To think I am not 'uncultured' just because I can't use chopsticks

[FargoFGS]

I really should be over this but it's still on my mind.

I went to a Japanese restaurant over the weekend with DP and another couple. I briefly recall DP being on the phone with his friend making arrangements and trying to change the venue but I wasn't too bothered and didn't take any notice - I thought that perhaps he just fancied something else but I now suspect that he was trying to get out of the Sushi place because I can't use chopsticks.

Anyway, his friend must have convinced him or had already made the reservation so thus the 4 of us set of to this restaurant. We ordered. All we and good so far and the food came.

The chopsticks were already laid out on the table so I asked a waiter for a fork and was met with sniggers by the girlfriend of DP's friend. I continued to use my fork (as otherwise I wouldn't have been able to eat anything) and as the conversation went on she made a comment about me being uncultured and that using chopsticks is like riding a bike or swimming. It's just one of those that everyone knows how to do.

I've now got myself a some chopsticks and watching youtube videos on how to use them as I did feel embarrassed but I think she over-stepped the mark.

I was in a restaurant and saw nigella Lawson using cutlery instead of chopsticks. I view NL as quite cultured while this female you were forced to dine with was extremely rude and ill mannered.

oooh I can make do with chopsticks but I have something to ask of all you more knowledgeable Culturevultures....

that china spoon that comes with the rice...is it JUST for serving the rice from the bowl to your plate, or also for eating the rice, because, last time we were out chinesefoodeating I couldn't decide, and some folks at other tables were eating from it and some were not.

(Obv if there is only the one and a single big bowl of rice, it must be for serving, but this place gave everyone their own rice and china spoon and then I was in a quandary! )

She's evidently insecure and felt all superior that she could use them and you couldn't.

Also someone up thread expressed amazement at the number of people not being able to use chopstick is very unaware to!!

It's hardly strange that in a county where the knife and fork is the eating tools of choice.

There's plenty of Chinese and Japanese people who struggle with using knifes and forks.

All different ways of eating are a technic that has to be learnt

tonde
that china spoon that comes with the rice...
Serving and drinking soup only

"I was pointing out that everybody had the capacity to, rather than so many people stating matter of factly that 'I can't use chopsticks'."

No, everybody does NOT have the capacity to use chopsticks, or to learn to. I have at least 2 friends/family with dyspraxia who can't master it at all, owing to their lack of fine motor skills.

^I obviously should have caveat-ed that with a *health issues aside. Apologies.

Tondelaya generally you should have 1 eating bowl, 1 pair of chopsticks, 1 chinese spoon (optional) and 1 small plate (optional).

Rice and scoops of the various dishes are served into the bowl using serving spoons. You then pick up the bowl and shovel food into your mouth. The spoon is a supporting player which you can call upon to help tease out edible morsels (e.g. beheading prawns), slurp sauces/soup etc. If you want to use the spoon to convey rice to your mouth, nobody will mind. The plate is used to spread out your eating debris (e.g. prawn shells, bones). If you don’t have a plate, it is OK to leave food debris on the table. If you do have a plate, it is OK to leave food debris on the table.

I've only got to page 2. And wanted to comment about eating sushi and chopsticks.

Maybe sushi masters want you to eat with your hands. But everyone eats sushi with chopsticks in Japan. I've been there and you will be looked at strangely if you eat with hands or ask for a fork. (There will be no forks). However you are in the UK.

And to the posters who say. can imagine it's very difficult to use chopsticks with certain medical conditions that can affects joints or muscle tone or motor skills. How did the woman know you weren't affected by any of these? Everyone uses chopsticks. Including those with arthritis. And very very old people. I've travelled and worked in east asia, you will not be given forks or knives or spoons. The only spoon you'll get are something like this
www.google.co.uk/search?q=asian+soup+spoons&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0CEgQsARqFQoTCKaJ-oHnl8kCFcGyFAody1YJ7w&biw=1103&bih=586

Why does it make someone lazy if they can't use chopsticks? Isn't it like anything in life- some can, some can't? And what does it matter anyway?

sparechange
I was thinking the same thing. I bet she would ask for chopsticks in a Thai restaurant (whilst the Thai people would be eating with a spoon and fork).

thanks elements and talkinpeace

It did seem it would be a serving utensil, but because there were normal serving spoons in other stuff I wasn't sure!

Gah!! I absolutely hate DP. He thinks this whole thing is a massive joke. I hate when he does this.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude I, of course, owing to my lack of culturedness would have assumed that it'd be chopsticks at dawn!

I'd just repeat: "She's rude." Every time he brings it up. He'll get bored and maybe even get the message!

Using chopsticks is one of the things I want to make sure my children can all do before they leave home. Knowing their way around a cheese board is another.

We are very cultured.

I was in Japanese restaurant with a friend once, she tried to eat the hot towel at the end of the meal. With chopsticks! She is also very cultured.

You're angry because your DP is being disloyal and, worse, you suspect he is ashamed of you.

Add to that the fact he joined in with the laughing at you, I'm not surprised you're still mad at him.

Mine will be taught conversational Mandarin and how to crochet a doily.

We are very cultured.

Sushi is finger food

Regardless - basic etiquette is not to comment on how others eat. This is simple and no one needs a bloody copy of Debrets!

I used to live in Tokyo. As a PP already stated, sushi should be eaten with fingers in general...

But irrespective of that, anyone using the term "uncultured" to another (in front of them) is just appallingly rude.

Your DP also deserves a poke with chopsticks for being an arse too.

The lot of them should have been grateful for having your lovely company

So she got drunk and started blithering on about how you were doing things wrong?
She should be ashamed of herself.

I would have told her that she had had too much to drink and offered to call her a cab.

Uncultured?
Are you Japanese? Is it your culture?
I can use chopsticks, but I remember a Nigerian friend inviting me and a couple of others to a traditional feast. He was in hysterics at our attempts to eat the food appropriately with our hands, as was culturally expected.
The difference being that we were all friends, and no one was embarrassed or felt ashamed. He found a lot of English customs tricky.
It's very uncultured to snigger at someone who isn't managing as well as you, especially at the dinner table. The Queen never does and is known for her willingness to make people feel at ease. She's very cultured.

so I asked a waiter for a fork and was met with sniggers by the girlfriend of DP's friend.

I can use chopsticks but always ask for a knife and fork.

Why? Because chopsticks are STICKS!!! Cutlery is a sign of a civilized and developed society. Chopsticks are retrograde. They are a step up from eating with your hands. Someone invented a knife and fork - FFS use them.

Fair enough if in China (when in Rome) but you are not in China!!!

I don't want to eat a whole piece of sushi in one greedy gobble and it is well nigh impossible to cut sushi in two without a knife.

The only good argument I've ever heard for using chopsticks in the West is that it makes you eat more slowly and hence think about what you are eating. Beyond that all this "culture" stuff is pretentious rubbish - and wrong.

Why would you try to start a fire with a flint when someone invented a lighter? Same principle.

How rude of her!! I can't use chopsticks either, nor can I swim or ride a bike. Obviously there's no hope for me

I can't use chop sticks and CBA to learn either.