I was in a ward of four, all beds full, for two nights.
The woman next to me was very ill, and woefully neglected by the nursing staff. Who at one point told her off for not feeding her baby when the poor woman couldn't actually move to pick her child up. She'd been pressing her buzzer for ages and nobody came. I couldn't help her as I couldn't move, and her baby was bottle fed anyway and she needed someone to bring it to her.
I couldn't walk, which was why they kept me in. If DH was there to hold onto me, I could shuffle slightly. DS was born with slight jaundice, and we had trouble with feeding at first, so they kept us in.
I'd say that both of us could have done with 24/7 help but I'm glad it wasn't via having men/partners/friends/relatives on the ward with us.
Because the woman opposite me had the most vile thug of a partner, and he was there from 8am to 8pm, mostly I think so he could bring in their other children with him and not have to take care of them himself alone at home.
They had the TV headphones blearing all the time for the children, phone's going, loud conversations, arguments, him in and out to the car park every five minutes to smoke and coming back absolutely stinking of more than one kind of smoke.
He kept barging through the curtains to get to the sink and every single time he did he came into my space rather than walk around to give me privacy.
And then he threatened a doctor.
All three other women insisted on having their curtains closed all the time when their visitors were there. They only actually opened them when the visitors were gone. I was in the corner furthest from the window but closest to the sink. DS had jaundice and they said he needed natural light, but he didn't bloody get any because of the need for visitors privacy.
The doctor was making his way through the curtain wall and knocked a jug of water, and Dad of the Year was at this throat screaming about how he'd nearly hit the baby. Which he didn't, the baby was in the cot at the other side of the bed when the curtains were opened.
He was itching for a fight, and the poor doctor caught the brunt of his aggression.
I was terrified the entire time I was in there, either that he would kick off again and attack somebody or that DH would say something to him about behaving himself and he'd attack DH.
When he was ranting at that doctor I was expecting two grown men to come crashing through the curtains and fall on me and DS. I was trapped in a chair at the time, unable to walk, struggling to breast feed, terrified that my baby would be hurt by some aggressive fucker who was using the hospital as a day out.
We were trapped, and it was terrifying.
He was not there to support his partner. But if they'd let him stay 24/7 he would have been there. Except for his smoking trips and the visit to the pub over the road.
I should not have had to put up with that man on the ward at any time. He wasn't fit to be there and his partner's right to have her OH with her should not have come before three other women's rights to have a peaceful recovery time with no threats of violence or the stink of cannabis and beer coming through the curtains.
I was longing for 8pm both days I was in there. It ruined my time with my visitors because I was on edge from his behaviour and bad language and threats. If he'd been allowed to stay overnight I would have gone home on that first day, even though we were not ready. I think we probably should have stayed a little longer than we actually did but I was just too scared and upset to stay any longer.