to think if my 4 year old wants me to take him to his classroom that shouldnt be a problem?

[firefly78]

he's 4 for goodness sake. he loves school and if he wants me to take him to his classroom door rather than go all the way in on his own i dont see why that's an issue. Teacher shouted over to him today saying "come on ds otherwise mummy will have to leave you at the gate". Its irrationally upset me. silly I know but i think they are still so little. Hes coped brilliantly with school, loves reading etc and we have just had a great report. he has an older sibling at school who runs in happily. Oh amd im most definitely not the only parent who does this. He ran in happily before half term cos they got a sticker but dont know so he doesn't see the point! i just think they are still little and i dont know why school tries to make them grow up so fast!!!

Yet you say your not doing everything for them. So what age do you suddenly expect them to start helping?

My word is law, that doesnt mean in a bully.

It does however mean when i say stop my dc stop. Quite handy when youre walking by roads and you need dc that listen.

You don't need to say no brand, just ask them nicely and negotiate with them. Don't worry the passing cars will all stop and wait for the discussion to take place.

So at what age should a child start tidying up, just out curiosity?

Sirzy again that depends on the child, some earlier than others.

Personally as a kid I was never good at tidying (apparently I left a "trail of destruction") but was a really good cook. Swings and roundabouts, they're all different aren't they

You do realise that if you let a child think "I don't need to clean up mummy will" that the older they get the harder that cycle is to break? Why on earth wouldn't you encourage a child to help tidy up? How is not doing so going to help any child?

Sirzy you're on about 4 year olds, barely more than toddlers. Plenty of time for boring crap as they grow up.

Your child is going to have to tidy up after himself in school. There is no choice for him.

Much kinder to get him into a routine of cleaning up after himself at an early age.

But it doesn't need to be "boring crap" it can easily be made fun for children but it's helping them as they grow.

You are coming across very naive on this thread as to what a child actually needs. They need boundaries and to learn right from wrong, they don't need to grow up thinking they are the centre of the universe and can do whatever they want with no worry about consequences,

budgie I'm planning on keeping him off till he's 5, and I'm hoping to work part time myself

Nah, you're contradicting yourself now. You said you were going full time when he was four.

Anyway, same question applies. How are you going to work when your DS needs you by his side all day at school?

What happens when he doesn't want to tidy up, bathe, wash his hands etc. when he's 13?

DS never wants his hair washing, I wonder how long tali thinks I should let him go without it being washed?

Tali, you are coming across like a book of perfection that just won't/can't happen in the real world.

I think if you really do practice what you preach over the next 18 years you'll have created a monster, I really do.

If my almost 3yr old daughter decided when to wash hair she wouldn't have had it washed since she was less than a year.

budgie I'm HOPING to work part time but aware I may have to work full time. I know this won't happen unto DS is at least 4 though.

NK really? My parents did it with me and while you may not agree with me, I'm not a monster, I'm a perfectly functional member of society. :)

There's no guarantee he'd need me budgie anyway, but if he did, it prioritise that and put my job on hold.

Sirzy I don't agree children need boundaries and routine, I think they need love, education, play and freedom.

It's just different parenting styles. I couldn't give a shit how people bring up their kids so no idea why my own opinion is so offensive to you lot.

But your landlord or mortgage can't be put on hold from paying can it.

what if he doesn't want to get dressed or go to bed?

what will you do of he doesn't want a pooey nappy changed?

what about waiting for his turn?

what if by age three he decides he doesn't want out of nappies? or to say thank. you to the nice old lady who gave him. money fir sweets?

what happens of they are both making a fuss. dc 1 because he wants yku to gi to a parents evening and dc2 cos he can't bare you out if his sight?

do you not feed dc2 cos dc1 feels it's unfair?

Tali - I promise I'm not stalking you, but I'm pretty sure you were on another thread talking about your Ex and said your DS was 12 weeks. You don't have a mobile child yet - of course it seems weird to hand them over to others.

My youngest is 2.5, but she is learning "tidy up time" and is old enough to understand that mummy just won't get any other toys out until these ones have gone away. They can learn this sort of thing early, making it part of the daily routine. Don't get me wrong, it still needs a lot of help from me to get everything away, but by school age I would expect a child to be able to tidy away their mess.

My DC1 is one of the oldest in the year, and had been clearly ready for something a bit more than just pre-school from just after he turned 4, sadly had nearly a whole year to wait for school.

It's not an either or! You don't give boundaries or love them! Infact giving boundaries are showing them love as they are helping them develop and understand the world.

I'm only offended by the fact that if all schools had your point of view it would affect my children- I don't want you or anyone else sat in my children's classroom!

I think children growing up that way would make them entitled. I find entitled adults repulsive, personally.

I think children need love, education, play, freedom AND boundaries and routine- balanced.

Given the age of her child at the moment, Tali's views have the supreme advantage of being completely hypothetical!

But Tali says she was raised this way, she called the shots in her house and was never told to do anything, if it had been explained to her and she still didn't want to, she didn't do it.

yy

she clearly has no idea how stubborn or difficult a child can be. and that by the time the have started the crying it easily can be at the point where distractions etc are beyond useless. that even when handed what they want they are so worked up or angry or intent on carrying the performance in they hurl it straight back at you anyway.

Arf at explain to a child too close to train tracks on a tube station reasons why they should stand back. you grab them kicking and screaming if you have too cos the draught along coukd suck them.onto the tracks.

I expect she's going to have one of these kids who's up all night then disruptive at school all day..that's if he ever gets there what with not wanting to get out if bed. ...

Tali You didn't answer my question. You don't work but I do. So should I just have phoned in sick and kept DS2 at home? And, if I did that, and he did the same thing tomorrow, should I let him have tomorrow off as well? And Monday?
You're right that kids are different - DD 13 is super confident and happy to try anything new.
DS1 (15) would literally do nothing but play on his X Box without a bit of a push.
DD decided that she wanted piano lessons a few years ago. I bribed and threatened DS1 into having 5 lessons and said he could stop after that if he wanted. He loved it, is about to do his grade 7 and now plays in a band at school. He plans to do music as an additional A level because he loves it so much. If I'd waited until he was 'ready' I'd still be waiting.