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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I must be the only mum in the country who's never had a night off?

255 replies

VondaRedbush · 21/11/2015 18:28

DS is 2.4 and I've not had a night out/off since he was born. I recently had a milestone birthday and was only able to go out for lunch with DH. Everyone else I know of has, for their birthdays, been out for meals/drinking or gone on whole weekends away.

(The reason I've not had a night/evening off is that I'm the only one who can get DS to bed - he's still breastfed AND we co sleep. I'm becoming more and more fed up with it but can't see a way out. )

So, am I really the only mum to never ever get an evening off??? I'm starting to feel so isolated and socially inept Sad.

OP posts:
UnlikelyPilgramage · 21/11/2015 18:30

Well, there's a fairly obvious solution Wink

Imknackeredzzz · 21/11/2015 18:31

Oh for goodness sake wean him off the breast! He's 2 and a half! There's no need for you to live like this !

gingerdad · 21/11/2015 18:32

And sounds like it'll be years before you do as well.

SoDiana · 21/11/2015 18:32

Why subject yourself to this?
You are somebody's child too.

Savagebeauty · 21/11/2015 18:32

Yes..stop breast feeding and co sleeping!!

seasidesally · 21/11/2015 18:33

well you have kind of made a rod for your own back by being the only one to get him to sleep

if you want a social life or just a life you really are going to have to bite the bullet and change your sons routine

i dont think its healthy for you or your dc to be do dependent

what would happen if you couldnt be there to put him to bed etc

Supermanspants · 21/11/2015 18:34

Stop BF and co sleeping then. Problem solved. Talk about making rod for you own back.

ilovehotsauce · 21/11/2015 18:34

No me too despite all our family living in the same city/next city over. No special reason except no ones offered/said yes when asked. Currently 35weeks pregnant with dd2 I won't be holding my breathe.

Wine
SolsburyHell · 21/11/2015 18:34

Just go out and leave him with your Dh/parents etc, he'll go to sleep.

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 21/11/2015 18:35

Stop breast feeding
Stop co-sleeping
Stop moaning.

You make your bed, you lie in it with DS

Oysterbabe · 21/11/2015 18:35

You can't really complain about it when it's a situation you've created.

MatildaTheCat · 21/11/2015 18:36

There is a way out. You believe nobody else can settle your ds and it probably is true that he settles more easily for you because it's an ingrained habit. I'd really urge you to make changes very soon. Not having any nights off is miserable.

Let your dh do some bedtimes.

dalmatianmad · 21/11/2015 18:36

At nearly 3 he doesn't need to be breastfed, he will get his nutrition from food!

Why are you co sleeping?

Without sounding unkind , you only have yourself to blame for not having a break!

seasidesally · 21/11/2015 18:37

your dc needs his own bed and room

so glad i never co sleeped

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 21/11/2015 18:37

I think you KNOW what the solution is and this is why it's all the more frustrating as you have created it!

Flashbangandgone · 21/11/2015 18:37

You're the only one because you're still breast feeding and co-sleeping at 2 and a half... I think you know the solution... Is there any particular reason why you're still doing this other than it's a habit you've just not broken?

Twindroops · 21/11/2015 18:38

My eldest was about 3 when I had my first night off, but that was because he is profoundly disabled and all my friends and family at the time were scared of him.

YANBU to want a night off and feel like everyone else is, I completely get that, but it seems this is because of a situation you have created? Get him off the boob and out of your bed and bingo, you can have a night off, problem solved.

Awoof · 21/11/2015 18:38

Is there a reason why you are still breastfeeding?
I'm sure he would be fine for a night if you went to the cinema or for a dinner with friends.
I'm spectacularly bad at leaving my dc. I've had one night out in 3 1/2 years and went to a conference over the weekend 2 years ago, but then I love being at home and having netflix and m and s ready meal with dh.

queenofthepirates · 21/11/2015 18:39

No you'll find an army of unsupported single parents out there, coping alone and without a partner. I think you're being a little bit of a drama llama.

mamapants · 21/11/2015 18:39

When mine were younger and needed to bf to go to sleep I'd sometimes go out for a meal after putting them down for the night. Can you do that?
Me and do rarely go out together but have the option of going separately.

Flashbangandgone · 21/11/2015 18:40

ilovehotsauce

That sounds rough :-(. Why don't they say 'yes' once in a while... Seems very mean.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 21/11/2015 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dixiechickonhols · 21/11/2015 18:41

For both your sakes it would be worth getting him to settle for your dh. Ds would have to if you were in hospital or working away.

WheresMyBurrito · 21/11/2015 18:41

I'm a big believer in breastfeeding for as long as the child wants, as long as it is something you want to do.

It doesn't sound like it is something you want to do any more, so why not consider weaning him off the breast?

ApocalypseNowt · 21/11/2015 18:41

I was all ready to come on here and offer sympathy. Was thinking "probably a single mum, no family support, working 2 jobs" etc etc....

I'm sorry but i agree with other posters. This is all your own doing.

Have you tried any nights out? Do you really think your DH is incapable of looking after his own child?

Time to put on your big girl going out pants and get this sorted.