To consider applying for a stressful full time job to escape the stress of sahm!

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

I took redundancy less than four months ago. Seemed like the perfect solution when returning from second mat leave and commuting 3 hours a day, with eldest DD starting nursery school 9-12 mon-fri. The payout was the equivalent of two years net pay by the time childcare and commuting was taken into account, so it seemed a no brainer.I said I wouldn't look for a job but obviously if the perfect well paid, part time,local job ever came up I would apply.

Three months of school runs later, I feel like I am running around like a headless chicken, constantly cleaning the same things over and over, house is a tip, i am forever being wailed/screamed at for ridiculous complaints all day long. Far from the lady of leisure I get called, I am permanently shattered and constantly chasing my tail!

So this morning a friend told me that my perfect job was being advertised where she works. Sort of director level in my field and sector. Definitely not something they would agree to part time, but I could cycle from my house in five minutes so could probably still do morning school run and it would be good career wise. Might be a bit of a step up from my last role, but I think I would have a good shot.

Since she mentioned it I have been feeling elated at the mere possibility, despite previously saying full time would be impossible. It wouldn't be an easy job, but the idea of stressing about things that are actually important rather than having put on the wrong episode of peppa or offered the wrong snack just fills me with excitement.

Aibu to feel like a high level, full time, stressful job would actually be a relief compared to the mundane drudgery stress of staying at home?!

pinotblush what about your hisband? How much does he see your children? All day like you or is he out earning money?

I think only you have the answer OP
Some people wouldn't work if you paid them a massive salary and prefer to be a sahm.
Others find they don't like being at home with small children.
You have to do what works for you.
However, going from one extreme to the other may not be a great idea. There must be good reason why you said you couldn't do ft work again.
Now this has entered your head why not look for something pt.

Flomplet, mine are currently 1 and three!

Notnob and currantbun, I think part of my fear is that I leave it too long I won't be able to get back in at a senior level, or won't find anything good. The proximity and public sector make me think this is a one off.

To answer pinot's first question, I think this actually IS a middle ground, given the proximity and lack of commute. What I don't think actually exists is senior part time local jobs, so if I don't sacrifice the part time aspect then it will have to be one or two of the other three- something junior or part time with a commute, which defeats the part time object!

I'd do it. I spent nine months being yowled at by DD2 and feeling dreadful for neglecting DD1 - I ended up with high levels of anxiety, hated myself for being a terrible parent and took it out on the DDs. Going back to work saved all of us.

go for it. If it proves too much you can always leave - you won't know until you try, and for a full time post the work/life balance seems pretty good.

I've already started the application! I just started feeling guilty about being so excited about the prospect!

New life, I did look for part time jobs straight after I finished my last job, as and came to the conclusion that part time, senior, local jobs didn't really exist, and that the only senior people with part time jobs probably started full time and dropped later.

Do it - your feeling of elation at the prospect tells you everything you need to know. Sometimes it takes the perfect job coming up to make you push out and go for it.

I'm also just following for inspiration as I've just been diagnosed with PND 6 months after having my second baby, and I know that getting back to work ASAP is going to save my mental health and I feel guilty about it, so reading these posts is helping.

OP, your gut instinct is saying go for it. Listen to it.
What is the worst thing that can happen? You don't like it, or it doesn't work out....so you leave. No worse off, overall.

And what if you love it, find it hugely rewarding, and it kicks off a long term career???
Not commuting far is so good in so many ways. Including being able to pop out for appointments, school assembly etc. without any real impact on your work. Plus you're local in case one of the DC is ill and needs collecting.
[And outsourcing the cleaning is beneficial IMO]
Good luck!

Sounds great OP - go for it !! Use the extra money to outsource the tedious jobs. Being a SAHM is bloody tough and the days can drag terribly. Who knows, if you get the job you might be in a position to negotiate more flexible hours / working from home by the time your eldest starts school.

Get that application in now! You'd be mad not to. Ignore the mummy martyrs, what works for them doesn't have to work for you.

pinotblush some of us actually enjoy working,some of us need to pay a mortgage. You choose to not do that,good for you. I appreciate people have different lifestyles,careers & choices. Seems you don't appear to realise the same.

I think that above a certain level, part time jobs really don't exist. In my sector there are literally none, although some manage to renegotiate to part time when coming back from maternity leave. They are often the first to be made redundant though. Harsh but true.

It sounds absolutely ideal.

Do it.
I have three children and went back to work ft 18 months ago and while it is very hard work (I don't have a cleaner do weekends are a blizzard of washing and cleaning and ironing) it has been really good fur my mental health. I am more exhausted but my mind is occupied and the children are happy with the arrangement.
It's meant that DP has had to be much more involved in their lives and takes on a greater share of the housework.

The downsides - childcare in the summer. Friends seem able to go abroad for weeks and weeks.

Also flexi time is an absolute lifesaver.

To the op who I didn't actually acknowledge (how rude!) yes,apply. Decide what to go if/when you get offered. Good luck!

I have no idea why people are laughing at me, im putting it down to guilt.

I asked a totally relevant question at the time of the first post.

I dont think its ideal to have children and be away from them all day every day as a parent.

There is a middle ground.

If you want and probably need to work then part time is the answer.

I was a single parent and put my child first, I worked to fit round my child, horror of horrors.

It worked for me and I now have a very stable happy teen.

Go for it. I'm excited for you OP.

I have just ditched p/t self employment and SAHM to 2 kids/carer for my disabled son for working full time out of the home.

I absolutely love my job and we are all so much happier.

We have a solid household/family routine, DH and I both have just enough flexibility to be able to do the odd school drop off, finish early on the odd Friday and attend school plays etc.

We have hired a housekeeper for 8hrs a week to do all the boring household drudge that we both hate.

If you want it, go for it.

But pinot how do you know she wouldn't have been stable and happy if you'd worked full time instead ? Or if you hadn't worked at all ? There is no way of telling. You did something that worked for you and your DD which is fab but different set ups work for different families.

Guilt?
If I don't work,we would lose our home,I'd feel pretty guilty about that.
I hated the mum groups,don't feel guilty about that.
I like having my own money,don't feel guilty about that.
Working full time with a demanding job & a child is a juggling act,occasionally I drop the balls,it's exhausting. I don't feel my child has missed out because he's gone to nursery before school. In fact,I suspect school hasn't been the massive transition it seems to be for some reception children.

do it! got nothing to lose by applying. might as well see!

Definitely go for it. You can always quit if it really doesn't work and still have your redundancy money in the bank, whereas this opportunity might not come again. I work FT, have a very well adjusted child, do school drop offs myself and have a job I really like. Being at home would not be right for me - and would have felt like much harder work on that basis.

"I have no idea why people are laughing at me, im putting it down to guilt."

Yeah, whatever.

Thanks all for the encouragement! I probably shouldn't get too excited as then I will be disappointed when I don't get it. At which point I wouldn't start scouring for other full time jobs, it is just that this one is really perfect.

Pinot, it was a relevant question, that I think I have answered- I think this role would be a middle ground due to proximity and family friendly public sector policies. I don't think part time jobs exist at my level of seniority in my locality. So if I insisted on a part time job I would have to drop down a few levels, making childcare financially inviable, and would probably also have to commute, and the time and cost of that would also defeat the object.

Go for it OP, nothing to lose.

Pinot you've been lucky, that's all, don't put it down to parenting and working/sham.

Orangenoodle, I'm fantasising about a housekeeper, that sounds amazing!

Of course. Go for it. Outsource.

Spend lo fly quality time and holidays ane every evening with dc. And by the time they older you may be in position to negotiate shorter hpurs when dc need you more.