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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with DP for saying I love you too much?

357 replies

hotlinesling · 09/11/2015 22:12

Every single time I catch DPs eye he tells me he loves me and/or kisses me. Every single text message he declares his love. In person, if I don't reciprocate he says 'I do...I do...' repeatedly until I say it or - more usually - change the subject. The most annoying one is in the morning. He leaves for work an hour before the dc and I need to get up. He can't help himself and always has to whisper I love you before leaving. This 9/10 times wakes the baby. Am I being a heartless cow for wishing he'd stop or am I right to be annoyed?

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 09/11/2015 22:14

That would be too much for me, it loses meaning surely if it's said that much, but Im also the least romantic person in the world!

MillionToOneChances · 09/11/2015 22:17

Whispering and waking you an hour before your alarm is stupid and selfish. The rest is sweet.

IndiaRaine · 09/11/2015 22:17

Lol no. I was a bit sick in my mouth just reading your post Grin

TwoTwoOneBravo · 09/11/2015 22:17

It sounds a bit needy TBH. Have you asked him why he needs this constant reassurance? Because he's not just saying it because he wants you to know, is he? He says so you'll say it back?

WheresMyBurrito · 09/11/2015 22:18

Nah, YANBU. I'd feel suffocated by that.

Original poster
hotlinesling · 09/11/2015 22:18

Sweet, really?

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

"I love you"

Just answer the fricking question!!

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/11/2015 22:21

Being that needy sounds annoying, not loving.

scribblegirl · 09/11/2015 22:21

I'm very big on saying 'I love you' - for example, I really hate it when DH leaves for work without us having said it (convinced that'll be the day he goes under a bus and I forgot to tell him I love him!!) but even I find that a bit much.

Is he quite insecure? Have you spoken about it?

CocktailQueen · 09/11/2015 22:21

Eurgh... Really needy and off putting. Has he always been like this? Have you discussed it with him?

CFSsucks · 09/11/2015 22:22

YANBU! This would drive me up the wall.

DH says it a lot but not on this scale thankfully. I hate being 'forced' to say it back because then it seems like it's not sincere.

I remember DH did this one evening. I counted 22 times in 20 minutes. It was very annoying. I get annoyed when asked if I'm Ok too much as well, yes I'm sitting MNetting, I'm in the room and look fine typing away, I don't need checking that I am Ok!

Littleallovertheshop · 09/11/2015 22:22

Everything else is too much but the morning thing makes sense.

daisychain01 · 09/11/2015 22:23

Sounds weird to me but maybe it's the way you are describing it. I don't suppose he thinks he's being weird but he is, sorry

AnyFucker · 09/11/2015 22:24

yuk

ConsciousPilot · 09/11/2015 22:24

What's he like in bed?

OurBlanche · 09/11/2015 22:25

We may be married to the same man (which may explain why he reminds himself us me so often Smile )

Currently we are going through a phase of emphasising one word: I do love you

I have asked who has disagreed with him, who he is trying to convince? Apparently it is me! He knows it is annoying as he often rolls this one out: I love you, sorry, sorry.... I love you.

After 30 years of it you'd think I'd have got used to it. Sorry, OP. It remains irritating Smile

Cloppysow · 09/11/2015 22:27

Meh. Until he woke the baby.

OurBlanche · 09/11/2015 22:28

Oh and we have the numbers game too.

I complained that he always left me with the very lame "Love you too"... so now he adds - yes, you've guessed it - "Love you three, four"

But he can't control his competitiveness, so ends up loving me infinity to the power of n!

We watched Tangled(?) and he looked expectantly at me, presumably waiting for "I love you most"... and then chickened out of using it when I told him I would emasculate him whilst he slept if he dared utter it Grin

BillBrysonsBeard · 09/11/2015 22:29

My DP isn't quite that 'bad' but he does say it about 8 times a day! I maybe respond twice, other times just smile.. He knows I don't need to say it as much! I'd probably never say it if it was upto me.. Blush Not all men are emotionless and not all women are slushy like the stereotype says! That sounds really overwhelming OP.. In a way it's great that he looks at you and feels a rush of love, but would be nicer if he kept it in his head and gave you loving smile instead. It does feel a bit meaningless when it's repeated.

LimitedSedition · 09/11/2015 22:30

If my DP said 'I love you' to me, my reply would be 'What have you done?'

A man of few words, bless him.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/11/2015 22:31

That would annoy me. it's one step down from pissing on you tbh

Weathergames · 09/11/2015 22:32

I feel the most insincere men do this.

BIL who is constantly unfaithful to SIL while she is blissfully ignorant and OH when he was having an affair.

Not saying that's what happening but I always wonder about what they aren't saying.

Morganly · 09/11/2015 22:34

Must be a fucking loud whisper to wake the baby 9 times out of 10. He sounds deranged.

catfordbetty · 09/11/2015 22:34

That would annoy me. it's one step down from pissing on you tbh

Let's hope the OP's partner doesn't take things to the next level.

AnyFucker · 09/11/2015 22:34

In my experience the ones who spend most time doing this faux romantic shit are the first ones to transfer their "affections" elsewhere

Something repeated so often loses its meaning, so I guess it is easily offloaded when it suits

FeelsLikeHome123 · 09/11/2015 22:35

Is he one of those sickeningly annoying people on Facebook declaring how great you are and how loved up you are?! If so, LTB op Grin