed about thinking and insisting you could come with two tiny babies after giving birth, they'll just curl up and die every time they think about it, which is perfect as they both need kicks up the holes as self administered kicks are the best kind.

PegsPigs · 03/12/2015 01:01

coconut's comment re needing a break. Yes yes yes! The 'break' you want is either a) sleep b) food c) a shower. That's it for a good few months post birth never mind with twins!!! Who'd want to go on their own to a wedding of people you hardly know??

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/12/2015 01:46

I remember DH going out for "a drink" with his cousin when I was about 39w pg with DS1. It turned into Several drinks and several hours later when he finally rolled home, to be met with my best gorgon look - what if I'd gone into labour while he was on the lash? Oh that's ok, he'd thought of that, his uncle could have driven me to the hospital - oh good! I supposed that his uncle would have wanted to hold my hand through the labour as well, would he? NO! HE fucking wouldn't, and I wouldn't have wanted him to! DH did go a a shade pale as he realised what I was saying and how much of a monumental cock up he'd nearly made of things. He didn't get drunk again until after DS1 was born.

Glad your DH has read the thread, hopefully he now completely understands your POV and will tell his friends that you at least won't be going. Since your mum has already agreed to come and stay, he can go if he wants to and feels that it's reasonable now, as he won't be leaving his wife completely in the lurch, alone with their new twins!

bonbonbonbon · 03/12/2015 02:05

I have twins. Trust me you won't want to go anywhere except a bed to sleep. Make sure you have some help lined up for when your dp is away.

Pengweng · 03/12/2015 09:19

I have twins and a few weeks after i had them i was still recovering from an emergency c section and losing 2 litres of blood. Added in to the mix low birth weight babies that needed waking and feeding every 2 hours including overnight and i was plain exhausted and needed my husband to help me a lot. You have no idea how the birth is going to go (and i hope it goes really well for you with no issues!!).

I would say NO and if they queried why tell them to fuck the fuck off and then fuck themselves. Sorry but newborn twins trumps anyone elses hurt feelings!!

BTW you will be fine and amazing and twins are awesome but those first few months i can not remember other than feeding, sleeping and crying them and me

SpartaCarcass · 03/12/2015 13:23

Good result. Hope everything goes well :D

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