To give my DC my surname?

[GummyBunting]

This is a hypothetical situation really, but my OH and I have decided to TTC in the new year. Whilst chatting about the specifics, I said that as we are unmarried, I would want the baby to have my surname.
He was not happy. He wasn't overly mad or angry or upset (he's not the type) but I could tell it really took him aback. Is it a really weird request? And AIBU to actually dislike the assumption that babies will automatically get their father's name?

To avoid a drip feed:

• I've always said I'd prefer to be married before having a baby. It probably isn't going to pan out that way now which isn't the end of the world, but I've always been honest about my preference.
• We do intend to marry at some point.
• I have a double barrelled surname. Please don't suggest I triple barrel, poor child.

Did anyone give their child their own surname? How did it go? Did the Dad mind?

"POSSIBLY grin"

Yep. Bit rubbish this feminist dictatorship, isn't it?

I'd love to run a feminist dictatorship actually. I'd be a benevolent leader

Just on an aside, something is going to have to change soon.... I just heard a colleague talking about data protection....and Mothers maiden name...

With the way things are going (this is neither a positive or a negative statement, just an as-is statement) this is not going to work as well soon

so ms smith, can i have your mothers maiden name "smith"..... hmmm

The point is bertrand is that you would refuse to address me in a way I would like, because you didn't agree with it.

My argument it that my freedom to express myself how I see fit, trumps your desire to impose how you would wish to address me.

I will not collude with you in your oppression.

And what would you do in your feminist benevolent dictatorship?

I would outlaw Mrs John Smiths
Just kidding. Obviously.

I'd donate the Mrs John Smiths to the British Museum.

Mitzy Along with all the Christian names

I hardly think I am oppressed.

in fact I only ever feel uncomfortable in the company of women! But I don't think that's oppression.

Why do you feel uncomfortable in the company of women?

Well l have always found them bitches.

Never had femalie friends at school, had male friends, didn't even have a girl to be a bridesmaid. Had to have a male friend instead!

Love beating the boys. Girls just never counted. So I never noticed them really.

I preferred not to socialise with them, I had so little in common.

'Girls just never counted. So I never noticed them really'

Where to begin!

Do you have any daughters?

God you sound delightful. Half the population not worth noticing.

I knew a girl just like you at uni. She wasn't nice person.

Girls just never counted. So I never noticed them really

Yes, that is very clear in your posts and your support of society thinking the same.

Hideous attitude.

I'm disgusted on behalf of all the amazing women I know.

Girls just never counted

Do you think your misogynistic attitude might be one of the reasons you didn't even see yourself as worthy of your own name?

Well I never fitted in really. I don't wear make up, heels or stuff. So I always felt uncomfortable round women.

I came from a large family of boys and was taught to beat them.

So no I didn't want to play at the same things as the girls, as a teenager I was busy building a trike, not sure what the girls were doing.

It felt such an achievement to beat boys somehow. I suppose thinking about it I was often the only girl in the class.

I think head is on a wind up. 'Mrs John Smith' nobody would do that.

It's like watching a therapy session happening in front of you...

I can't even start on what's wrong there with your assumption of what "girls" are interested in.

Sounds like fake has hit the nail on the head.

No seriously, it is not a wind up.

I just found I gravitated more to boys than girls at school. No girls came to computers!

And I found the girls falling out with each other and the bitchyness oh my. I found it difficult to deal with.

And yes I have daughters!