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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I absolutely hate working and believe it to be the worst thing about being an adult. AIBU?

389 replies

IntoTheSunset · 01/12/2015 17:16

I'd like to allay any concerns that anyone might have about my work ethic firstly. No one has ever complained about it in any job I've had. I realise that people have to work. I just find it depressing that I will likely have to continue working into my sixties and beyond. I'm 42 and would gladly retire tomorrow if I could. I also don't like how a person's place in society is defined by their job ahead of anything else. Do any MNers feel similarly?

OP posts:
bettyberry · 01/12/2015 17:53

If I could work and not have to deal with the school run, kids, puberty etc then yes. I loved working in my teens-twenties. I hate it now because I can never just start work happy. There has always been some AM disaster/tantrum/stress that means the day inevitably ends up pretty shit.

I'm looking forward to my 40s and working. I wont have to do the school run or make food for a screaming child. DC will do that themselves. I can get up, shower and go!

bettyberry · 01/12/2015 17:54

oh and coffee! having time to actually stop at a coffee shop to refill my travel mug and not rely on instant stuff. Proper coffee to drink hot!

Justaboy · 01/12/2015 17:55

Retire!, can't be doing with that, I'd be bored out of my head, sides I'd have to take up Golf or some other dead boring activity;-(

Seriously I'm 64 now and the only thing that's annoying me is the speed that the years go past and there's still so much more to do, more tech more fun even more interest and the rest of it:-)

That said I wonder if the OP is in a less than just so job. Course I'm the mad exception to most rules but perhaps this is what she, i presume, might have to look at?. Sure there are jobs that I'm glad that some poor other sod has to do but you can see thus far that there are some on here who do enjoy what they do and are doing.

What I have sadly noticed is there are are relatives I've had who have retired and have just passed away not that long a few years later seems they lost a will to live!.

Lottapianos · 01/12/2015 17:57

I get where you're coming from OP. I would love to pack my job in. Its very demoralising and exhausting (NHS). On the other hand, I do feel very lucky - I get fairly well paid for working reasonable hours, with mostly reasonable people and its not dirty or dangerous work. And obviously it means I can support myself and have a decent standard of living. But I would give it up tomorrow if I could!

Some people are ambitious and very fulfilled by work, others are more fulfilled by other parts of their lives.

ImportantSpanielBusiness · 01/12/2015 17:59

I absolutely despise working, and am bored of people trying to crack the code to find out what my 'dream' job would be- dream job is an oxymoron to me. A job is just a way to get money for my actual life, i hate every second and find it a massive waste of my time. Need to start doing the lottery to give a a shard of hope that I do t have to do this shit till I'm dead.

LadyMaryofDownt0n · 01/12/2015 18:00

Agree I hate work so much that I came home crying & asked DH could I quit.... He said no. He's right we can't afford it, not yet anyway.

12 hr shifts with a two hr commute & I see my kids for about an hr a day sometimes not at all.

I await the lotto win!

chrome100 · 01/12/2015 18:00

I hate having to be there every day at a certain time regardless of what I have to do. But I think I do need the structure, without it I'd be a bit aimless.

My ideal would be to work part time, maybe 4 days a week, starting at 9 and finishing at 4. One day...

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 01/12/2015 18:02

Hell yes!

I would gladly pack work in if I could afford too and spend time doing what I don't currently have time too because I have to work.

GreenPotato · 01/12/2015 18:04

No. I bloody love work! I have to confess I think it's one of the best parts of life and if I could work more, and do a bit less childcare and housework, without feeling guilty about it, I would. But I am lucky to be in the right job for me. I can understand if you hate your job it must be grim.

I do wish there were about 20 more hours in the day so I could do all the work I want to, and the childcare and housework, and hobbies, and going out, and relaxing etc., and get enough sleep as well.

SecretLocation · 01/12/2015 18:04

I can't say that I love my job, but I think I would be very bored if I didn't work and do feel lucky to be in paid work at all, despite the crap days.

LuciaInFurs · 01/12/2015 18:07

I completely agree! I talk openly at work about how much I want to retire. I'm 24. . .

TudorTrace · 01/12/2015 18:09

I agree with you OP, I really enjoy my job, and it's what I'd want to be doing even if I had broader options in the workplace.. But I would rather be a SAHM, to be frank. I really enjoy walking round town/take great joy in pottering around at my weekly shop. Perhaps though, I'd find being at home too tedious eventually. I have enjoyed being off sick though.

I'm only 18 Blush

SheGotAllDaMoves · 01/12/2015 18:11

I love my work.

It's a lot more fun than many of my hobbiesGrin and it pays me loads of doshGrinGrin.

What's not to like?

TudorTrace · 01/12/2015 18:11

SheGot what do you do for a living? Envy

juneau · 01/12/2015 18:12

I never really enjoyed working either OP. I had lots of jobs over the years - everything from holiday rep to deli clerk, secretary to sub-editor - and I got bored of them all sooner or later. I hated working with customers, I hated having a boss telling me what to do, I hated having to be at someone else's beck and call, and I hated commuting. I'm a SAHM now and I bloody love it. There is no social status in it (in fact most people - especially men with working wives), look down their noses at me and assume I don't have a worthwhile thought in my airy head, but I couldn't give a toss and I feel extremely fortunate to have been able to make this choice. I'd far rather be shopping, cooking, gardening and spending time with my kids than slogging away in an office any day of the week.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 01/12/2015 18:13

Completely agree OP. I was a SAHM for a long time, now self employed and work at home. I am baffled by people who say they will be bored when they retire, do they have no inner life at all? Do they dread each weekend, hate seeing their friends and family, have no hobbies or passions or places they've dreamed of visiting? What are these amazing jobs that are better than not working?

Mermaid36 · 01/12/2015 18:13

I don't dislike my job, and my colleagues are nice and funny and we have a laugh but I can think of a million more interesting things to be doing than sitting in an office working....

Katarzyna79 · 01/12/2015 18:13

Im sahm ive only ever done part time work until i married and had kids, no professional job as such. I found it a burden but liked the independence it gave me.

Maybe if i did something varied id enjoy it i get bored really easily but i guess if i needed the money id do it thats why lots folks do it. But once you have children you realise family life is more important and work does get in the way, the entire daysave few hrs before bed are consumed by it for others more.

My bro is in his dream job he only sees his family in Wknd he lives across the uk throughout the week, for all the great money and enjoyment he still says not worth sacrificing time spent with family, you cant get those years back.

If ihad to work id rather be self employed on my own orfamily business i dont like being treated like nothing but a work horse by bosses.

But i also dont like the idea of being made redundant after kids are in full time school. Or getting old and sitting in achair all day snoozing, and having evrything done for me, this is what my father and mil do, id rather be dead. i think having my own business would keep my mind and body active and happy. Plus no one can say hey ur too old to work you have to retire. i just hope i dont have a stroke or severe dementia otherwise those dreams will be dashed.

mrsjanedoe · 01/12/2015 18:14

I think you're kind of defined first by your job, because that is where you spend most of your time . An air hostess, a school teacher, a vet or a wedding planer have by definition very different lives.

OP, you are not BU at all, but it sounds like you are in the completely wrong job. What would you do if you could retire now? Any way you could earn some money from it?

Eminybob · 01/12/2015 18:15

I'm with you op. I have recently gone back to work part time after maternity leave and I absolutely hate it. I don't enjoy my job anyway, plus feel sick at leaving my PFB 3 days a week.
I would give up work in a flash if we could survive off DP's wage.

miaowmix · 01/12/2015 18:15

Hate to be Pollyanna but I really love my job too, creative, interesting, superb company to work for in swank offices and lovely colleagues. And lots of freebies.
Sorry.
(I think I just made myself throw up)

FormerlyKnownasFK · 01/12/2015 18:16

I like working - I have bad days and it can be very stressful, but generally I like my current job and the people I work with are great. I have a 20 minute commute and work 4 days so the balance seems about right to me. I never intend to work over 30 hours a week again if I can possibly help it. I'm expecting to spend another 5-7 years doing my current job unless circumstances change (until DC finishes school), then I'm considering changing track completely and maybe even moving overseas. But I'll still need and want to work.

The thing I hate is having to combine work, motherhood and doing all the domestic stuff. It's hard to go to work after an hour of faffing and chivvying to get out of the door and then spending hours in the evening dealing with pre - teen angst and homework. I am very happy when my 3 day weekend starts Grin

Panadbois · 01/12/2015 18:17

I mostly love my job. But, 9-3 would suit me better, or at least, 9-5 Mon - Thurs.

Full time sucks

BrianButterfield · 01/12/2015 18:18

I must admit I've always assumed most people tolerated, rather than employed work.

I like the hour-to-hour part of my work (classroom teaching) but find the system, the politics, the bigger picture stuff so completely depressing and demoralising it's almost unbearable. I hate marking although obviously I do it (have even done exam marking as extra money, but I don't know anyone who likes it), lesson planning is fine, working with most colleagues is pretty great.

As for the grind of getting up, dressed, commuting, coming home, getting dinner...I really hate it!

yorkshapudding · 01/12/2015 18:18

A few years ago I would have emphatically disagreed and said "no, I love my job! I'd keep doing it if I won the Lottery". Now, I feel torn. I still love certain aspects of my job but the combination of ever- increasing demand and ever-dwindling resources (NHS) has made it exhausting, demoralising and stressful.