I absolutely hate working and believe it to be the worst thing about being an adult. AIBU?

[IntoTheSunset]

I'd like to allay any concerns that anyone might have about my work ethic firstly. No one has ever complained about it in any job I've had. I realise that people have to work. I just find it depressing that I will likely have to continue working into my sixties and beyond. I'm 42 and would gladly retire tomorrow if I could. I also don't like how a person's place in society is defined by their job ahead of anything else. Do any MNers feel similarly?

The only time I've felt like I was 'squandering my life' was when I was working my arse off FT doing a job I hated for a crappy salary!

Being a SAHM I'm not only saving us money, but I'm doing a much better job of raising our DC and running our home than any paid employee would do. Plus, people like me who volunteer their time to help out at the school, who listen to the DC read, who escort them off-site, who turn up and cheer them on from the sidelines when they play matches - we DO make a difference and I know that it makes a big difference to my kids. So do I feel like I'm squandering my life now? Absolutely not. I feel like I'm doing the most valuable job I could be doing.

Fortunately, I've never left my DC with anyone or somewhere where they were poorly cared for. Phew .

I'm sure you haven't, SheGot. Neither have I. But there is an awful lot of substandard childcare and schooling about, as you well know.

I wouldn't want to give up work completely but would love to work 3 or even 4 days a weeks rather than full-time if I could afford it. Until I had the kids and moved to a larger house, working full-time didn't bother me but I must admit that nowadays sometimes I find is stressful juggling everything. The fact that I spend nearly 2 hours a day travelling to and from work doesn't help either!

YABU

I absolutely love my job. I have three kids at home and this is the only peace and quiet I get!

Just kidding, I'm forging a career for myself that I love.

I have a new baby (4 months old) and have been back working for the last 10 weeks. There is no part of me that wishes to be at home not working, it's just not for me.

roundabout I don't have dds. I do want my children to be happy, work reasonable hours and have a fulfilling life outside work. I want them to have a choice. Not have that choice decided for them just because they are boys and are expected to be breadwinners. They may otoh love work so much that they spend all day and night doing it. I'd be sad for them though if they did.

Nope. Never liked working. One reason I want my DC to get a career they love rather than a job they have to do to survive.

Fortunately DH and I are of similar mind in not yearning for more than we have. We live in a cheap part of UK and didn't stretch ourselves with mortgage. I'm 57 now and retired. I don't miss work one bit.
When DH decided to retire at 58 DC were still in primary school. He had a stressful job that he loathed and was never happy or well. His retirement has meant that DC have had a parent at home most of their lives and he has never regretted it.

I feel like this most days...

"Being a SAHM ......... I'm doing a much better job of raising our DC and running our home than any paid employee would do"
How can anyone know that!

Regeneration I agree I also want my ds to be happy. So many of his classmates will be steered into banking/law/accountancy but as he grows I can just see he's going to need to do something he's passionate about- and that's not it. Difficult thing is, money may not be important to them now but who knows how they'll feel in 15 years time?

You think a stranger would raise your kids better than you?

Dd used to have a CM who was loads better than me. Very enthusiastic at playing games with small kids, baking, painting, etc. I used to force myself to do it but never had the same flair for it all. Dd used to tell me the CM was more fun.

:)
It must just be where I live then...loads of nurseries with very very high turnover of bored 17-18 years olds staff.
I knew one CM I would have been very happy to leave my DC with but she bloody retired!
Most CMs I know seem to just trail the poor kids round the village with them and take them to the free groups provided by the church and sure start centre!
Wouldn't really have been an option for me anyway with ds1s health issues as a baby.
Ds2 would have been ok though, but by the time he was 15 months old I was home educating ds1! (Did it for a year)
I think the bottom line is....
Is everyone in the family happy?
Is everyone able to express themselves freely?
Do we all get time to do things we want not just things we have to do?
I know I got into a real rut after my dad died. I was trying to care for my mother, my grieving children, sort his estate (I was sole executor), help my siblings...my own grief sort of got lost in it all.
My whole life seemed to be have to
So I made a few changes...stopped my voluntary work, cut down on how often I saw mum (I was going 3/4 times a day at one point), spent time with the kids, if I want to go to bed at 7pm now I do! :)
I am trying to get healthier after a scare last month (got the all clear today but was offered a hysterectomy which I declined!) so am concentrating on walking and eating better.
One drawback of Caring for others is forgetting about oneself.

Mephistopheles, not surprising in that way but money aside, I'm disappointed that anyone cares. It would be a very odd world if we were all super ambitious.

"Yeah, I agree, OP. My job is not in any sense dirty, degrading or in an area where people are routinely disrespected or attacked and it's not poorly paid.

However, I find it a real drag. It's not stimulating and is pretty pointless, really."

This is me. I know I'm lucky compared to people working in coal mines or sweat shops, but I don't see how I can go on with boring jobs. I'm 38 and I've probably got another 30 years to go! I do a job I don't like so I can have a life, but most of my waking life is spent at work so what's the point???

Haven't RTFT, but I don't think it's the working that's the shitty bit. It's the lack of control. Being employed often means a lack of say on when and where you are, and answering to others.

I work full time employed doing a job I enjoy but would still rather do a lot less of. That's mainly because I'm chained to a desk and really dislike work politics. It's awful when you know there are so many other things you can be doing but you've still got eight hours before you can go home.

I also work self employed in an evening and in comparison I LOVE that. The more effort I put in, the more I earn and the more satisfying it is. As an employee, if there's no more money in the kitty I can work as hard as I like and my salary will remain the same.

I think the ultimate goal is part time self-employment - a better life balance.

"It's the lack of control. Being employed often means a lack of say on when and where you are, and answering to others."

Definitely, and a lot of work places are badly managed and disorganised which creates huge amounts of stress for staff.

If I could work from home more, ideally all the time, I'd find it a lot less annoying. A pp mentioned hating being away from home, so do I. I also find my two work at home days much more productive. I also don't have to waste any mental energy on pointless chat and don't have to struggle to hear on the phone, or concentrate etc, with all the office noise. Cutting commute and getting some use from a lunch hour effectively puts three hours back in the day. But I have looked and even 80% Hime working is hard to find.

this thread has inspired me to look again though.

I'm quite happy just existing as I am at the moment, I am alone and disabled, so I am financially alright due to being on the highest rates for both ESA and PIP.

If I were struggling more with money, I don't think I'd find it as comfortable, but managing several health problems is work in itself.

I do miss working, and if there was a suitable part time job, adapted to allow me to access it, then I would jump at the offer. Being disabled and housebound the majority of the time is lonely, even though I generally prefer to be alone, there's a limit to that for me at some point.

It's pretty hard to find a job that would suit being unable to walk short distances or stand in one spot for any length of time, unable to lift or bend, unable to write, unable to drive or use machinery and fluctuating health meaning sick days are going to far exceed the limit for most companies.

Before I got ill, I worked all sorts of job, often two to three at a time. I did cleaning, kitchen support staff, shop jobs, customer service, warehouse admin, receptionist, cash office for a large chain store, legal secretary. At one point I even dared a McDonalds job (and found it to be the only job I've ever not been able to do), whilst cleaning early mornings in the same shop I worked part time in.

I really can't see how I would manage with any of those jobs now, and that is frustrating. There are times I don't see much point to my life, I'm not achieving anything, except raising my children, and even that has been reduced to weekends due to my health.

I think its an utter scourge on the modern Western world that we expect to be happy/fulfilled/productive all of the time or most of the time. It fucks with our mental health for sure. We just have such enormous expectations and when they aren't fulfilled we get depressed.

Trundle along and make the most of the big highs (and lows) in life. Don't expect pure pleasure and satisfaction all of the time or even most of the time - that is not the human condition.

Might change my mn posting name to Eeyore.

Oh fan
Are there any experts who could work your options through with? Some sort of self employed computer based work?
Or course that is assuming work is what you want to do. It sounds like managing your conditions is demanding.

I don't hate my job. Sometimes it's stressful and demoralising, but it can also be incredibly fulfilling and is as funny as it can be sad. It makes a difference to society and that in turn has a significant impact on how I self identify. My job is a part of me. Not the only part.

All that said, if I could afford to give it up, I would. I can think of many ways I could give back to society which would give me a better life balance; but they generally don't pay as well.

I think part of the reason - for women particularly - is that we're just so damn knackered. We have a long hours working culture and when you've got to do homework, packed lunches, laundry, organise childcare etc on top... THat's the reason I'm looking forward to retirement. I just want to slow down and spend some time with the people I love, the ones I'm allegedly doing this for.

Eeyore, I've found I get on much better at work after accepting I don't like it and stopping ideas of a dream job. Realism always makes me feel better. I know I need to cheer myself up and get through the day, it's a "knowledge is power" thing.

Pounding, I don't have kids but I find offices, indeed people, overwhelming and tiring but there's no jobs where you can work alone, it seems. I often feel I don't have enough to give to my loved ones, emotionally, because all my people ness gets used up in the working day...I'm an introvert which doesn't help.