To consider applying for a stressful full time job to escape the stress of sahm!

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

I took redundancy less than four months ago. Seemed like the perfect solution when returning from second mat leave and commuting 3 hours a day, with eldest DD starting nursery school 9-12 mon-fri. The payout was the equivalent of two years net pay by the time childcare and commuting was taken into account, so it seemed a no brainer.I said I wouldn't look for a job but obviously if the perfect well paid, part time,local job ever came up I would apply.

Three months of school runs later, I feel like I am running around like a headless chicken, constantly cleaning the same things over and over, house is a tip, i am forever being wailed/screamed at for ridiculous complaints all day long. Far from the lady of leisure I get called, I am permanently shattered and constantly chasing my tail!

So this morning a friend told me that my perfect job was being advertised where she works. Sort of director level in my field and sector. Definitely not something they would agree to part time, but I could cycle from my house in five minutes so could probably still do morning school run and it would be good career wise. Might be a bit of a step up from my last role, but I think I would have a good shot.

Since she mentioned it I have been feeling elated at the mere possibility, despite previously saying full time would be impossible. It wouldn't be an easy job, but the idea of stressing about things that are actually important rather than having put on the wrong episode of peppa or offered the wrong snack just fills me with excitement.

Aibu to feel like a high level, full time, stressful job would actually be a relief compared to the mundane drudgery stress of staying at home?!

NO!! YANBU!

Go for it. I completely understand the need to escape being a SAHM. It's soul destroying at times.

You cant have it all. There is still this misconception that you can.
I had a high earning job before conception.
I had a child knowing that I would put him first and foremost.
I downgraded.
Consumerism became unimportant.
My child became top priority over me and my needs.

Pinotblush do you really think all parents should work part time?

Many people have well adjusted teenagers - some of them work full time, some don't ...

Don't feel guilty for going for this. It doesn't in any way impact on your ability to be a good mum. You will make that special time to be with your kids. And once you actually add up the time you are busy in the house (e.g. Cleaning, tidying, hoovering, making dinner etc) you probably won't be losing that much 1:1 time with your kids than if you were at work. It's about carving out a time I think to make them the only focus and to REALLY talk or if they are young just be with. You could be at home all day and not really do this. So go for it if that's the right thing for you and your family. Good luck!

By all means work and Im an advocate of that.
What Im not an advocate of is putting your child into any kind of daycare from sun up till sun down to do this.

special time to be with your kids?

when you're bloody knackered from working full time?

err ok then.

Good luck OP, it sounds great.

I have a mid senior role in the public sector and it's great. They really appreciate work life balance and I'm never home later than 5:30.

You can put your child first and work . I have to as lone parent and it gives them more opportunities.
Sending them to school may be putting themfirst t. do you send your child to school pinot or do you home ed ?

I respect your choice to stay home but it doesn't.mean either way is better.

Best of luck. Hope you get it.

When it's a job you love that is so close to home, you just have to give it a go. If you don't get it, you can tell yourself it wouldn't have worked out, after all, anyway! If you get it but aren't happy with it, then you can tell yourself that at least you tried. Whatever way you look at it, it is clearly a job you would like, rather than need, so no huge stress whatever happens - just go with what feels like the right thing to do at the moment.

I work 4 days a week in a senior role. I feel a bit guilty but now my eldest is at school, less so. However I wouldn't stay at home because I want my daughter especially to have a working mum as a role model. Plus I actually quite enjoy using my brain and being an individual not just a mother.

i work full time with 2 DC (1 in P1 and a toddler), I get to work a lot from home and can pop into see them in the day, works for me - trust your gut, PT probably is unlikely at a senior level but you'll get a good amount of vacation and short hours.

Apply, interview and then decide. You don't know how the reality might hit if you get offered the role.

Do you have a dh/ dp that is supportive and will step up?

OP, in my experience, if pinotblush disapproves of something it usually means you should go for it.

When did I say I stayed at home?
I went back to work part time when my DS was in nursery at the age of 3.
I said I was a realistic person who wanted to be with her child, yet work.
I had many an opportunity for a "fantastic" high flying job after that and declined.
Material worth wasnt for me, my child was.

pinot

Me too and it sounds like we share values, but these aren't everybody's values just because they are ours.
The OP stated she was hoovering 3 times a day, not 3 times a week.
I'd be stressed too if I saw being a sahm as drudgery and not enjoying my time with the children.
Some of us love this time with our children, others would prefer to work. We are all different.

Pinot, hope your teenager never turns stroppy and embraces consumerism!

What Im not an advocate of is putting your child into any kind of daycare from sun up till sun down to do this.

That it utterly irrelevant as OP has made it clear that that is not her intention.

I dont like your postings either sometimes gruntledone, I rise above bashing you on another thread though.

Try it OP, see how you go.

Thank you NewLife4Me.

Oh gosh I'm embarrassed for you Pinot .

Good luck with the application OP.

It sounds like the perfect job did come along Op!

I work FT, just one DC though. He's deliciously happy at childcare, I am stimulated and thriving in my full time senior job, and we have money to improve our lives and have fun. Things can change in a nanosecond- it is tough when they do- but I think I have it all and it's incredible. Go for it and see what happens

I agree it's rare for stimulating well paid PT work to come along (well it's never well paid really is it by virtue of being part time!)

I do know what you mean. Having been an SAHM for a while due to redundancy, I really longed to have my old job back! Even so, I'd be cautious about working full-time though because the stuff to be fitted in at home once kids start school is enormous, even if you can out-source the housework.

I found children at nursery the easy bit; they're looked after all day, and fed. Children at school seem to need a lot more from you (at least 5-8 year olds), and the school expects loads from you!

• reading 3/5 times a week
• spellings
• homework
• dressing up days
• parents evenings
• parent reading mornings
• school plays/assemblies/performances to go to during the school day
• requests for help with school trips/craft afternoons/cake bakes

Also, if you work every day, there's no option to swap your days when your kids are sick, or there's a school INSET day, or a teachers strike.

I work part-time now, and my kids do their homework after school on the days I don't work. They'd be too tired to do it on days when they don't get home til nearly 6 then we have dinner.

School is tiring for them, and when school holidays come around my kids are also exhausted by the school holiday club, which is a full-on, all-age experience, where they're often the youngest there. I don't think my kids could manage it every day of the week, they need down-time and time away from the school environment. Unless you've got family nearby who could help you in school holidays at home?

I wouldn't say part-time is perfect. It can be frustrating in work terms, but for the infant school years, I'd say it was the best option for us at the moment.