Having for show items in the house...

[Unreasonablebetty]

I might be being a bit... Or a lot U,
But I like to buy certain things for show,
Like I've got certain tea towels, for show.
Certain knives to show
Towels to show,
Cushions also to show.

We have slightly less pretty versions of all these things that are for use, but I do like to keep some things looking nice, like the tea towels that hang in the kitchen and bathroom that look nice and crisp,

I just bought new cushions that were only put on the sofa today. My husband came home and flopped down in his paint covered work clothes, took his boots and socks off, and tried to use one of my new cushions as a footrest.
Not five foot away is a perfectly good foot rest. But he wants to use my cushions.
This set me off, squealing like a banshee that his sweaty smelly feet do not belong on my new cushions, in fact they were moved away so DD didn't cost them in felt tip. And why is he laying on one of them?

He thinks it's U to have cushions that he can't lay on, or rub his feet all over,
I think it's perfectly fine, there are other cushions too, another 6 or 7 in total in the living room, but he surely shouldn't expect to rub his feet on my cushions?? No one wants foot smelling cushions surrounding them??
I might be being quite pedantic, and it might just be that other stuff he does is getting to me, but this is really annoying me as when it gets cold I love to make the house homely and buy nice new cushions and generally nicer for us, and he seems to lack respect for our home.
It's not like he didn't know that I have for show items, I've always been the same the five years I've known him.

Is it that mad to say, them few cushions are for you to pick up sit with on your lap or on the floor, but they're love hearts, I don't want you distorting the shape??

On Four in a Bed recently there was a B & B that had "towels for show" complete with a little sign instructing that they were for decoration purposes only.

I don't have anything for show; a larger than average family means that the house is a tip regardless of the effort I put in!

Alan Bennett is Northern and working class and loads of his characters and autobiographical stories have things 'for show', or at least 'for best' when 'best' was 'never'. But then the Lady in The Van has things 'for show' and she is neither Northern or working class. Maybe it's generational. My Grandma (Northern and wc) had a room you weren't allowed in unless you were the vicar or someone so she spent her life sitting on a hard wooden chair in the kitchen.

The underwear story went a bit like this, the washing went out to dry, few sets of my undies, and I went off to bath DD and get her ready.

Washing was dry, but cool to the touch. He went to bring washing in, being helpful- but thought Betty cant wear or put them away being damp, puts them in the microwave to get rid of the dampness.
As he came upstairs with a pile of underwear I could smell a burnt plastic smell,
What have you tried cooking I ask... Silence followed by him and a pile of my knickers, he explained. I couldn't do anything but laugh at the time, but it really was a sign of what's to come.

YABU about the "show" tea towels, but not BU about not wanting sweaty feet wiped all over the cushions, new or not, especially when there is a footrest he could use.

I think you need a talk with DH about how the manner in which he treats things makes you feel. Also, YY to Garlick - is it just stuff you've bought that gets treated like rubbish, or is he the same with everything?

Our shower curtain needed replacing, and it just happened that I got one and was putting it up the day before my friend was coming to stay over. DSS(9) said to me, "Is that shower curtain for ever, or is it just for guests?" Nearly wee'd when he did a fist pump and went "Yesssss!" when I replied that it was staying up until it needed replacing. I don't know what the hell type of set-up his mother has going on at her house!

The shoes off thing I'm completely on board with :)

Nothing worse than finding dog shit trodden into all your carpets. Even if they're not your "best" carpets ;). Better for your feet too.

My mum used to do it with clothes too. "don't wear that, save it for best". It was once I realised I had lots of lovely clothes, barely worn, that I'd grown out of, I thought fuck that, it's lovely so I shall wear it. Even if it is only to the corner shop.

Re.coasters. I have a house full of children, why would I choose polished wood furniture? My mum has a polished rosewood dining table. I don't think I've ever actually seen it, it's always under about three covers and millions of coasters. What's the point if it'll never even be seen or appreciated?

I am simply at a loss for words about your burnt underwear. Sure, it's a funny story on the one hand but on the other... does he have incredibly bad judgement across the board, or just where it concerns housekeeping?

Garlic thank you, he doesn't have too much of a choice these days, but then he drives me mental, the only housework he can ever conceive that needs doing is rearranging DDs wardrobe and washing up. But he's good at them things. He can keep them jobs.

Miawroar- I will most certainly tell him you said so.

Blue bananas-as a bigger lady I feel I can tell you that yes there's lots of room still. My bums about double the size it should be, and I'm sat quite comfortably without messing up any of the new cushions.

Sarahsavestheday- it's across about 90% of the board, but then if he had good judgement he would have probably ran away by now.

Oh dear I'm the same op! I have a 'nice set' and basic set of most things. My dh is the same as yours, in that things are meant to be used. I work around it by just leaving my nice stuff in places where people wouldn't really go to.

Surly Valentine- your poor DSS, it's sweet he was so happy, but also quite sad.

Sorry but 9 cushions on a two seater is verging on the ridiculous. You must have to move them all before you can sit down!

I have a no shoes house as we have new light coloured carpets throughout. Plus, I don't really understand wearing shoes indoors, I love barefeet or my slippers.

I do agree with the "husband and cushions" thing though, we have a large 3 seater (first 2 adults and 2 DCs) and I have four cushions on it and he can't bear them being there and throws them on the floor, where I literally cannot sit on a sofa without a cushion to support the small of my back. It irritates me that he just leaves them on the floor and doesn't put them back when gets up, I don't need them neatly arranged, but do like them off the floor.

Half a bed full of cushions??!! Where did you put them all at bedtime?

Jibberjabberoo- honestly they aren't huge cushions... And the sofa is quite huge, very deep and 6of the cushions on this sofa he can do whatever he wants to. Except rub his feet on. I would still shout at him for that.

My Mother had a new sofa she was being rather precious with when I went to visit with the DCs.

Unfortunately for her the fates visited with a rather horrendous attack of the runs whilst we were there and she sharted on it. Copiously.

We didn't laugh much.

I inherited silver cutlery and nice and old Meissen Cina. Spend quite some time using them for "best". I then had a big declutter and realised we don't get much joy from our best crockery and cutlery. PP who said who are you showing them to is spot on, "best" is my immediate family so now we eat every day Spag Bol with the stuff and just enjoy it, and if it breaks it has served a purpose and given much joy.

Wholnowswherethetime-there were piles of cushions that would be at the end of the bed. And I would put the throw on top.
I'm a collector of such crap.
DDs room is also full of cushions. I'm a bit envious of hers now I've gotten rid of all the ones out of my room.
However what I will say, is I do a lot less washing now I've cut down on cushions. I don't have to wash them half as much now.

My only 'for show' thing is having a tidy up when someone is visiting. Then I get crabby with the children for messing things up. But not for long and then as soon as the visitors have established for their records that we don't live in a complete midden, it can get ruined again and I can even blame it on the guests.

I hate the idea of sweaty feet on anything that can't easily be washed though. He needs to put some clean socks on, or have a shower, or something. Then he can do what he wants but you have to stop caring about the shape of your cushions, or just get square ones next time - get stuff that will look nice even when it's been used.

Reni2- not showing to anyone. To me its just how I like the house to be.
I like to go to bed with it all looking nice, and wake up to the same.
Your china sounds lovely. I hope you all really enjoy eating off of it.

Houndoffthebaskervilles- oh god. I bet that was awful for her!

Deidredoo- I don't mind kids mess, they can't really help it can they!
It's the adults that ruin everything that I can't stand.

This is all utterly potty. I don't get the point of having items in your home that are supposed to be useful but you can't actually use.

Unfortunately for her the fates visited with a rather horrendous attack of the runs whilst we were there and she sharted on it. Copiously.

Oh my god. Really?

My parents are trying to sell their house, so I understand this - there are mugs and towels that are just brought out for viewings, and death would be instantaneous if my father tried to use them. That said, I am not convinced that people looking to buy homes check the fluffiness of the towels and use that in making their decision...

Mind you, what do I know? My parents' kitchen is larger than the entire footprint of my two bedroom terrace house, but twice they've had people saying that it's too small

Someone I know I has a lovely big house, is very house proud and it is always immaculate. I have been there a few times (part of a group thing). It is like a show home - something you would see in a magazine.

(I always dreamed that they might have a messy room upstairs - otherwise how can anyone (especially with DCs) keep that up?)

The downstairs loo is a shower room too - again immaculate - hand wash soap is posh liquid soap, a few tasteful designer shampoos, on glass display shelves.

I suspected that they aren't what they actually use - I thought they must hide away the stuff they use because it would look untidy (there is a big cupboard in there) ....and now I'm pretty sure I'm right!

A few visits ago I was washing my hands and my eye was drawn to something that seemed slightly out of place on the glass display shelves...it was a cheap plastic cup containing a screwed manky looking tube of haemorrhoid treatment cream...obviously someone had forgotten to hide away . Not that is more like the reality of my life....

A bit of a different perspective but.. I would love to have things "for show" that didn't get trashed. I blame all those home magazines with the white sofa, white rugs, white towels, white sheets etc etc. It's impossible to keep any of it clean. Had a set of white bed clothes a few years ago, my first, so excited! - grubby after 2 days. Then you wash them and they turn yellow in patches, develop strange marks... Try washing them extra hot - nothing. Dyed them blue, will never buy white again. All I can think is that they are for people who shower immediately before bed every night, never wake up sweating, don't have a dog, never eat or drink in bed, never have sex in bed (!!!) .. And wash the blimming sheets every five minutes. My life is too short for that.

I am liking the idea of a show tea towel. They always get wrecked, ugh. We tend to use kitchen roll instead. Doesn't look pretty no matter how you store it though ... First world problems

You spend all kinds of money on things you don't use. More fool you.