to be annoyed with DP for saying I love you too much?

[hotlinesling]

Every single time I catch DPs eye he tells me he loves me and/or kisses me. Every single text message he declares his love. In person, if I don't reciprocate he says 'I do...I do...' repeatedly until I say it or - more usually - change the subject. The most annoying one is in the morning. He leaves for work an hour before the dc and I need to get up. He can't help himself and always has to whisper I love you before leaving. This 9/10 times wakes the baby. Am I being a heartless cow for wishing he'd stop or am I right to be annoyed?

I'm exhausted just reading this thread.

CFS mine used to do the "you alright?" too, everytime I walked into the room.. It drove me nuts! I'd go in the kitchen for 2 mins, come back.. "How ya doin?"
"I'm still fine!"

AnyFucker it's not faux romantic shit though, it's overwhelming love that her DP feels for her so he expresses it.. just a little too much. Yes sometimes the ones who over-do the material romantic gestures can be compensating for something.

In my experience the ones who spend most time doing this faux romantic shit are the first ones to transfer their "affections" elsewhere Something repeated so often loses its meaning, so I guess it is easily offloaded when it suits

boom

I would run a mile from someone so needy

When does this sort of behaviour cross over into controlling ?

It's a fine line. I also couldn't get the hots for a bloke who acted like an overgrown toddler "do you wub me, reeeelly, reeellly...."

< shudder >

yanbu, I find that kind of neediness sickening but then my exh needed that kind of constant affirmation and when he didn't get it he went looking elsewhere. I may be somewhat biased.

He whispers repeatedly unless I respond, which I try not to because I know it'll wake the baby.

He also asks if I'm ok 10000x per day.

And 'what have you got to tell me, then?'
When he's only been out for half hour...!

If he shows you he loves you as much as he says it then I'd say it's annoying but ok.

My exH told me loads that he loved me but it was all empty words.

Well, while it is annoying I (almost) understand why he needs to say it. We have had a nasty time with his family and he is aware that mine are distant, cold, using fuckers.

So he over compensates for both.

It is (almost) his only persistently annoying trait. Except maybe the snoring

But I really do appreciate the warnings that he is most likely hiding an affair, about to dump me, compensating for being a gobshite and controlling me... I shall pre empt his shit and will ltb, first thing in the morning!

(And by 'shows' I don't mean sex, but being thoughtful, considerate etc)

God how did you manage to conceive a baby with this Bell End ?

Have you asked him to leave you alone in the mornings so as not to wake the baby? If so, what did he say?

Some people seem to lap up this crap.

Takes all sorts, I guess

He whispers repeatedly until you respond and wake the baby. He is a stupid, selfish, abusive twat and you need to tell him to stop right now. Tell him to show you that he loves you by never ever waking up the baby. This isn't love, this is something deeply weird.

Op are you my GF?
Names not Nat? Is it? Rofl.

I say love you to my OH ll the time. When she's at work I'll sometimes just txt,
"Love you xx :)"
Or a heart emoticon.

Just a little way to let her know she's on my mind.

I hope she likes it though and doesn't think I'm controlling n such. :(

Gruntled, he's asked what time baby woke. I say two seconds after you whispered next to her ear. He says sorry. Then does it again the following day!

My standard response of 'that's nice dear' doesn't help much with Mrkittyloves -I think it's just attention seeking frankly but then apparently I am a cold heartless bitch

He doesn't want you to sleep longer than him in the morning. If he has to go to work, then damned if he won't wake you too and make you start your day. Only fair, ain't it ?

Why is that not obvious to you ?

There is no other reason for his deliberate disturbing of you and the baby

It's not just the words, it's the physical contact. I elbow/headbutt him regularly because he invades my personal space so much. For example, I'll go to have a drink and he'll be leaning in to kiss my neck and get an elbow in the face. If a child isn't touching me then he is within ten seconds, I guarantee.

Maybe I should start hissing it at him when he's asleep on the sofa by nine

I bet he wheedles for sex too.

Jealous of the attention you give the baby ?

Love isn't a word, it's an action, or rather, a series of actions.

Tell him to stfu and make you a cuppa.

Spot on AF. Though currently he's in the 'aren't I ever so understanding for foregoing sex' phase. While I bf the baby and sort all the other kids and the house too.

DH always used to say "I love you", so I would say it back to him.

In the end, I pointed out he wasn't really telling me about his feelings for me. He was asking me to tell him I loved him.

He has taken this on board, and doesn't do it now.

(Well, he does tell me, but not as much, and he doesn't expect the "I love you too" in return, any more. Sometimes, I even get in first!)

Ugh. What on Earth is going on? How long have you been together, OP? Has it always been thus?