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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that there is a serious lack of perspective on mn now to the point it is not actually possible to have a decent discussion any more?

472 replies

wannaBe · 26/11/2015 14:29

Yes, thread inspired by lots of threads but provoked by the flaming I have just had on one in particular. But not a thread about that particular thread.

It seems lately that it is impossible to have an actual discussion on mn without someone either misinterpreting, misreading, twisting, or generally overreacting to everything

Example: poster starts a lighthearted thread about something which it should be obvious that it is lighthearted. A few posts in someone decides to take it very seriously and give the op a flaming. A few more posts in and someone suggests the thread title should be edited by mn hq to ensure people realise it's lighthearted, even though the subject was something like "ibu to burn the house down because I found a spider in the bathroom?"

Or: "ibu to think it's the end of the world because dh ate the chocolate?" response: "there are children dying in the world how dare you even post about chocolate," meant very seriously.

And yes, on the thread I was just on, recounting an incident 35 years ago where my cousin sent out fake invitations to a party unbeknowns to his parents and children turned up. Shock obviously mortifying at the time but 35 years on it's something that his friends remember and laugh at, something which was brought up in his best man's wedding speech, and yes, something which 35 years on is amusing in a "OMG his parents were mortified," way. And yet I have just been told I am sick in the head for finding children's utter devastation over a party they didn't attend 35 years ago amusing.

Mn has always been supportive but has also always had a reputation for being amusing, funny, lighthearted etc, but it is rapidly losing that reputation IMO.

OP posts:
Badders123 · 26/11/2015 15:29

I think MNHQ should preface every thread with the following;

  1. Please read the whole op.
  2. Please rtft.
  3. Please don't be a dick.
Think that covers it....
wol1968 · 26/11/2015 15:30

Oh and MNHQ are the proverbial chocolate teapot when it comes to dealing with derailing arguments and petty personal attacks.

DonkeyOaty · 26/11/2015 15:30

Oh but I will frown at casual disablism. Darn those parents of disabled children for speaking up, huh, exexpat.

Quietlifenotonyournelly · 26/11/2015 15:31

Yanbu, sometimes I type out a response to a thread then delete before posting as I imagine the aftermath to a completely innocent comment Sad

Sparklingbrook · 26/11/2015 15:34

I don't think there are any 'off limits' topics. There are ones that come up time and time again go round in bunfighty circles for pages, come to no conclusion etc.

Owllady · 26/11/2015 15:36

With the same posters on each one, hey sparklingbrook? :o

Sparklingbrook · 26/11/2015 15:37

Not sure Owl.

Owllady · 26/11/2015 15:38

I wonder if the posters concerned don't just think, we discussed this last month
But no
It's like being married.
You never do the dishes Confused

Sparklingbrook · 26/11/2015 15:39

I think it must be confusing for anyone new arriving. A quick tutorial in how to use the AS function might be a good addition to signing up. Grin

Hullygully · 26/11/2015 15:39

PO PO PO PO PO PO PO PO

They march on crushing our spirits under their mean-spirited feet and trampling the earth into dull mediocrity.

Sparklingbrook · 26/11/2015 15:40

Are you allowed to say 'PO'? Shock

MotherofFlagons · 26/11/2015 15:41

There seem to be a lot of massive over-reactions to really trivial things. And people picking apart an OP to find something to be offended about while ignoring the rest of the post.

magimedi · 26/11/2015 15:42

^^

Wot Hully said. Too true, sadly.

Snowglobe18 · 26/11/2015 15:42

YANBU.

jorahmormont · 26/11/2015 15:43

Oh yes the unnecessary pile-in that doesn't stop even when the OP says "Right, I hold my hands up, thank you for the perspective".

Maryz · 26/11/2015 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhataRacquet · 26/11/2015 15:46

I was on a thread lately where everyone was having a light hearted discussion and someone came on with a "righteous" post. They were just ignored and the thread carried on. I can't even remember what it was about now but I think that is the way to go when it comes to those posts.

Sparklingbrook · 26/11/2015 15:48

Ah thanks Maryz I was a bit worried there.

There also seems to be a lot of Zombie thread resurrections lately which is a bit Confused.

bialystockandbloom · 26/11/2015 15:48

I think there's certainly a lot less tolerance here now than in days of yore.

VocationalGoat · 26/11/2015 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ifgrandmahadawilly · 26/11/2015 15:49

YANBU. People on here have become very po-faced and thin skinned.

I think that's just the general way society is going at the moment though, with 'safe spaces' and no plat-forming and all that business.

Mehitabel6 · 26/11/2015 15:49

I think it is all due to people not bothering to read the thread.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 26/11/2015 15:50

My personal favourite was the sanctimonious git person that was offended by the shitty things people sell on Facebook thread. Probably a glittery glass lover.

Werksallhourz · 26/11/2015 15:50

I must admit there are quite a few halo hunters around.

lastuseraccount123 · 26/11/2015 15:51

agreed. It's why I stick to my little corner of mumsnet.