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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

hi maybe i am aibu or i need to vent dp rant

203 replies

creamponies · 09/11/2015 15:04

hi just joined today,
been with my dp for 4 years, i do love him but he is a bit twisted. can be quite cold, doesn't really express but he does love me in his own way ish. we have no kids but there are issues in are end.
so my rant is i love holidays yes cant afford them but will scrape any money for it .
oh i love the freedom and seeing new or old places. anyway not by the want of trying i love him to either to "whisk" me away or either go half's or whatevers so in 4 years i have brought him twice. and we had a nice time he had a couple of exs before me and they were usually either dumped him after the holidays or him to them (sick i know).

he always had a decent excuse of why he cant go or book for the last 6 months i couldn't really take time off as i started a course or when he was sick and i supported him he owned me a weekend away at least. we had the conversation we have to do this or that or go here or there and his responses is we will. Well i introduced a timeline i wanted to go away on the bank hoilday weekend in august. and he said he was "looking" for a holiday break i wanted him to book me a place as he be moany and i don't want to go to b and bs either.

the date came and passed said everything is booked out blah blah i forgave him but expressed you have bank holiday weekend in October the week before he said he couldn't do that week as he work things but the week after would be Halloween and you to the weekend away. I said yes of course anything it would have been great us out on halloween together. We dont live together and we rarely have intimacy time together . and i have refused to have it in my house as it was always in my house.

so i kept asking him have you booked it yet? he said to me im still looking. so i said well you want to hurry up and he mentioned about this place and i said yeah i go there where is the hotel? he told it was a b and b and i went to him sorry i dont do b and bs. well at half 3 on friday he told me that he didnt book it and it was all my fault. as he dont do hoildays and i had loads. i said yes but not with my dp im sick of going with my friends i wanted to go with you.
he siad im saving up for a house? im like a house for you but i wont be living with a man that wont or either take me away we havent spoken that weekend spend Halloween on my own. On Monday he rang me and siad i take you away for new year and i said no either you book something for this week or the next but i wont be hanging out with you unless you book a weekend away in the next week or 2. his best offer was a few weeks after Christmas and im like no because you come up with a different excuse by then since then we havent spoken to each other he hasn't even text hello i dont know im running out of patience. how can he be so cold and im like the bad wolf that all i wanted was for him to take me away as i paid for the last holiday

OP posts:
creamponies · 09/11/2015 15:35

i live with my mother and he lives with his and i do respect my mother its her house and dont like people staying over. and we never stayed in his house it would be in his car. I guess he took his exs to nice hotels and trips abroad and i never really pushed him as i wanted him to "whisk me" but he doesn't want i wanted him to do it for me plus i offered him a few holidays and he says no and i dont know if i wanted to be with someone that constantly says no to holidays

OP posts:
OurBlanche · 09/11/2015 15:36

Oh! I wish I hadn't asked now!

PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2015 15:37

How old are you both?

Manamanah · 09/11/2015 15:37

That post is barely recognisable as English. I have no idea what you're trying to say. I doubt your dp does either.

creamponies · 09/11/2015 15:37

but the problem is he never made an effort. the last time we had sex was in june can you see how frustrated i am

OP posts:
OurBlanche · 09/11/2015 15:37

I can see something...

Enjolrass · 09/11/2015 15:38

Ah so he lives with his mum...which is bad.

And you live with your mum which is fine??

Honestly OP, split up. You will both be happier for it.

catfordbetty · 09/11/2015 15:40

i wanted him to "whisk me"

Some men just aren't the whisking kind, I'm afraid.

MaisieDotes · 09/11/2015 15:40

He's in his 40s? That's too old to be living at home. Unless you are significantly younger than him then you are too old to live at home too.

Perhaps shift the focus of your attention to getting your own place (not with him) and then perhaps your fixation on holidays will subside.

Gruntfuttock · 09/11/2015 15:41

OP, would you please answer wasonthelist's post @ Mon 09-Nov-15 15:23:24, because I want to know too.

creamponies · 09/11/2015 15:42

im just sick of it im sick of his promises and he never delivers it why is it so hard for someone to do somthing nice for me
he was in hospital for at least 6 months and i visited him every day life is hard enough as for the house thing he wanted me to move in and pay half the bills and half his mortage for him and it would be his name and i said no as hasnt even got any notion yet he has it too cozy with his mother

OP posts:
Keeptrudging · 09/11/2015 15:43

Is it wrong of me to be quite impressed that a man in his forties can still manoeuvre himself in a car without putting his back out?

Enjolrass · 09/11/2015 15:44

Is it wrong of me to be quite impressed that a man in his forties can still manoeuvre himself in a car without putting his back out?

Grin
PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2015 15:44
Grin
Inneedofadvice553 · 09/11/2015 15:44

do you both live in England OP?

NoodleNuts · 09/11/2015 15:46

Holiday issues aside, why on earth are you two together? He sounds like a mummy's boy and you sound like a nightmare.

laffymeal · 09/11/2015 15:46

Are you pished OP?

Inneedofadvice553 · 09/11/2015 15:47

SO your living with your parents, your sex life is in a car and you never go out and do fun things?? and have no kids or responsibilities together?

Are you in your fourties too OP?

Why did you stop him from having sex at yours??

Bailey101 · 09/11/2015 15:47

The only things I can figure out from this is that he's saving for a house and that he's spent 6 months in hospital. I love to travel, but either of these things would have me staying at home, let alone both.

Naicecuppatea · 09/11/2015 15:51

I am thoroughly confused. If you have speak like you write then it is no wonder you are both at cross purposes.

Naicecuppatea · 09/11/2015 15:52

Urgh, if you have speak like you write then it is no wonder you are both at cross purposes.

Arkkorox · 09/11/2015 15:52

Erm. What?

Arkkorox · 09/11/2015 15:53

Can't understand Naice either Grin

Manamanah · 09/11/2015 15:54

'ok I have to clarify'. Grin Things are no clearer.

nmg85 · 09/11/2015 15:57

This is surely a joke? If not you seem very self obsessed and very immature. I actually feel very sorry for your OH and would hope that one or both of you would see the sense to end this 'relationship'.

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