Having for show items in the house...

[Unreasonablebetty]

I might be being a bit... Or a lot U,
But I like to buy certain things for show,
Like I've got certain tea towels, for show.
Certain knives to show
Towels to show,
Cushions also to show.

We have slightly less pretty versions of all these things that are for use, but I do like to keep some things looking nice, like the tea towels that hang in the kitchen and bathroom that look nice and crisp,

I just bought new cushions that were only put on the sofa today. My husband came home and flopped down in his paint covered work clothes, took his boots and socks off, and tried to use one of my new cushions as a footrest.
Not five foot away is a perfectly good foot rest. But he wants to use my cushions.
This set me off, squealing like a banshee that his sweaty smelly feet do not belong on my new cushions, in fact they were moved away so DD didn't cost them in felt tip. And why is he laying on one of them?

He thinks it's U to have cushions that he can't lay on, or rub his feet all over,
I think it's perfectly fine, there are other cushions too, another 6 or 7 in total in the living room, but he surely shouldn't expect to rub his feet on my cushions?? No one wants foot smelling cushions surrounding them??
I might be being quite pedantic, and it might just be that other stuff he does is getting to me, but this is really annoying me as when it gets cold I love to make the house homely and buy nice new cushions and generally nicer for us, and he seems to lack respect for our home.
It's not like he didn't know that I have for show items, I've always been the same the five years I've known him.

Is it that mad to say, them few cushions are for you to pick up sit with on your lap or on the floor, but they're love hearts, I don't want you distorting the shape??

[purrito]

I don't have any "for show" stuff and think it looks really naff in other people's houses (you can always tell). I do however have antique china and glasses I only use for special occasions. They'e not dishwasher safe and I'm much too lazy to wash them by hand on a day to day basis.

The OP's DH and the other halves of some previous posters do sound a nightmare though. I'm quite laid back about cleaning and tidiness but could not live with a pig man who wipes his greasy hands on the sofa, sweats into expensive cushions and plonks himself down next to me all sweaty and with smelly feet. Thankfully my DP is appreciative of my carefully curated cushions, cashmere throws and the 1000 TC bedlinen (yes, I sound like a twat ) and always smells nice. So looks like I won't have to marry a gay man after all (my DM's prediction).

[44PumpLane]

OP I'm not a "for show" person so think maybe you should lighten up on that front!

However I would be livid if my husband came in from work (does up properties so builder/painter/plasterer type work) and plonked himself down on the sofa in his work garb and got his grubby feet out and onto the cushions. It's a matter of cleanliness/hygiene! I'm lucky though as the first thing DH does when he comes home is pop up to the shower.

Sweaty feet all over the couch, that can't simply get bunged in the wash is minging!

[CatMilkMan]

Yabu.

[metimeisforwimps]

My granny had a whole sofa that she was saving for the doctor to sit on. If he ever needed to do a home visit. Don't think the doctor ever came

[vixsatis]

"Show" tea towels?

I think I have now heard everything

[GreenPotato]

Neighbours when I was growing up had a whole front room that was just for best (they all slummed it in another, smaller room to watch tv etc). It was so special, it had plastic runners over the carpet and plastic covers over the 3-piece suite, to make sure no one ever touched them! I never saw, or knew, who got the honour of actually using it or when. It used to boggle my mind.

[DixieDarling]

OP, I also don't get the whole'for show' thing, but that doesn't mean I don't think the place should be treated with some respect. Your DH is being inconsiderate - you all have to live there, and while it's reasonable to expect home not to be like a a museum, you also want it comfortable and nice to look at - not covered in bits of paint and stinking of smelly feet!

[CocktailQueen]

Sometimes, I sit around and wonder if I sweat the small stuff too much. Then I come on mumsnet and see people worrying about feet on cushions and show knives getting ruined and I realise that I am up worrying at 1.30am for no good reason.

That made me laugh out loud, steakpuna!!

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Lolling around in dirty clothes is not on though. If my DH or kids come home dirty or muddy they are shoes off at the door, clothes in the washing basket, straight in the shower.

I don't keep anything for best, we have very good stuff for everyday. Some people can't afford that though, so I do see where they are coming from.

[catfordbetty]

So looks like I won't have to marry a gay man after all (my DM's prediction).

Well, no stereotyping there, thank goodness.


[DeletePlay]

I think it is reasonable to have some cushions that your don't chuck on the floor and use as a footrest. I was about to say that cushions that never get used at all are a bit silly though until I thought of our beds...with their scatter cushions that never get used other than to cheer the bed up a bit when it is made! I think I will ditch those though when I redecorate the bedrooms (11 years and counting there though!).

SIL bought a duvet set with pillow cases that are horrible to sleep on (buttons/heavy embroidery). She still uses the set (it is her favourite) but lies the cases on top of the pillows with plain, comfortable cases, on. It has been years now - it looks...silly, but if it makes her happy...

Definitely wouldn't do show tea-towels - I like tea towels that work and get washed after every use, so I have a drawer full of e-cloth tea towels.

[givemushypeasachance]

Just after I finished being a student I remember starting to buy some nicer kitchen things for myself, and I bought a wooden chopping board with some little hand-carved wooden mice on it. I was musing out loud about how it was really sweet and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to bring myself to actually use it and scratch the board up - or as I phrased it, "ruin it". My Mum just tutted in a no-nonsense way and told me basically not to be silly - that it was a chopping board and had been made to be used for cutting on. To just have it for show would negate the point of having bought it.

I may have still winced a little the first time I cut on it, but years later it's still a lovely natural wooden chopping board and I think it's the nicer for the use that shows in the scratches and cuts. Yes possessions should be respected, and not recklessly damaged for want of taking a bit of time and care, but it's silly to go out of your way to make life uncomfortable or awkward because you don't want to use practical household items.

[RaskolnikovsGarret]

My MIL kept lots of things for best but never got to use them as she died at 54. I wouldn't recommend keeping things for best, but would rather use things carefully.

[vvviola]

Books for show, manic?? Nope. Does not compute

In our house books are for reading, re-reading, stacking up beside the bed and, on one memorable occasion, making me realise that now DH might be worth hanging on to (he is the first person, male or female, to take a step forward instead of a step back when he saw my bookshelf - I have eclectic taste in books, with a strong military history angle).

I do have "good" crockery, cutlery etc, but it gets regularly used (Sunday dinner, guest, when DH and I fancy a nice glass of wine), just not for beans on toast for lunch on a Saturday.

[FedUpWithJudgementalPeople]

I have a friend like this - she has certain cushions even guests are not allow to lean on.
I kind of think if stuff is so expensive or special that you would be gutted if someone accidentally marks it there is no point in having it in your house.
Also it is not homely at all to have a load of stuff in your house people are scared to use - I feel on egg shells at my friends rather than it being welcoming.

[DisneyMillie]

My DP has some cutlery he brought with him when he moved in that we're only allowed out for special occasions because it's "so expensive". It's not and I don't have the heart to tell him the stuff we use everyday is pricier (wedding gift with exh). Whatever makes him happy! (I don't get the point of show stuff myself).

[GreenPotato]

A friend of mine's mum was so horrified by the idea of her friends seeing his books sitting around, that she hid them in the shed! Books were not a show item but an embarrassment!

[slithytove]

The only thing we have for 'best' is a cutlery set which can't go in the dishwasher, plus we all seem to lose spoons with alarming regularity in this house, and is it nice to have them all matching when we have people over.

[eternalopt]

It's not something I do, as I like to use any nice things I buy, but I understand the concept of "show" towels/cushions, but wtf are show curtains? Do you change your curtains for guests? What do you do to your standard curtains to make them look scruffy?!? I'm very confused!

[slithytove]

That wasn't a question... it is nice

[tootiredtoknow]

Show Tea Towels? Really!! Hide the horrible things in a cupboard. I do dress my bed and have lovely cushions but would never keep them for best. Its ridiculous and stressful. You're getting yourself in a state over what?

Look after things and treat them with respect. They'll last just as long. Make him get changed when he comes through the door instead of letting him spread dirt everywhere.

[GreenPotato]

Oh the issue or "marking" furniture and having to use coasters makes me seethe. It's the ultimate way to make people feel unable to relax. Ugh. I'd rather get a bogstandard ikea table and accept it will get some marks over time.

MIL constantly nags and goes on about her furniture getting "marked" and bustles about telling us off and giving us coasters. It drives me insane especially as all her furniture is hideous and already covered in marks! I always want to say "Oh sorry have I marked the table, or is that one of the 150 other marks that were already there?"

[Unreasonablebetty]

can I just say it's not stuff for best? There are things that I just don't want used. We do have nice things, the knives that are for show are a lower quality than what I use to cook with, but are nicer on the eye- cos of the colour of the handles,
The towels in the bathroom are white and are just there really. We have loads of towels actually a better quality but they aren't white like the ones in the bathroom.
This stems from having stuff being ruined by him in the past? When we met all of my glassware and China was Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen which he dutifully ruined.
He's treated stuff in the house appallingly much of the time, and he's the same with his clothes.
To me it feels like there's certain things (knives excepted because they are only unused because they aren't a v good quality but I liked them) that I need to have as non use, because allowing my DD and myself to use things and not him seems very unfair.
Maybe I just need to have a word with him about being such an oath sometimes. It has had an effect on other areas.
For example, he's no longer bought designer clothes by me, every time I've bought him something nice he's worn it then decided he's going to do some work... I remember finding him laying bricks in his brand new Armani jeans, brand new timberlands and Hugo boss top.

The for show stuff is kind of my way of holding onto something that's still nice...cos he's worse than a small child.
Btw- I don't have these issues with DD. she's quite tidy and trusted to not ruin things.

[Snowglobe18]

Hahaha, I empathise completely with the feeling, but yes, sorry, YABU.

[Snowglobe18]

Though it sounds like your DH could be a lot more careful, too.