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AIBU?

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Original poster

stalked by school!

385 replies

Brioche201 · 29/11/2015 22:10

Last Friday DD was off sick. I start work at 9.30 so got her up and dressed and dropped her round at my parents.When I got to work there was an email on my work email address (which I have NOT given out to them as a contact address), an emaul on my personal email, messages on my mobile and home number and DH's mobile! All before 9.15 wanting to enquire as to DDs whereabouts!! Now DD gets a lift to school every day with another child from the same village (we are 4 miles away from school) so pretty obvious that she hasn't befallen an accident on the way.Infact the secretary would have asked the other child if DD was coming
I am thinking of complaining to the school, as I think it was pretty rude to try to contact me by so many different means especially my work email wanting to know her 'whereabouts'.WTF !!

OP posts:
Original poster
Brioche201 · 29/11/2015 22:49

I did inform them when I got to work about 9.20.But it wasn't top of my ' to do' list when I had to make an extra round trip to my parents house before work.
The other thing that narks me is a letter, nay an invoice, from them for voluntary contributions for a school trip DD didn't go on!!

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 29/11/2015 22:49

Brioche. Thats where you're wrong about secondary schools not contacting parents . My dd's school used to contact me every time with out fail. If I'd not contacted them by say 9.15.

GruntledOne · 29/11/2015 22:50

Yes I have contacted them on work email, it doesn't mean I want to hear from them on it.

But wouldn't you want to if your child had gone missing?

The reality is that it probably came up automatically when they started typing your name in. They would have no reason to believe that you didn't want it to be used, and their priority would be to make contact with you, not to go and look up the files to check whether that was on your original contact list. Indeed, many parents fail to update schools when contact details change so they might reasonably have thought that was what had happened. They would have no reason to believe you didn't want them to use the email address you had supplied unless you told them.

Missdee2014 · 29/11/2015 22:51

You are being completely unreasonable. I'd bet you would be the one to shout the loudest if your dc went missing and the school didn't contact you. Fool.

MidniteScribbler · 29/11/2015 22:51

I know they are coming from a place of good intentions, but really a bit of common sense is needed!

Common sense would be letting the school know BEFORE they actually needed to try and contact you.

Pipbin · 29/11/2015 22:51

but really a bit of common sense is needed!

Common sense? Are you kidding me?

Let's look at it this way. Child is missing, no contact from the parents. Try to contact both parents and they are both uncontactable. I think that trying to contact the parents by any means possible shows more common sense that going to the friend's class, interrupting her to ask where your DD is and then taking her word for it.

JumpandScore · 29/11/2015 22:52

You're right Op everything about the school is terrible, you should move dd. All of these things are easily resolved if you talk to people.

Hatethis22 · 29/11/2015 22:52

What time is morning registration? That's the time they need to know by.

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 29/11/2015 22:52

It should be a priority to let them know. It takes a minute to leave a message.

Passmethecrisps · 29/11/2015 22:52

You obviously have a lot on but whisker it bother you as long as you know you did get to it? Surely your own common sense says that the word of another child cannot be taken?
The invoice is another matter completely and you should treat it as such.
Small beans really.

Asheth · 29/11/2015 22:53

The school have to ring because just because she has always come with another pupil doesn't mean she always will. If one day she didn't and had an accident on the way do you really want her lying in a ditch until 3.30 when she wasn't at school at pick up time?

And my son's secondary school certainly got in touch. One day he was off premises at a music exam and the note I had sent in hadn't reached the office they rang me at about 9.15 to find out where he was. Schools usually have an answering machine so you can report absences as early as you are able.

Original poster
Brioche201 · 29/11/2015 22:53

Brioche. Thats where you're wrong about secondary schools not contacting parents

Our secondary school doesn't.They send you a letter weeks later asking to tick the reason for your child not being in registration for a particular session.

OP posts:
LemonRedwood · 29/11/2015 22:54

Ignore the letter if she didn't go on the trip. Probably a standard one given out to the whole class.

You are quite desperate to find something to bitch about.

Original poster
Brioche201 · 29/11/2015 22:54

I would take the word of a sensible eleven year old she always gets a lift in with.I think that is common sense in most people's book?

OP posts:
Pipbin · 29/11/2015 22:54

But it wasn't top of my ' to do' list

Well it should have been. You made a mistake and you are annoyed that you have been pulled up on it.

LemonRedwood · 29/11/2015 22:54

Now I think both you and your secondary are unreasonable.

JumpandScore · 29/11/2015 22:55

No, you don't ignore the letter. Someone's made a mistake. It just needs a polite email pointing that out, otherwise they still think you owe the money

azerty · 29/11/2015 22:55

Some children I taught were once kidnapped on the way to school (years ago). In those days schools didn't phone parents so no one knew they were missing until the evening.

LemonRedwood · 29/11/2015 22:55

Common sense does not allow a 10 or 11 year old to stand in for someone with parental responsibility.

gamerchick · 29/11/2015 22:56

Now my youngests school is pure mint. They don't harass you and in turn you go out of your way to check all their boxes and keep them happy. Not all primarys are like that.

Comps are a serious pain in the arse and expect you to wipe your 16 yr olds arse every step of the way. No wonder kids are leaving school incapable of arranging their own lives.

Original poster
Brioche201 · 29/11/2015 22:56

I am just venting about the 'invoice' really to save starting another thread.Ity is irrelevant whether she went on the trip or not .A voluntary contribution is, well, you know, voluntary! The invoice orders 'The above needs to be paid '

OP posts:
Bubbletree4 · 29/11/2015 22:56

Yabu
You need to just do a quick one line email to school secy the instant you decide to keep her off school. Our school policy is phone/email by 8.45.
Teachers in our school are obliged to immediately inform school sec of dc missing at register time. They give the kids late marks as well. School need to know if kids are absent.

GruntledOne · 29/11/2015 22:57

The practice of contacting parents early started after a case where a school failed to contact parents to tell them a child hadn't arrived for some hours, by which time she had disappeared (though I think she was ultimately found). If you don't choose to prioritise letting the school know that your child hasn't come in (despite the fact that it's a job that takes 5 minutes at most), you really, really can't complain when they try to get in touch with you before you decide it's time to let them know.

Are you really telling us that you still blame the school for taking your child's safety seriously?

Pipbin · 29/11/2015 22:57

I would take the word of a sensible eleven year old she always gets a lift in with.I think that is common sense in most people's book?

No. It's not common sense. Who is to say that the 11 year old isn't lying about it?
What if your DD was sneaking off to meet a 'boyfriend' rather than going into school between being dropped off and registration? What if she had talked her sensible friend into lying for her?
Common sense is that you, the parent, do some parenting and call in when your child is sick, not blame everyone else.

gamerchick · 29/11/2015 22:57

OP you MUST ring the school long before they are supposed to start and let them know. Take it on the chin man.

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