Was the man in the wheelchair BU?

[VulvaVoom]

I'm only mentioning his wheelchair because I guess it's relevant to how people responded to him.

We were in a small cafe in a park late yesterday pm waiting for some child friendly 'fireworks' - it was a laser show thing.

Me my DM and DD got there really early and got a hot drink. A man came in, in a wheelchair that he was maneuvering himself by using his foot.

From a brief chat we had with him it seemed like he could have had something like cereal palsy but obviously I don't know.

When a BBQ gazebo area was set up outside, he left his takeaway drink on the table and went outside. The cafe started to get really busy and a group of people, several mums with about 6 children took the table next to 'his'.

Anyway he comes back in and shouts to the women to move his table back and away from the children as he was saying his drink would get spilled.

The mums were shocked at the outburst but moved the table away for him anyway.

I wouldn't have bothered posting but he did it about another 3 times to other people who dared to sit at his table. Even though he was outside, so it was a 'free' table. He wasn't even particularly nice about it but I noticed people were really quick to move even if their children had just sat down. Should they have? I felt annoyed on their behalf and felt he was being quite rude.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Fairy I think so.

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

Thank you for proving my point.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Toads. I really don't care. I have had these stupid conversations with you before. Just don't talk to me and I won't talk to you. Problem solved.

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

I'm also not sure why you object to us having our own safe place either. Sometimes it's nice to be in a place where everyone understands you.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

I do believe the last time was also when a goady poster was determined to provoke a bun fight and then you said the same toad, when the goady poster upset people and they reacted.

Just saying.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Why would I object to it. My child has autism.

Seriously just stop speaking to me. You misinterpret everything I say and take offence when none is meant.

Not worth it for either of us.

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

I also never said you bully disabled adults. I just wouldn't want to annoy you in real life.

I struggle socially and i say a lot of stupid things without realising that's what they are.

[Greengardenpixie]

Sounds like an arsehole. People who are disabled are like everyone else and can be arseholes. I knew one. Seemed to blame the world for his disability. Some people, disabled included, are just not nice.

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

I am not offended. Having people bully you and make fun of you on an almost daily basis does tend to put you on edge however I am not offended.

I am just confused. People are bloody confusing.

[TheFairyCaravan]

I'm a disabled adult. I've posted on MN for 8 years, I have never, ever felt bullied by any parent or carer of a child with SN. I've learnt a hell of a lot from them and had a lot of empathy from them.

Just my twopence worth.

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

I should also probably hide this thread.

And the rest of AIBU. It's probably not good for my mental health.

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

I also have nothing against you Fanjo. I think you are an intelligent person who is just trying to do their best.

Some of the things I say are stupid but I can be really witty and intelligent at times

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Toads I can't figure you out tbh. You claim to be not socially aware etc but you still deliver a fine passive aggressive put down like "thank you for proving my point" with style.

[Dawndonnaagain]

Fanjo, dd2 has a fine line in passive aggressive, she too has AS!

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Fair enough. Am just wary of people on MN in general tbh.

[Dawndonnaagain]

Toads I'm on the spectrum too.
If you feel agitated, just walk away for a bit.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

'His' table. Where did he get that from. Who died and left him a table.
Being disabled is no excuse for being rude

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

Toads I can't figure you out tbh.

Neither can most people tbh.

I have been diagnosed with ASD however. Everyone on the spectrum is different so I'm not sure what you mean with the rest of your post . I'm still very socially inept.

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

I've also learned to mimic other people. If I'm posting anything with style it's more than likely because I've copied other people.

[SauvignonBlanche]

I think fanjo is too sensitive for MN

Is someone on glue?

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

I'm also not even sure what "passive aggressive" means tbh .

[EponasWildDaughter]

Who died and left him a table.

No one. But he'd left his drink on the table while he wheeled himself out to the BBQ area to get a burger.

The debate about ''would people have minded an able bodied person getting shirty about this?'' is mute really. An able bodied person would have been able to manage the hot drink plus the trip outside for the burger easily; and therefore would not have needed to have worried about a leaving things behind and keeping a table.

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

I'm also not really agitated. At least not anymore.

[bialystockandbloom]

Hmm I don't know. He does sound unreasonably grumpy. But then he's not coming from the same place as able-bodied/nt people is he. When life is harder for you, it's also harder to keep up a jolly demeanour. Disabled people (especially adults) imo are expected to work harder than others to just not offend anyone with their disability iswim.

We had an extremely disabled family friend (Friedrichs Ataxia). My mum and i were with him once, helping him into his wheelchair from the car. A passing woman stopped and said "can I help at all". Mum said no thanks. Friend muttered afterwards "oh yes you'd really be able to lift me". Sounded bitter. But it was because she had addressed my mum when she asked the question - not him. He must have had a lifetime of having to suck up just everyday discrimination, being patronised (does he take sugar), being overlooked etc etc. Probably just had a moment of just being a bit ratty. It gets very very tiring having to explain and educate every single day over and over again, every time with a smile on your face and gratitude to all those lovely people who take a second out of their day/month/year/life to consider the additional needs disabled people have. Didn't blame him at all. Maybe it was something similar for that man OP.

[Jaxsbum]

SuperFlyHigh you will know this, but all people with cp are not the same.
for example my adult child is very polite, thanks everyone and very smiley.
her mate is rude and obnoxious.
yet they both have CP