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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was the man in the wheelchair BU?

212 replies

VulvaVoom · 06/11/2015 15:24

I'm only mentioning his wheelchair because I guess it's relevant to how people responded to him.

We were in a small cafe in a park late yesterday pm waiting for some child friendly 'fireworks' - it was a laser show thing.

Me my DM and DD got there really early and got a hot drink. A man came in, in a wheelchair that he was maneuvering himself by using his foot.

From a brief chat we had with him it seemed like he could have had something like cereal palsy but obviously I don't know.

When a BBQ gazebo area was set up outside, he left his takeaway drink on the table and went outside. The cafe started to get really busy and a group of people, several mums with about 6 children took the table next to 'his'.

Anyway he comes back in and shouts to the women to move his table back and away from the children as he was saying his drink would get spilled.

The mums were shocked at the outburst but moved the table away for him anyway.

I wouldn't have bothered posting but he did it about another 3 times to other people who dared to sit at his table. Even though he was outside, so it was a 'free' table. He wasn't even particularly nice about it but I noticed people were really quick to move even if their children had just sat down. Should they have? I felt annoyed on their behalf and felt he was being quite rude.

OP posts:

MiscellaneousAssortment · 06/11/2015 20:21

Wow. Saw that one coming but no one bite the first time huh so you went a bit further to get a reaction. Well done you.

So do I 'clearly not need' a mobility scooter as I can occasionally walk a few steps when needed.

Glad to know I'm putting it on.

Dawndonnaagain · 06/11/2015 20:22

Oh, and don't make judgements about which you know nothing.

Caprinihahahaha · 06/11/2015 20:23

I get rammed in the legs by people with pushchairs. The world is full of fuckers. Having a baby is always just an excuse to be a twat.
They think it's ok because they gave birth.
It is so unfair.

IASM · 06/11/2015 20:23

why should they stand behind someone in a huge mobility scooter that obviously didnt need it

Fucking hell. I think you may have lost any possible sympathy with that one statement alone.

Caprinihahahaha · 06/11/2015 20:24

I'm going to get an electric bike. They look great.

IASM · 06/11/2015 20:26

Capirinihahaha how about one of those newfangled hover board things? I mean, if you can stand there's no way you can possibly be disabled so why the heck not?!

Potatoface2 · 06/11/2015 20:26

obviously if it was a child i would have moved, that doesnt mean the children i was with dont have the right to see whats going on....they are small....i paid the same amount to go to the event.....maybe there should have been an area for disadvantaged people...so i deserved to be attacked by this man....great!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/11/2015 20:27

Look everyone. .that horse and bull over there just did a big poo.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/11/2015 20:28

LoL@disadvantaged people

SauvignonBlanche · 06/11/2015 20:30

why should they stand behind someone in a huge mobility scooter that obviously didnt need it

Potatoface2 · 06/11/2015 20:32

there are people who use these scooters that are not disabled....im not on about wheelchairs....there is a woman near me.....rides it about, gets out of it and lifts it over the pavement, uses it as a car....but goes in shops with it.....but she walks her dog around the field runs and throws a ball for it, digs her garden, etc..thats what i mean about anyone can use them.

Caprinihahahaha · 06/11/2015 20:32

A hover board!

I'm getting one of those. Don't you have to disguise them or something because they aren't legal?
I'd do jail time for one of those. I could weaponise it. Like that chariot in Ben Hur, although that didn't end well as I recall.
Maybe I need to think this through.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 06/11/2015 20:33

"there should have been an area for disadvantaged people..."

Fuck yes. Get those freaks away from the normal people, what the hell are they doing out anyway? Don't they feel ashamed to go out? Well why the heck not?oh oh! Maybe they should be forced to wear a badge so everyone can tell them apart from us normal functioning proper people... Like, ohhh, I know, a yellow star?

Sorry. Can't help it. Reacting to the disabled hatred again. I should know better.

Caprinihahahaha · 06/11/2015 20:33

She shouldn't be running around with a ball and digging the garden, that's her dogs job.
Does she think she's a dog? That would be disabling.

Shirtsleeves · 06/11/2015 20:34

Potato, you do realise that some people get out of their wheelchairs and walk too?!

TheFairyCaravan · 06/11/2015 20:36

Didn't your husband threaten to put the man in an ambulance potato? Is that not rude and aggressive?

You and your DH could have stood behind the children, the man could have parked next to them and you could have all had a lovely evening.

Bubblesinthesummer · 06/11/2015 20:36

Oh dear. The fuckwits are out tonight with their tall tales aren't they?

They certainly are

BigChocFrenzy · 06/11/2015 20:38

Maybe that table was the easiest for him to access with his wheelchair.
Maybe he'd had experience of kids charging around and knocking his food to the ground, or spilling his drink - he can't dodge and protect himself as easily as the able-bodied.

I wouldn't feel qualified to judge someone disabled, because I don't know the specific difficulties they have or how they need to compensate.

In his situation, if I were in a wheelchair, I'd find it very difficult to keep cheery and smiling at everyone; if I had to say for the hundredth time that week "Please leave me some space. Please don't knock into me or my drinks"

I am also sort of wondering why was he would be at an event where he knew children would be, particularly if he thought they'd run around etc.... And knock over drinks

I do NOT accept that the disabled should shut themselves away from fun events, just to avoid risky behaviour by others.
It is so much easier for the able-bodied to be considerate and slightly adapt their behaviour.

Shutthatdoor · 06/11/2015 20:39

Potato, you do realise that some people get out of their wheelchairs and walk too?!

^ This. On a good day I can, shock horror, walk a few steps.

potato As the saying goes when you are in a hole stop digging.

Dawndonnaagain · 06/11/2015 20:41

Potato This is Dawndonna's dd. Do you know what, the germans had a separate area for disadvantaged people. There were lots of areas for disadvantaged people in the UK too, right up until the 1980s. There were workhouses, and there were hospitals, and then people grew up and suddenly realised that the only thing disadvantaging people with disabilities, visible or otherwise, was people. People like you. How fucking dare you suggest that I go somewhere else just because my mother paid the same price you did for your children. How fucking dare you assume that your children are in any way anything other than EQUAL to me. How fucking dare you assume that people may not need a scooter/wheelchair whatever because some days they can do something, often something that you can do every day, should you choose, and that some days they can't. Have you any idea how much medication that woman needs to take once she's dug the garden? How long she needs to rest for? How many hours or days it takes her to recover. No. None. It's not your business, neither is it your business to comment on whether or not other peoples disabilities are genuine or otherwise, unless it is a member of your own family AND you have access to their medical notes.

Bubblesinthesummer · 06/11/2015 20:41

there should have been an area for disadvantaged people.

Potatoface2 · 06/11/2015 20:45

the area was crowded....no room to move....he was whacking me with his stick....he was told to stop...he didnt....my husband told him to stop.....should have had the old git arrested....since when has it been legal for the disabled and elderly to assault people....just cos they dont get what they want...if there was any room to move maybe i would have....i was massive/pregnant...trying to not lose kids in a crowd...the man could have arrived early just like we could have moved.....but its all about him isnt it...no other view

Dawndonnaagain · 06/11/2015 20:45

This. Potato.

Dawndonnaagain · 06/11/2015 20:48

Potato. It isn't acceptable for anyone to assault anybody. But, if you cannot see that you are at fault with some of your postings, then you have a serious problem.

Bubblesinthesummer · 06/11/2015 20:48

if there was any room to move maybe i would have

If there was room you should have

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