To give my DC my surname?

[GummyBunting]

This is a hypothetical situation really, but my OH and I have decided to TTC in the new year. Whilst chatting about the specifics, I said that as we are unmarried, I would want the baby to have my surname.
He was not happy. He wasn't overly mad or angry or upset (he's not the type) but I could tell it really took him aback. Is it a really weird request? And AIBU to actually dislike the assumption that babies will automatically get their father's name?

To avoid a drip feed:

• I've always said I'd prefer to be married before having a baby. It probably isn't going to pan out that way now which isn't the end of the world, but I've always been honest about my preference.
• We do intend to marry at some point.
• I have a double barrelled surname. Please don't suggest I triple barrel, poor child.

Did anyone give their child their own surname? How did it go? Did the Dad mind?

I don't think I am dismissive to women in general

But you are. You've written off all woman. If girls don't count, and you never made any female friends, then how do women suddenly start counting too?

And how do you tell your daughter that she counts?

libraries well you could always use your maiden name when you want. My DM uses hers socially, and flips between the two names. As long as you are not trying to defraud anyone it's quite ok.

by sending her to a girls school so she could do science practicals without having equipment taken off her by the boys...who would automatically assume they were running the show! bertrand

Hive - I don't think I'd use both. I'd rather have one name and have part match the kids. Seriously consider using a double barrell when I return to work though (Sahm planning a career change when I return)

Do you gave any other suggestions? bertrand

Please tell me your on a wind up, hive, because if you aren't you have one of the weirdest life views I've ever come across.

Failing that, you definitely attend a very unusual church...

Why because I use the title Mrs? Got married and changed my surname.?

Or because I don't really have many female friends? I'm quite introverted I suppose so wouldn't really look to make friendships particularly. I say hello at the school gate, and might even chat! But if I'm asked to join you on a social date I would run away

I am possibly odd, weirdo perhaps. You'd not be the first to call me that, and I expect you won't be the last.

No, because you've sent you Dd to a.girls school so the mean boys won't steal her science equipment....

"sending her to a girls school so she could do science practicals without having equipment taken off her by the boys...who would automatically assume they were running the show!"

I went to a mixed school and managed to do science without the boys taking my equipment! Most girls do, I imagine.
Your version of normal is very skewed. Your upbringing was sexist and your way of dealing with that now is strange, to say the least.

Our daughters husband took our name when they married. He'd never met his own father and had no particular affinity for his name, so asked us if it was OK.