To think that there is a serious lack of perspective on mn now to the point it is not actually possible to have a decent discussion any more?

[wannaBe]

Yes, thread inspired by lots of threads but provoked by the flaming I have just had on one in particular. But not a thread about that particular thread.

It seems lately that it is impossible to have an actual discussion on mn without someone either misinterpreting, misreading, twisting, or generally overreacting to everything

Example: poster starts a lighthearted thread about something which it should be obvious that it is lighthearted. A few posts in someone decides to take it very seriously and give the op a flaming. A few more posts in and someone suggests the thread title should be edited by mn hq to ensure people realise it's lighthearted, even though the subject was something like "ibu to burn the house down because I found a spider in the bathroom?"

Or: "ibu to think it's the end of the world because dh ate the chocolate?" response: "there are children dying in the world how dare you even post about chocolate," meant very seriously.

And yes, on the thread I was just on, recounting an incident 35 years ago where my cousin sent out fake invitations to a party unbeknowns to his parents and children turned up. obviously mortifying at the time but 35 years on it's something that his friends remember and laugh at, something which was brought up in his best man's wedding speech, and yes, something which 35 years on is amusing in a "OMG his parents were mortified," way. And yet I have just been told I am sick in the head for finding children's utter devastation over a party they didn't attend 35 years ago amusing.

Mn has always been supportive but has also always had a reputation for being amusing, funny, lighthearted etc, but it is rapidly losing that reputation IMO.

I miss hully's KILL THEM randomly inserted into threads

A definite third vote for Bryan Ferry, he is a legend! Your DS has good taste, bigbuttons!

I found Hully sometimes funny and incisive, and sometimes very passive aggressive and goady - it was subtle, but she'd post a thread which I felt prodded po posters just so that she go on a rant about the po posters and start a thread about it.

And those threads themselves go back years so it's nothing new all this 'MN is boring now, where are all the mavericks' stuff.

I don't see you ever being part of the PO, usual

Please dont get the thread deleted by making personal attacks

I've never joined a 'not the same anymore' thread but I have to agree with wannabe, every thread now is just an excuse for people to be miserable and moany and bloody rude. It used to be fun here (also been here about 10 years), we used to have funny threads about proper stupid stuff but now there seems to be some kind of puritanical lemon sucking competition going on.

The thread where the BF was asking about his girlfriends bleeding was just awful. Once he clarified that he was asking out of worry and nobody had a legitimate reason to pile on anymore, one poster asked 'was you even there at the birth of your child?' Which was completely irrelevant and she was clearly hoping he would say no so the pile on could continue. It was almost as if she was thinking 'well if I have no reason to be a dick I will just have to find a reason'

Just read that thread OP - quite agree with you. Totally ridiculous comments to you.

Maud Yes she did pass away in 1995 but there are pictures of them together when he graduated etc. Those are never publicly shown in the media or by his team when they refer to his childhood. What are shown is the Obama family with the MIL all the bloody time. Credit where credit is due to his mother who back in the 60s must have had a very hard time raising a half black male in the US. Clearly she did a great job.

I think people are BORED !!!!
the lack of real life - everything filtered through screens - is sensationless and numbing
and the entertainment offered on you tube and tv..like I'm a celeb - which is really just showing ..well..torture as entertainment to alleviate the long stretches of arse scratching boredom..makes it quite hard to actually care

When everything is available at the touch of a button it all becomes meaningless
and this - what is happening here on MN is an extension of that numbness
posts ? the more dramatic the better - you might well be lying so its not really real...
why not pour on add torture and insult to increase effect ?
no matter how vile you are - there’s no actual feeling of effect..

I'm just surprised its not much much worse sometimes

Sadly I have to agree with the OP too.

it isn't just the competitive righteousness, it is also the intemperate way views are expressed. Happened to me this week, which was ironic given the post the other person was reacting to had asked why everyone was so angry all the time, or something similar.

MN has always had this aspect but it is spreading. Unfortunately, most of the rest of the Internet is a boiling cauldron of outrage and intolerance and it is now infecting MN. Just because we are all more or less anonymous does not mean we should be vicious for the sake of it.

What has happened - IMVHO - is that people don't seem to able to argue with the post and instead have a go at the poster.

I posted a while ago on a thread, the subject of which is one guaranteed to get people frothed up. Someone I always thought I got on well with (on here - no-one I actually know or have met) really went to town on me and accused me of all sorts. I was perfectly able and prepared to defend my argument, but I wasn't prepared for someone to really have a go at me. 't was horribly upsetting, and it's really put me off posting - and certainly not on threads where she posts any more. Worse, she's one of my FB 'friends' and I actively avoid posting on the group that we both belong to because of the way she posted about and to me.*

The culture here has definitely changed. There simply aren't the same kind of humorous, witty (in the sense of intelligent) threads that there used to be, and there are too many people who want to pile in for a good fight, because they think they have to behave that way in 'the nest of vipers'

The very fact that you have to label a thread 'lighthearted' says it all, I think.

*I always wonder if there was something going on in her life that made her post like that, and I wonder if she had any clue how much she upset me about the things that she said. But I've never been brave enough to ask her, as it was so, so hurtful

I think there's far too many people who spend far too much time on MN & are way too over invested.
I often wonder how they fit RL in?
But in answer to you op; if a website is annoying you log off & do something you enjoy? MN is not compulsory

I applaud you OP that is so true, YANBU. And good points exexpat btw.

Having experienced a couple of flamings ( I am the most cruel person in the world to animals and I should never have a pet - said to me after I asked some questions about how to look after a dog, as I knew nothing about them, sigh) I think one of the things are so evident is that the charmless idiots who just want to row not discuss the flamers do not actually read the thread title and think about it before they respond. No, they read what they want to see, it's really is beyond belief at times. I feel like screaming, get out your Janet and John books (if you're a child of the 60's/70's) and learn to f**cking read will ya?

Yes, it's very tiresome.

I've noticed the nastiness, I stopped reading for a while, well about nine months, and recently came back on under a new account as I changed my e mail. Apart from people I recognise that would be you anyfucker etc....
There seems to be a lot of sanctimonious pratts about.....

The recent "worst thing you've ever done" thread pissed me right off, with loads of people piling in towards the end to say how horrified and disgusted they were by some of the confessions, which was so unnecessary and utterly missing the point. The way the "how do I make space for my new baby" thread turned was horrible too. All the poor woman wanted was some advice and moving furniture around, not to be told she was an irresponsible cow with too many children.

I must confess I've been a bit arsey on here recently. Mostly with posters on threads asking for advice who don't engage at all with discussion but just wade in with an unhelpful, judgmental one-liners then fuck off again. I saw such posts described as "bitch plops" once which I thought was perfect.

The 'worst thing you have ever done' thread was a bit and . I was quite surprised what people were willing to post TBH.

It looks like the facebook glitter crap thread is about to explode.....bollocks I was enjoying that one 😒

Just moseying through...

Has it kicked off yet? Bunfight at high noon? Handbags at dawn?

Yes its getting all very arsey and bossy here atm. Some people really have had a humour bypass. God knows its getting nasty out there on the real world - we don't need it in here too.

Mavis, that's true. MN should be a place we can relax and chat and get advice and a laugh. Not where we have to watch every word - in non controversial topics

I think its because people are so offended and want to be offended. They go looking for it.
Of course the bigger issue is the middle class lefties who are very good at being offended by proxy. Just because someone somewhere may have possibly been offended by your completely inoffensive statement I'll call you a fucking thoughtless offensive bitch cunt.. Because I am such a wonderful person.

It will get to a point were there will be nothing to discuss without upsetting someone. We now live in a world were we have no freedom to express ourselves or our thoughts as they may offend someone else. But it's okay...Who needs freedom of expression or thought...