To think that there is a serious lack of perspective on mn now to the point it is not actually possible to have a decent discussion any more?

[wannaBe]

Yes, thread inspired by lots of threads but provoked by the flaming I have just had on one in particular. But not a thread about that particular thread.

It seems lately that it is impossible to have an actual discussion on mn without someone either misinterpreting, misreading, twisting, or generally overreacting to everything

Example: poster starts a lighthearted thread about something which it should be obvious that it is lighthearted. A few posts in someone decides to take it very seriously and give the op a flaming. A few more posts in and someone suggests the thread title should be edited by mn hq to ensure people realise it's lighthearted, even though the subject was something like "ibu to burn the house down because I found a spider in the bathroom?"

Or: "ibu to think it's the end of the world because dh ate the chocolate?" response: "there are children dying in the world how dare you even post about chocolate," meant very seriously.

And yes, on the thread I was just on, recounting an incident 35 years ago where my cousin sent out fake invitations to a party unbeknowns to his parents and children turned up. obviously mortifying at the time but 35 years on it's something that his friends remember and laugh at, something which was brought up in his best man's wedding speech, and yes, something which 35 years on is amusing in a "OMG his parents were mortified," way. And yet I have just been told I am sick in the head for finding children's utter devastation over a party they didn't attend 35 years ago amusing.

Mn has always been supportive but has also always had a reputation for being amusing, funny, lighthearted etc, but it is rapidly losing that reputation IMO.

If something can be read wrongly, it will be. I think that's just a matter of the size of membership. Smaller communities tend to 'know' one another better.

And heaven help you if you ask for clarification, because you can read something two ways and want to know which it is. You may then be jumped on for being frightfully rude, because other posters felt it completely clear one way or the other. And if you're really unlucky, even after several posts explaining what you meant and total lack of shitty intentions, you might still find yourself being talked about on a TAAT.

So yes, I know there are MNetters who find me the epitome of rudeness/hostility/abrasiveness/wish I were gone/would hide me if they could. I did take a break. I don't know (don't want to know, actually) if I'm still top of the shit-list spreadsheets even now after some time has passed.

But yes, I don't see MN the same way as I used to.

Maybe it's another language when it's online? We definately miss something of the communication once its fired from the broadcaster into the black box, and when you are missing the visual and aural queues there is scope for misinterpretation once it reaches the audience.

Plus some people do seem to deliberately try to take umbridge, or are looking to pick a spat.

Have seen people admitting they come on MN when they feel a bit aggressive and have a bunfight to let off steam. I think many posters do this.

I've thought of something else that has changed... I used to love reading the spooky, ghost story/unexplained threads but now within a page or so someone will come on and say there is no such thing as ghosts and how ridiculous people are being and the thread quickly derails. There were always a couple of posters that would crop up on the threads and scoff a bit but now it's nearly impossible to get a good creepy thread without it being completely taken over. Not that there's anything wrong with logic or coming up with explanations for things but sometimes it's just a bit of fun and it would be nice if people knew when to just roll their eyes and leave people to it rather than wading in to show everyone how silly they're being. Sometimes people just want to be silly!

Yy, fanjo, or being absolute cunts then popping up with a thread about personal problems as if that makes it ok to take it out on others online.

Yes that happened to me recently.

Someone ripped into me then I saw them on another thread saying "I have been a bit grumpy with people (in real life) recently"

Totally agree. What is wrong with posters at the minute

Everyone is so offended and aghast all the time. A seemingly nice thread title and then BOOM arsey posters galore.

What happened to support and funny threads?

What? Chocolate? Are you some sort of lunatic? Don't you realise there are people who have very serious chocolate allergies and diabetes and would due if they are chocolate?

How very inconsiderate and offensive. I have reported yourcomment to mnhq, my local mp and the international court of human rights and the war crimes tribunal.

Ha! exactly that mavis

See - some people still understand the spirit of mumsnet! Phew, I was getting a bit worried for a while there.

Have seen people admitting they come on MN when they feel a bit aggressive and have a bunfight to let off steam. I think many posters do this.

Fighting on the internet lets off steam? Really?

Whatever happened to just taking a long shower or going for a jog?

The last funny thread I saw (along the lines of the T-Rex threads, similar in nature), the poster got lambasted, called a troll, a lot of people were calling for her to be banned, and were very angry - this was after the reveal. It was sad. I thought then that the face of MN was changing.

i remember a funny light hearted thread recently bring completely ruined by an arsey po poster who clearly, from other responses she received had form for this. She was unbelievably aggressive. Strangely she has posted on this thread bemoaning that very type of behaviour. I mean this is a poster
well known for her rude and defensive posting.
Some people obviously just don't see the connection between this thread and their own behaviour.

You get one po-faced misery and they all pile in!
"Thank you for all the helpful posts'
'Some posters are just sooooo rooood'. Ignore them, hun'

i wonder if it would not happen so often if it was not so easy to name change.

Not sure. You do need to be able to change if your real life cover is blown, or if you get some nasty singing from a flaming.

Maybe we need a new thread for threads that have discussions but actually venture into the humourous and ironic.

Singing? Singeing. Is that a word?

Yes, it's a word. DS is learning how to cook, both he and the food often get a singeing!

Arf. It just doesn't look right written down! Maybe is should be St John! Haha. (It's early and pre-coffee o'clock.)

Hun have I crossed over?

I think being able to name change has several advantages.
You can post a lot about yourself without the danger of posters being able to guess your RL persona.
You can avoid situations where some poster takes umbrage at something you said and seeks every opportunity thereafter to put you down, derail your threads, or twist your words.
And it scuppers the obnoxious habit some posters have of doing an AS and making snide remarks about your posting history because they're losing an argument.

daisy i name changed once and everyone knew who i was by a few posts. wrll to b honest someone knew who i was then started outing me/brining up old threads. i think its also the way i type.. but yes it defo makes it easyer for the things you said. i srill think it can be used in the way it should not be though. but then i guess MN would be on to it if it was that bad.