To consider applying for a stressful full time job to escape the stress of sahm!

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

I took redundancy less than four months ago. Seemed like the perfect solution when returning from second mat leave and commuting 3 hours a day, with eldest DD starting nursery school 9-12 mon-fri. The payout was the equivalent of two years net pay by the time childcare and commuting was taken into account, so it seemed a no brainer.I said I wouldn't look for a job but obviously if the perfect well paid, part time,local job ever came up I would apply.

Three months of school runs later, I feel like I am running around like a headless chicken, constantly cleaning the same things over and over, house is a tip, i am forever being wailed/screamed at for ridiculous complaints all day long. Far from the lady of leisure I get called, I am permanently shattered and constantly chasing my tail!

So this morning a friend told me that my perfect job was being advertised where she works. Sort of director level in my field and sector. Definitely not something they would agree to part time, but I could cycle from my house in five minutes so could probably still do morning school run and it would be good career wise. Might be a bit of a step up from my last role, but I think I would have a good shot.

Since she mentioned it I have been feeling elated at the mere possibility, despite previously saying full time would be impossible. It wouldn't be an easy job, but the idea of stressing about things that are actually important rather than having put on the wrong episode of peppa or offered the wrong snack just fills me with excitement.

Aibu to feel like a high level, full time, stressful job would actually be a relief compared to the mundane drudgery stress of staying at home?!

Go for it! If you get it and it doesn't work out then you leave. Also, the present guy doing the job may not be making the most of his working time. If he procrastinates, faffs around or whatever he may end up working longer hours to catch up. You won't know until you try! Good luck!

well, maybe the incumbent isn't that efficient in work hours - I'd give it a try, for a set period of 6 months and quit if it really wasn't working out, if it were me. I'm private sector and those still sound like not bad hours for a senior level job with prospects and once you've got a lovely senior job, you could always trade to a more flexible slightly less senior one once the foot is in the door. I've got no commute and doing the odd bit of evening work once the DC are in bed is worth it - mine both get up early so I spend a lot of time with them in the mornings, including drop-offs and it's really Ok, both are happy.

I do think it detracts from my reason for applying though. I was imagining the girls being able to be picked up early every day by me or my in laws, but I think it would be me picking them up at six three times a week and having my in laws get them the other days. And then probably still having to work in the evening, plus an evening meeting till 10pm once a fortnight. Given I started off saying I would only do part time and the attraction of this was that I thought it would be flexi. When I was working in London it was 36 hours and flexitime, but the commute made it more like 50, which is why I said it wasn't workable. This would end up being the same, except I'd have more time dealing with work and less time on mn on the train!

in career terms though, more time at work doing work is going to be better in the long run so although it's the same hours away the benefit to you personally is much larger. I can see your point though, it's so hard to find decent family friendly work that's not a dead-end and what you'll settle for varies from person to person.

Very true manana. I've recently had a similar choice myself and while less time to fuck around on here is a wrench, it does make sense to keep your hours out of the house the same while getting paid more. And don't underestimate how exhausting the commute can be.

TBH OP I think you just tell them if you're accepted that these are the hours you can do, and if the job is going to require more it's not for you. If it's a deal breaker for you of course. Or give yourself 6 months and see how it goes.

Go for it.

I think people underestimate how difficult it is to be a SAHM - it's just one of those things that some love / some don't!

Been lurking with interest. I would say go for it, (having been a SAHM for 14 years).

If you are working through choice rather than necessity then take them at their advertised word on hours, homeworking and flexibility and wait till you are in post to negotiate trade-offs as and when they arise. Remember you can always walk away.

I think you will only know if it will work having tried.

Sorry how about you will have to give up lurking, as I have withdrawn my application. At the end of the day 45 hours and fortnightly evening meetings might indeed be good for a senior post but it is more than I am willing to give while I have a2 and 3 year old and an absent dh. It was hard to actually decide to take myself out of the running as I still like the idea of some aspects. But they made it easier for me by making the assessment process too onerous in the week before Christmas. Had it just been the interview I might have gone on spec. But I would have had to have spent this whole week doing psychometric testing, writing a presentation and attending an assessment day even before the interview. And given I have to pack and organise and prepare to take two small children 5000 miles from here for Christmas the day after I have decided to put the kids first and bow out gracefully.

Sounds like the interview process told you what you needed to know. Good to have even gone this far with the process as you have had the chance to test what is and isn't doable and whether it is worth it. All the best for the Christmas expedition

It's a shame the job ended up not being what you wanted OP, but at least now you know! It seems like you have your head screwed on properly and know what will work for you and your family. If people want to argue SAHM/WOHM debate it's their prerogative, but at the end of the day it's all academic. Each job comes with pitfalls and perks so just take it on a case by case basis and cherish the time you have with your little ones now even if the constant hoovering makes you want to scream!

Enjoy having a lovely assessment-centre-free Christmas with your family, and I hope a job comes along for you in the new year if that's still what you want