To consider applying for a stressful full time job to escape the stress of sahm!

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

I took redundancy less than four months ago. Seemed like the perfect solution when returning from second mat leave and commuting 3 hours a day, with eldest DD starting nursery school 9-12 mon-fri. The payout was the equivalent of two years net pay by the time childcare and commuting was taken into account, so it seemed a no brainer.I said I wouldn't look for a job but obviously if the perfect well paid, part time,local job ever came up I would apply.

Three months of school runs later, I feel like I am running around like a headless chicken, constantly cleaning the same things over and over, house is a tip, i am forever being wailed/screamed at for ridiculous complaints all day long. Far from the lady of leisure I get called, I am permanently shattered and constantly chasing my tail!

So this morning a friend told me that my perfect job was being advertised where she works. Sort of director level in my field and sector. Definitely not something they would agree to part time, but I could cycle from my house in five minutes so could probably still do morning school run and it would be good career wise. Might be a bit of a step up from my last role, but I think I would have a good shot.

Since she mentioned it I have been feeling elated at the mere possibility, despite previously saying full time would be impossible. It wouldn't be an easy job, but the idea of stressing about things that are actually important rather than having put on the wrong episode of peppa or offered the wrong snack just fills me with excitement.

Aibu to feel like a high level, full time, stressful job would actually be a relief compared to the mundane drudgery stress of staying at home?!

Well you'll still have the stress when you go home won't you, meaning you'll have stress at work then at home which will add to your problems, not mimimilize them.

bedraggled - the job sounds perfect. You are lucky such a perfect sounding job is available so close to home and would be utterly mad not to go all out for it.

Good on you bedraggled. I really hope you get the job as it sounds perfect for you.

*What is it with the world where the vital job of looking after little human beings is deemed less important than any job that we do? sad

Work if you want, but please don't say that looking after young children is not important. The Early Years are very important to a child's long term future.*

Ohyeahmama, I am absolutely not saying the early years aren't important, I was referring to my two screaming at me over ridiculous things like not being allowed a sweet, or made to put their shoes on, or me letting them watch peppa in the vain hope of five minutes peace only for it to be the wrong episode! Those were the unimportant things, not raising the children!

Do what you like but don't be surprised if the job is much harder than Sahm.
That's been my experience ( I had three under three and being at home was a breeze compared to my paid job )

Sorry bold fail

Lighthouse, I think the child stress is cumulative. When I have been away from them for a while I miss them like crazy and am much more tolerant of their tantrums. Whereas when I am in the thick of it they wear me down and that is when it stresses me out.

Pinot.

I'm very curious to know which part of the public sector has jobs at director level that are just 9-5. In my neck of the woods seeing 2 parts of the public sector, I see those at director level being required to attend early morning meetings to meet with clinicians and evening meeting to meet with public / councillors etc.

I'd say go for the job, but there's no such thing as a 9-5 director level job in any sector so be prepared.

Pinot is coming across as sanctimonious and obviously rubbing people up the wrong way. But there is a point in there.

To me, it does sound like you're making a knee jerk change op. You're bored and frustrated as a SAHM (as would I have been long term!) but you're jumping into the complete polar opposite to a full time role, thinking it will make your life easier...which I highly doubt tbh.

IME working full time only gets more difficult as dc get older. They're not babies and toddlers that can stay in one place all day playing (cm's/nursery etc) and you pick them up and that's it. There are after school and weekend activities to take them to, 100 different sports kits to wash, pack, remember, forms and trips, homework and reading, parents evenings and plays and musical instruments to practice and 1001 other things that just take time and effort and headspace. And that's just the kids stuff, never mind general cleaning/cooking/shopping and God forbid any time for hobbies or 'you' time.

I've been doing overtime for the past month (for December payday!) and working about 50 hours a week and I've been bloody miserable tbh. It's just too much to cram in. I don't have a second to myself and neither does dh because he's had to do a lot more that I usually get done on my weekly day off (I usually work PT, four days a week, he works FT).

It can be done, of course it can...but working FT is not ideal IMO and I thing you're looking at things through rose tinted glasses. Personally I would be looking for a middle ground and more PT hours, not going from one extreme to another.

I am a realist.
I believe you put children first or why have them.
There is a win win situation where a parent works part time.

You know that and being in denial is making you spiteful.

Pinot, which part of the post you are querying don't you understand?

I do agree it gets harder to work full time as your children get older.

Was having this conversation with a friend this week - her dc are 18, 16 and 13. She wants to cut her hours because she finds it so unmanageable.

That has nothing to do with op's circumstances though.

I came on to the thread to say that you cannot have children and expect to be able to put them into care from 7am until 7pm and not expect that to have an impact on them

Why do you keep saying that, pinot, when OP never suggested in her original post that that was her intention and has since made it very clear that it isn't?

I have a senior part time job, it can be done

And yes it does get harder once they're at school but it's still achievable

Pinot, can I just check, you have 1 child and he's 17, is that right?

Gruntled one, the fact that you posted:

"in my experience, if pinotblush disapproves of something it usually means you should go for it"

made it personal.

It was a nasty thing to say. Hence I think you are a nasty piece of work.

I will not reply to anything you say however you try to pull this around and forget that it was said.

I'd also argue that as children get older you really need your own life / job / relationship (delete as appropriate) as they do leave eventually

I totally agree with SummerNights

Even though I haven't done this myself the points raised are exactly the same as I hear from friends and family who have.
Children definitely need much more of your time as they grow older. It also has to be said it can put a huge strain on your relationship and ime, but admittedly only my own experience, far more of my divorced friends cite this as the reason their marriage failed, than other reasons.

summertime - stick your passive aggressive flowers where the sun doesnt shine

far more of my divorced friends cite this as the reason their marriage failed, than other reasons

I can well believe that tbh. This past month, dh and me have been like passing ships. And when we are together, we're too exhausted to do anything decent like talk because we're both just zoned out from the constant slog.

OP, it sounds like the perfect job. Local is the way to go because it's the commute that is the killer with a lot of jobs. But finding a local job that is still interting can be had depending where you live and your industry, DH spent yeaers looking for his current job.

DH recently started a new job. He swapped from working PT (4 days per week but with some flexibility to work from home BUT he had a minimum 2h commute normally) to working FT but in our town so he has a short cycle to work. His new job has a generous flexitime system and he is able to do the school drop off every day, attends all the class assemblies, sports days etc and can sometimes do pick ups (I usually do pick ups). He's at home more than he was before despite working more hours (because there is no commute) and we're saving a fortune because he doesn't have a season ticket anymore and we don't need childcare in the morning. It has transformed our lives and he is so much happier than he was with a long commute.

GO FOR IT!

If OP gets the job and dislikes it, or the working conditions, she can just leave! No problem.

Hey, if I had that kind of enthusiasm for work, I'd be delighted! It's great when people are that excited about a job. I say go for it and good luck. I heard a teen lad talking to a mate on the bus about his mum's career, I smiled to myself because he was clearly so proud of her, it was sweet

Definitely apply for the job, if you get it and don't like it you can resign unless you're joining a cult! You'll never know if it will work until you try it. You have inlaws 2 miles away who will cover after school for the nights you're late. Your dc will probably enjoy spending time with them don't hardship there. Use your salary to outsource the boring stuff, housework etc.

Your dc will be much happier with a mum whose enjoying her job than with one who hates being a SAHM.