Colleague making remarks about my breasts....

[Weathergames]

Ok I know I'm not being U - more of a WWYD.

Posted about this guy last week - he's a prize prat who is very lazy, unpopular very "David Brent". I feel senior management have been trying to get rid of him for years but he never quite gives them enough rope to hang him with. A fair few of us would not be sad to see him go as he takes the piss and gives our team a bad name.

He is trying to get me to sign something to support his bid to be union rep for my Union and I have politely said no which is won't take for an answer and he actually tried to almost hoodwink me into "just signing this for me" today (luckily I had the heads up from another colleague).

He is married with children as am I - have worked together for 7 yrs so quite "familiar" I guess and I like (pity) his DW.

Couple of weeks ago (just he and I in the office) he remarks on how "huge your tits look" in that top and how he had "never realised how huge they are, how I must get a bad back and how OH is a lucky man" I was shocked and a bit mortified so quickly changed the subject without commenting (hoping it was obvious I was uncomfortable) - I am not a prude but feel uncomfortable around him for the rest of the day.

He tried to open up the conversation again but I didn't engage.

I tried to mention it to my manager but she kind of brushed it aside (her manager hates him and I know is looking for any excuse to get rid of him).

Then today he brings it up again (alone again) and mentions how huge my 16 yr old DDs "tits" also are and again says he hadn't realised how "huge mine were" until "I wore that tight top" (it wasn't tight).

My colleagues want me to take this further (and I suspect nail the final nail in his coffin) but for some reason I feel really uncomfortable about doing this as I feel I should have challenged him myself - but I just felt so bloody awkward I also don't want the hassle and horrible atmosphere of it - and do I want to be responsible for someone losing their job?

He is a manager so well aware of sexual harassment policies.

So do I wait for my next opportunity and tell him or just hang him out to dry

OP you asked WWYD right at the start.

Almost everyone has said you should report it.
Are you going to?

a formal complaint (though that may be the starting point) really isn't good enough.... He should be suspended

Yes, but an employee can't decide that - all that's down to HR and their staff procedures. All the OP can do is report or not report.

I think OP has gone and isn't coming back, and I can't blame her for that.

Me neither.

Don't be unpleasant, carpet.

OneMoreCasualty it should be deleted soon enough

I've got snot more intelligent than you, carpet.

Report and ignore, people.

I managed the first part, Emma!

Re. feeling that one should confront a sexual harasser personally, here's what my HR rep said to the man I accused of inappropriate behaviour when he complained that I hadn't approached him personally first:

^It's not her duty to make sure you don't behave inappropriately - it's yours as an employee and especially as a manager to be able to tell when you're going too far. If you can't do that how can we let you loose on our other staff and our clients?'

She's fantastic!

Also: great job, victim blamers of the thread. Seriously?

Carpet, you , where does it say a top was "low cut"

And rape doesn't happen if a rapist doesn't rape, not because they are wearing a certain rape-proof kind of top, or skirt or jeans.

Does a rapist sit and wait for someone suitably dressed like a rape victim passes by?

No. They rape when they choose to do so.

Go and have a word with yourself.

Evening all
Never a bad time to post a link to our
We believe you campaign or the talk guidelines for that matter.

Impressive! Are you guys on call literally 24/7?!

Seems they have to be! Thanks Olivia

Superrrrr Olivia!

I wasn't going to return to this thread as I felt it got a little extreme - and I am not prepared to post more on here about my circumstances than I feel comfortable doing.

Thanks for the one I have received and thank you to those who have been kind and understanding to me on this thread.

To those who think I am responsible for this persons actions or future actions - I disagree with you but I respect your point of view.

I have reported him today as I did begin to feel very uncomfortable about his (potential) sexual interest in young people and I feel as an adult I need to role model good behaviour and report him over someone more vulnerable who might not have the tools I do and after all I have done nothing wrong.

My desicion was made this afternoon when he said something else even more inappropriate to me and I discussed it with a close colleague and we decided I had no choice and management need to decide if they still feel he is suitable to be around young people with the information I have, and how I would feel if anything further happened to someone else and I hadn't said anything.

Pms not one doh!

Thanks for updating us. I am so glad you reported him. Definitely the right decision. Well done. He should leave you alone now - I damn well hope he does!

Thanks for the update. You did the right thing. He sounds like a complete knob.

Good for you op. It's a brave thing to do but sometimes you have to.