to ask about the general attitude to children with behavioural differences

[Francoitalialan]

Inspired by another thread, if you have ordinary non-special needs kids, especially of primary age, and there's a child at school displaying behaviour that's different to the norm, what conclusion do you reach?

Options may include

Not nice
Nasty
Product of crap parents
Rude
Spiteful
Dim
Annoying
Irritating
And also
Autistic spectrum disorder
Attention deficit disorder
Hyperactivity
Anxiety disorder
Dyspraxia
Sensory processing disorder
Auditory processing Disorder
Misphonia
Tourette's

Ad Infinitum.

Where do you generally place your opinion and why?

It had an unnecessary PA in it so was deleted

I've thought about it, but he is a real extrovert and enjoys being around people. He has friends in school and is happy (apart from feeling he is treated badly and misunderstood by teachers). He would hate being at home all the time.
I'm an introvert and need time to wind down in order to cope with him every evening.
I am in absolute awe of people who HE, and wish I was a better person so I could take this on.
I think if it gets to a point, I would have no choice but to take him out, but at the moment, I'm frustrated because it wouldn't take a lot to help him feel less anxious in school, he doesn't need any 1:1, just a slightly different approach, but they won't try it.

Sorry my post doesn't make sense at all

2nd paragraph- if your child was continously voilent towards another

3rd- as in i should be showing compassion towards the other child, but the other child's mother shouldn't spare a thought towards mine

if a dig was deleted surely its a bit stirry to go on about it

plus you are also talking bull about "that" poster

I think I understand what you're trying to say.

My perspective (as the mother of two other children as well, who are NT and yet are perfectly capable of being tricksters when they want to) is that one child hurting another child isn't acceptable. End of. If any of my kids hurt each other, they're sanctioned, NT or SN, but the sanctions will vary, just as the motivation varies. My SN boy has lashed out at loud noises, my NT kids haven't. My NT kids have hit when they thought they're losing a game, for example, but my SN child doesn't as he doesn't really "get" competition.
I don't tolerate the behaviour but I react differently to it and frame the motivation differently depending on who has done it. Does that make sense?

Philphilconnors I'm going to pm you x

Perfect sense

Enjolrass Sat 28-Nov-15 14:18:06

Your story is one of the worst I have ever read on MN.

Have you looked into suing your council or whoever for lack of duty of care

I am horrified.

Its hard isnt it.

I know of a child who since he was 3 has displayed violent tendencies and been very cunning about inflicting pain.

Not once did I ever see his dp ever reprimanding/punishing/or telling him off.
This child now causes issues in class.

Parenting can cause behavioural issues in 'normal' children - because the parents (through no fault of their own) may lack the background/support/education/input needed to be better parents.

The dp I am thinking of are highly educated, middle class. They just never seemed to tell the dc off, or set boundaries, literally letting him get away with everything , and it was a lot of everything.

Don't you mean the impact on ALL children of disruptive and violent behaviour?

you'd think people would notice their PAs being deleted and give up

Fanjo - I think my post was perfectly fair. I suggest you read your posts back. My point was that it a mainstream school was not right for a kid with SN that leads to violent or disruptive behaviour, from both the child with SN's perspective or that of the other pupils. Your points afterwards inferred that parents just wanted to get rid of the SN kid. All parents want what is right for their child NT or SN, that is natural, but it is a bad situation for all, not just the child with SN

No honking, the poster was not dsimissive of the impact on the child with SN

"Children with sn and challenging or aggressive behaviour might do better in a sn school rather than ms with 1:1, however just because the teachers are better trained and may only deal with 2-3 pupils doesn't mean the child won't still need 1:1. Sn school plus 1:1 is obviously more expensive than ms plus 1:1 and the Lea don't want to pay."

Yes, I insisted on my son's right to mainstream until the lea agreed to fund special school with 1:1. My son doesn't learn unless he has 1:1 but his school were content to push him off to an unsuitable special school where he would have learned nothing.

Its tricky I know child with SN and is usual in every day behaviour ( with LD) however will occasionally get frustrated and shout for a while.

This is very to the child who is causing problems every single day and is violent. I cant see how its fair on anyone.

My point was a general one.

Not sure why you need to infer so much that I don't think and bang on making PAs for days

But it's OK for you to infer what I think?

I have said probably 1000 times on MN that all kids are important.

My post said a lot of parents and wasn't directed at you.

An apology would be nice but I won't hold my breath

I didn't infer anything about you.

Didn't even notice you existed until the repeated PAS tbh.

Anyway just give it a rest please

You quoted my post then responded as below. If that isn't inferring I don't know what is. And as for not even knowing I existed until the "PA" If you hadn't responded to my perfectly reasonable post in the manner you did you still wouldn't know I existed because there you wouldn't have been mentioned.

Why is it always suggested that violent children to be sent off to special schools?

Is it OK for them to be violent to my DD or something?

NiMBYism IMO.

.... the real reason its suggested is to get them away from one's NT kid

... an apology would be nice, but I won't hold my breath