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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed with DP for saying I love you too much?

357 replies

hotlinesling · 09/11/2015 22:12

Every single time I catch DPs eye he tells me he loves me and/or kisses me. Every single text message he declares his love. In person, if I don't reciprocate he says 'I do...I do...' repeatedly until I say it or - more usually - change the subject. The most annoying one is in the morning. He leaves for work an hour before the dc and I need to get up. He can't help himself and always has to whisper I love you before leaving. This 9/10 times wakes the baby. Am I being a heartless cow for wishing he'd stop or am I right to be annoyed?

OP posts:
Weathergames · 09/11/2015 23:44

I believe it's true.

It's not an excuse for shite behaviour though.

Most of them care about 3 things, two of them are sex and food and one other.

They do not want to chew the fat of a relationship, gossip, worry about meals and school pick ups while also working.

They cannot do it.

AnyFucker · 09/11/2015 23:45

The thing is, I don't think anyone should tolerate either abusive or dickhead behaviour

This man is trampling all over OP's wishes, boundaries, personal space and (reading between the well signposted lines) is a lazy twat too

I refuse to make even the smallest excuses for that

like some else said, this isn't "love"

MumOnTheRunAgain · 09/11/2015 23:46

Really Af

Well op, having read your recent thread it sounds like he's trying his best, in his own cack handed way to support/reassure you at this time ( you are waiting for a child to be diagnosed with Sn/speech delay etc) a very worrying time for you both

So if he asks if you are ok constantly then he probably cares!! Poor bloke

Weathergames · 09/11/2015 23:47

I think most men satisfy the basic two levels of human needs for themselves (if we look at Maslow's theory).

AnyFucker · 09/11/2015 23:47

weather could you explain how "men" (as a homogenous group, since you insist) manage to "multi task" at work (for example) then ?

although I appreciate you say this inability to do so because of what they have between their legs is no excuse for crappiness

Weathergames · 09/11/2015 23:49

How do they "multitask" at work?

AnyFucker · 09/11/2015 23:49

MumOnTheRunAgain, I am responding to what she wrote on this thread

it appears you are responding to another thread

Weathergames · 09/11/2015 23:50
  • and I did not mention "what is between their legs".
MumOnTheRunAgain · 09/11/2015 23:50

Yeah, maybe I am? But hey, maybe there's more to this than your man hating theory?

AnyFucker · 09/11/2015 23:51

strangely enough, many men manage to hold down highly responsible jobs

I am just wondering how you would explain that, since you think they have only (three, you say?) synapses Grin

Weathergames · 09/11/2015 23:51

The mistake we make is we expect to be treated like we are the same as men without appreciating the genetic differences.

That's not being equal.

Weathergames · 09/11/2015 23:53

Highly responsible jobs while thinking about what everyone is going to eat and keeping an eye on the time to make sure they collect the kids while also dealing with a client?

AnyFucker · 09/11/2015 23:53

Mum I'm with you all the way there

there is lots more to this than saying "I love you" a bit too much < high five >

ConsciousPilot · 09/11/2015 23:53

You do write in a man-hating manner, AF. I think that's why I can't make my mind up on these types of threads Grin

MumOnTheRunAgain · 09/11/2015 23:53

concious yes he could be on the spectrum. His own child and other child from a previous relationship seem to be both SN

Let's not let that get in the way of a good bashing though, AF has declared him a 'wrong un' and the MN sheep will follow that

ConsciousPilot · 09/11/2015 23:55

Mum, thank you for the illumination there, I think it was needed.

NickiFury · 09/11/2015 23:55

I would want to kill him. Especially during the morning round of "I Love You" that wakes the baby. Honestly I couldn't tolerate it.

AnyFucker · 09/11/2015 23:55

I believe you have it the wrong way round, Weather

You assume men cannot do what women do (as expected by society)

I believe they can

That's not man-hating

LittleBearPad · 09/11/2015 23:56

Op, have you tried talking to him about all this? Is he insecure generally.

Weathergames · 09/11/2015 23:57

I haven't accused you of man hating.

I don't believe that men and women are capable of the same things all the time.

We were built to compliment each other.

AnyFucker · 09/11/2015 23:57

Could we let OP make her own mind up whether her husband has additional needs ?

Not anywhere has she raised it as a possibility or even that she suspects it. I get accused of making shit up, but that's quite a stretch, ain't it ?

Seeyounearertime · 10/11/2015 00:04

Weathergames
Most of them care about 3 things, two of them are sex and food and one other.

Stfu.
I could easily make some sexist BS up about women.

"They only ever think about 3 things, shoes, bags and spending a mans money"

Here I thought the world had moved on and those attitudes had fallen by the wayside. Seems i was wrong. Just tonight I've read this sexist claptrap and in another thread it was obvious that DIY is a man's domain.
Come on? Really? In 2015?
I despair.

Oh also. Whilst typing this ive managed to remember to breath in and out and blink, give me a man of the year award.

MumOnTheRunAgain · 10/11/2015 00:05

Let the op make up her own mind? You mean, stop distracting from what's really going on and go back to everyone agreeing with you! Because they were..... For a while

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 10/11/2015 00:06

The mistake we make is we expect to be treated like we are the same as men without appreciating the genetic differences.

I don't believe that men and women are capable of the same things all the time.

We were built to compliment each other.

Do the world a favour and read Delusions of Gender. Or just something other than the Bible (???) and bollocks on the internet.

MumOnTheRunAgain · 10/11/2015 00:06

seeyou shoes?? No, swap that for boots.... It's Autumn now