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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

did I overreact?

120 replies

Wobblystraddle · 03/11/2015 16:46

I can let this go, even though it sounds so ridiculous.
So, we have a seven seater. We also have isofix car seats at the moment, so anyone using the rear two seats climbs in and out of the boot. They rarely get used at the moment.

We went out for lunch at the pub the other day. I went in the boot as my parents are visiting. I had a couple of large glasses of wine. When we got home, everyone bundled out and all of a sudden I realised that no one had let me out. I sat there for 15 minutes, then got out and had a complete meltdown at everyone.

I know lots of people will probably think, why didn't I just get out sooner? For the first couple of minutes I actually thought it was funny , I'd wait and see how long it took them to notice. Then I just started to feel sad and hurt. I'm crying now - so pathetic.

I mean, no one noticed that I wasn't there. I guess no one needed a cup of tea, or dinner cooked, or something else from me. Even dds (4 and 6) didn't notice I wasn't there, yet they are usually yelling for me every 30 seconds?

I did shout quite a lot. Dh thinks I overreacted. WIBU to feel really hurt by this? Why is it still making me feel sad?

OP posts:
Twitterqueen · 03/11/2015 16:50

I don't understand. You say that no-one let you out. But apparently you were perfectly capable of getting out on your own. Maybe they thought you'd gone to the loo, or were upstairs getting changed.

I think the wine went to your head and you over-reacted. In your place I would have been glad of the peace and quiet and had a little snooze.

FrozenPonds · 03/11/2015 16:51

Why did you did there for so long before getting out?

I'd assume grown adults were capable of deciding for themselves whether to stay in the car or get out.

I can honestly say I wouldn't notice if any family member over 12ish was unaccounted for for an hour or so.

Original poster
Wobblystraddle · 03/11/2015 16:52

I was, twitterqueen. I did get out by myself in the end. You're probably right about the wine, too. I did enjoy the quiet for a few minutes - anther reason I didn't rush to get out first.

But I just couldn't understand why no one suddenly realised I wasn't there, or they hadn't let me out. Our house isn't that big!

OP posts:
Original poster
Wobblystraddle · 03/11/2015 16:53

Yes, frozen, but I was expecting to be let out rather than clamber from the back to the front of the car, which is what I did in the end. It wasn't really my choice to stay in the car!

OP posts:
AliceInUnderpants · 03/11/2015 16:53

Eh, why do you need someone to let you out if you can do it yourself?

ConstanceMarkYaBitch · 03/11/2015 16:54

I don't get why you expected anyone to let you out if you were capable of getting out on your own? Presumably you weren't strapped into a car seat or anything?
They were probably wondering why the hell you were still sitting in the car.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 03/11/2015 16:55

I really don't understand why you waited so long to get out?! Confused

Sorry OP but I think you massively overreacted, but who hasn't at some point when they've had a drink Flowers

Apologise to your DH and forget about it now. Them immediately not noticing you weren't with them is in no way an indication of how they feel about you, they love you Smile

TurnOffTheTv · 03/11/2015 16:56

So you sat for 15 minutes in car that you could have gotten out of had a meltdown at your whole family, and are still crying about it now? Bloody hell get over yourself.
I wouldn't notice if my husband was missing, I would just assume he was upstairs or in the toilet

Pyjamaramadrama · 03/11/2015 16:56

I can see where you're coming from actually.

Katie2001 · 03/11/2015 16:57

You probably feel very taken for granted at the moment and it just peaked at that moment when it felt like nobody even noticed you were not there or had the kind thought to open the boot up for you. I know where you're coming from.

arethereanyleftatall · 03/11/2015 16:57

Sorry, but given that you could get out, you overreacted.
If you were locked in, that's would be different.

Katie2001 · 03/11/2015 16:58

X post with pyjama.

whatdoIget · 03/11/2015 16:58

I can see why you felt that no one cared enough to wonder where you were. That must have been hurtful.

GloGirl · 03/11/2015 16:58

I have the same car I think. It'd be near impossible to get out unless someone opens the boot.

I'd he annoyed too but really, it's just one of those things.

Pyjamaramadrama · 03/11/2015 16:59

It sounds as though she couldn't get out easily, she needed someone to open the boot.

What did they all say?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 03/11/2015 16:59

If my dh stayed sat in the car after a few glasses of wine because he was 'testing' us, and then had the cheek to get upset about it when we didn't realise... I'd be really cross with him tbh. Very childish

Original poster
Wobblystraddle · 03/11/2015 17:01

Well, you've all given me lots to think about. Thanks.

OP posts:
5madthings · 03/11/2015 17:01

We have a seven seater car, ours is a citreon c8, it's generally ds1 and ds2 in the back, but whoever is in the back we let them out the boot, we don't make them fold down a middle seat, flip it up and climb out so I can see why you are pissed off its just common sense and polite to have opened the boot and let you out!

ImperialBlether · 03/11/2015 17:01

Am I the only one laughing at this?

I'm sorry, OP, you sound really upset. I would have sat there and waited it out, I think. Did you have a phone with you? You could have had a live sit-in on here!

ShamelessBreadAddict · 03/11/2015 17:01

I'm sure they just thought you were at the loo busy doing something somewhere else. I wouldn't notice my DH was missing if it was only 15 mins tbh would think he was at the loo.

Original poster
Wobblystraddle · 03/11/2015 17:02

It is ridiculous, imperial, I agree!

OP posts:
OnlyLovers · 03/11/2015 17:03

I think people are being a bit harsh and I get what you mean, OP.

You sound busy and –not stressed, that's an overused word –as though you're usually, as you say, doing something for someone all the time. The one time you find yourself not looked for or shouted for seems to be when no one needs you to do something for them.

Add a few Wine in to that feeling and I can totally understand you crying over it. Perhaps the people in your life could appreciate you a bit more.

BadLad · 03/11/2015 17:08

The thought of someone volunteering to go in the boot made me laugh.

SurlyCue · 03/11/2015 17:10

Yes you absolutely did!

They probably assumed you were getting something from the car or talking to a neighbour or pulling chewing gum off your shoe or upstairs changing or at the loo or any number of random things. I cant imagine going looking for my mum or dad or another adult at their own house just because i hadnt seen them in 15 minutes!

You were drunk and ridiculous.

Original poster
Wobblystraddle · 03/11/2015 17:11

It was that or be des, BadLad, which was probably a mistake in retrospect.

OP posts:
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