hi maybe i am aibu or i need to vent dp rant

[creamponies]

hi just joined today,
been with my dp for 4 years, i do love him but he is a bit twisted. can be quite cold, doesn't really express but he does love me in his own way ish. we have no kids but there are issues in are end.
so my rant is i love holidays yes cant afford them but will scrape any money for it .
oh i love the freedom and seeing new or old places. anyway not by the want of trying i love him to either to "whisk" me away or either go half's or whatevers so in 4 years i have brought him twice. and we had a nice time he had a couple of exs before me and they were usually either dumped him after the holidays or him to them (sick i know).

he always had a decent excuse of why he cant go or book for the last 6 months i couldn't really take time off as i started a course or when he was sick and i supported him he owned me a weekend away at least. we had the conversation we have to do this or that or go here or there and his responses is we will. Well i introduced a timeline i wanted to go away on the bank hoilday weekend in august. and he said he was "looking" for a holiday break i wanted him to book me a place as he be moany and i don't want to go to b and bs either.

the date came and passed said everything is booked out blah blah i forgave him but expressed you have bank holiday weekend in October the week before he said he couldn't do that week as he work things but the week after would be Halloween and you to the weekend away. I said yes of course anything it would have been great us out on halloween together. We dont live together and we rarely have intimacy time together . and i have refused to have it in my house as it was always in my house.

so i kept asking him have you booked it yet? he said to me im still looking. so i said well you want to hurry up and he mentioned about this place and i said yeah i go there where is the hotel? he told it was a b and b and i went to him sorry i dont do b and bs. well at half 3 on friday he told me that he didnt book it and it was all my fault. as he dont do hoildays and i had loads. i said yes but not with my dp im sick of going with my friends i wanted to go with you.
he siad im saving up for a house? im like a house for you but i wont be living with a man that wont or either take me away we havent spoken that weekend spend Halloween on my own. On Monday he rang me and siad i take you away for new year and i said no either you book something for this week or the next but i wont be hanging out with you unless you book a weekend away in the next week or 2. his best offer was a few weeks after Christmas and im like no because you come up with a different excuse by then since then we havent spoken to each other he hasn't even text hello i dont know im running out of patience. how can he be so cold and im like the bad wolf that all i wanted was for him to take me away as i paid for the last holiday

If holidays are important to you, go on your own. You sound like Bridget Tedious Jones, with her endless whingeing about mini-breaks. Some people like them, some people don't: and you should be glad you have someone who thinks planning for his long-term future is important. Plus, he may not want to have sex with his mother in the house?

Are you sure you are old enough to be having a relationship? This is an extremely childish thing to be concerned about imo - and you don't sound compatible at all, either. Really - you've given it four years, it's clearly not working: both of you deserve to be with someone who suits you better.

So you want mini breaks, romance, surprises and a future of sex and intimacy.
He wants a shag and a bit of cheap attention.
You are absolutely right to want these things. He isn't the man to give you those things. You cannot make him into that man. No matter how hard you try.
Please find someone who likes you. Make a list of things you like doing and rate partners against your list. Anyone shagging in a car at 40 is a dogger, unfaithful or weird.

You sound like you have a phantasie version of your relationship, and the trouble is that reality does not match this at all. You need to let go. Before starting to look for a new partner, ask yourself what you really want. The holidays, are they what you need or what you want to show others? You sound preoccupied with other people's relationships and their mini breaks. This cannot be the main thing for you. And I agree with you, sex in a car much post teenage is best kept for special occasions if done at all.