To think I am not 'uncultured' just because I can't use chopsticks

[FargoFGS]

I really should be over this but it's still on my mind.

I went to a Japanese restaurant over the weekend with DP and another couple. I briefly recall DP being on the phone with his friend making arrangements and trying to change the venue but I wasn't too bothered and didn't take any notice - I thought that perhaps he just fancied something else but I now suspect that he was trying to get out of the Sushi place because I can't use chopsticks.

Anyway, his friend must have convinced him or had already made the reservation so thus the 4 of us set of to this restaurant. We ordered. All we and good so far and the food came.

The chopsticks were already laid out on the table so I asked a waiter for a fork and was met with sniggers by the girlfriend of DP's friend. I continued to use my fork (as otherwise I wouldn't have been able to eat anything) and as the conversation went on she made a comment about me being uncultured and that using chopsticks is like riding a bike or swimming. It's just one of those that everyone knows how to do.

I've now got myself a some chopsticks and watching youtube videos on how to use them as I did feel embarrassed but I think she over-stepped the mark.

[FargoFGS]

Would I look entirely ridiculous if I were to phone her and tell her what a twat she was that night? I think so. But I still kick myself for not having a smart reply come immediately to mind.

[mellicauli]

She feels so bad about herself that she needs to assert her superiority through her competence using chopsticks. Don't you feel sorry for her?

[ChunkyPickle]

Go Malaysian next time OP - spoon, plus either fork or chopsticks - both are totally acceptable and authentic.

[CarShare]

Why on earth would anyone care who can or can't use chopsticks? Madness. Hope your DP improves on his calibre of friends and stops making you socialise with nobs.

[MuttonWasAGoose]

I can use chopsticks. From what I understand, to really use them correctly you do things like hold the bowl right under your chin and do a bit of shoveling. Attempting to eat in the way Westerners do, bringing tidy mouthfuls up to your mouth from the table, does make it unrealistically difficult.

[reni2]

No, I wouldn't call her. I would ask her not to be as rude as last time should she start sniggering at something else some other time. I would also ask my dp not to join in with the thigh slapping hilarity at my cost next time.

[talkinpeace]

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Go for mexican next time but order sloppy fajitas, having pre practised how to fold the tortilla so it does not leak

[SomedayMyPrinceWillCome]

I've always thought that the "proper" way to use chopsticks was to bring the dish close to your mouth & then use the chopsticks to almost "scoop" the food in. That's certainly what I've observed a lot of Chinese families doing when we eat out. The way we (westerners) use chopsticks seems not to be authentic.
Am I imagining this?

[FargoFGS]

ThumbWitchesAbroad I should have responded to you in the same message I sent to diddl. Yes I did mean that DP and his friend found her hilarious. He does have redeeming features but I often find myself getting angry that he brushes off things that I care about as me just needing to get a grip. I'm not particularly easily offended but the weekend just threw me.

[TheComforter]

badtime - your Mum is the same age as me then. And she could learn - I was pointing out that everybody had the capacity to, rather than so many people stating matter of factly that 'I can't use chopsticks'.

I understand rural lack of exposure in your mother's case, but that isn't something the OP is contending with.

[FargoFGS]

reni2 As it stands I'd quite happily never see her again, though I'm sure that's a slight overreaction on my part. DP won't be told anything other than 'it was a great night out'.

[talkinpeace]

someday
Indeed, Chinese people have a small bowl of food that they hold and lift the food closely from bowl to mouth
I like using chopsticks as they make me eat more slowly but not knowing how to use them is an irrelevance

[sparechange]

Pleeease can you arrange to see her again, and go to a Thai restaurant?

I bet she is one of those horrendous people who asks for chop sticks in a thai restaurant...

[reni2]

Well, there's your answer then, next time he suggests going out with them you say no thank you, she was rude and you three laughed at me, so I didn't have a great time with them, enjoy your meal, dp, I'll go out with some friends.

[GruntledOne]

Next time you meet up with them, find a way to talk about the previous meeting and comment on how staggeringly pissed she was to the extent that she was amazingly rude which, of course, you know she would never be normally. Include a tinkly laugh or two and a head tilt.

[TheElementsSong]

Mutton and Prince - yes, you've got it right (at least in terms of Chinese table manners, don't know about the most correct way for the Japanese or Koreans). If it's rice, it is fine to pick the bowl up and shovel. If it's noodles in soup, it is fine to slurp. If there is a piece of meat on the bone, nobody will be if you swizzle it around inside your mouth stripping off the meat, then spit the chewed bone out onto the table

[PurpleGreenAvocado]

I think you should immediately learn to use chopsticks, it's by far and away the done thing so you can poke her in the eye with them next time she is so rude

[diddl]

I'm sure many could use chopstiks if they try.

For me I don't use them enough to ever be proficient.

Unless I'm offending someone by not using them, I'd rather enjoy my food!

Is it offensive to eat food from another culture with different "cutlery" to that culture?

[Sansoora]

I cant use chopsticks. They just dont work out with my dodgy eyesight. If I try to eat with them whilst wearing my glasses I drop food everywhere. And if I try to eat with them whilst not wearing my glasses I drop food everywhere. Everywhere can mean down the front of my top and it can also mean all over the side of my plate depending on whether my glasses are on or off.

I always ask for cutlery.

[Hygellig]

She sounds very rude. I can't use chopsticks but I hope no-one would comment negatively on it.

[hellsbellsmelons]

I can't use them.
Many many people have tried to teach me but I just can't do it.
People in Thailand and chinese people but to avail.
They always give up trying.
I just use cutlery, somewhat like Lady C, don't you know!

[YoungGirlGrowingOld]

What a bitch - I would have told her to Fork Off

My one and only attempt to use chopsticks ended with chili sauce under my contact lens at a client lunch. Nothing but nothing could be more embarrassing than that, so I am firmly in the "eat everything with cutlery" camp. Nobody has ever been as rude to me as your "friend". She must be deeply insecure and a total bitch

[randomsabreuse]

She's very rude to judge. I like chopsticks because it slows me down so I don't get quite as overfull as I do eating takeaway with a fork at home!

Far too greedy for my own good.

Admittedly I find the bowl/chopsticks combination easier to deal with for rice than the plate/ fork option!

[TrollTheRespawnJeremy]

She's the uncultured one for eating sushi with chopsticks.

Hold your head high OP!

[MusicalFanjo]

Gosh I've never even held chopsticks. How's that for uncultured?