....to not know what to do about my new childminder?

[TheCreepyContessaOfPlumperton]

We met her last week wrt minding my 3.3 yo DS. All fine, all good, we agreed verbally that we were all happy and that we'd like to start the arrangement next week (i.e. Wed 4th, tomorrow).

I contacted her on Saturday about contracts/documents, she emailed me back saying that we'd need to come by on Tues 3rd (today) to sign and pay the deposit beforehand. I explained that we couldn't do that day in the afternoon but could do the evening, and that I'd be off on Mon so that was an option too.

We got no response to the email, so I tried her home number on Monday afternoon - no answer. I then sent a message through the site I found her on (no response) and today I found a mobile number for her and tried to contact her that way via text (no response). Short of turning up unannounced, I am a bit stumped!

Am I massively overreacting? She said we needed to come over to sign things before the starting day, so I'm trying to make that happen but have had no response through any medium (she seemed to respond in a timely fashion before this).

I'm not sure if it really matters if we haven't signed anything beforehand, or if there's a chance she'll say she can't mind our son tomorrow because nothing has yet been signed. It's the first time we have booked a childminder so I am a little clueless. Is she going to think I'm crazy for trying to get in touch this much? I don't want her to think I'm stalking her!

Advice would be welcomed, thank you.

us there any way you can see if the messages have been received?

have you looked fir her on Facebook.

I'd he concerned too tbh

Well, she responded to the website messages in good time before so I don't see why they would have stopped working. Also, she emailed me from her own email account and I replied directly so that should be fine too. The mobile number is from the council site, and the home number from a Google search. I'm more sure of the first 2 modes of communication, really.

I'm worried that this is a non-confrontational form of her changing her mind and backing out and not telling us

Surely she's busy working, minding kids, rather than checking her phone/laptop?

You mean she hasn't had a spare moment since Saturday afternoon to confirm a message from a new client?

Ok then.

I would think this doesn't bode well for a good working relationship and start looking for another child minder.

if it's the kind of council site I've seen I'd not rely on those numbers.

I'm. wondering of there's sone kind of

"I don't answer when I'm not working" kind of thing going in maybe.

all I can think.of is face book really. It's nit unreasonable to want to confirm arrangements when you are unfamiliar with how it works etc.

there's no "active now" status on the Web page???

I'm not sure what else to suggest. do you know anyone who uses her?

She's running a business (where being contactable about children being ill/ checking availability is very key). YANBU to be in a quandry.
She doesn't appear very on the ball.

I was a CM for a few years and would not have replied to any emails or texts (other than urgent text from the parents of those I was CM for) during my working day (I honestly did not have time in between looking after the children and the paperwork).

I would give it until this evening.

I take your point, LisaD1. She has 2 children of her own (one aged 10, one teenager) so maybe one of them had an issue that she's been focused on outside of work hours. I did ask if everything was alright at home in my text today because I can't see any other reason for not replying for several days (esp over the weekend). She was quite diligent in replying before so it seems out of character (even though I haven't known her very long)!

Giles, I am reluctant to contact her by FB because then the stalker profile will be complete

I guess I'll just check through the documents she sent me thoroughly and make sure I have all required materials with me for tomorrow morning when we turn up as previously arranged. I have a half-serious mental image of them all hiding behind the sofa until I go away....

I should clarify that I didn't say 'Something must be wrong at home as I can't see any other reason for you not replying!!'

I just said 'Hope all is ok at home, I was getting a bit worried.'

I would def ring her mobile. Texts occasionally go astray.

After that I would take it as a warning of things to come.

Were you planning on leaving your ds without any settling in period?

It all seems rather slap dash.

Ah, sorry, missed where you have contacted over the weekend too, that is also a little strange, although there are also those who don't reply when not working (I personally did all my correspondence with non contracted parents at the weekends and evening so my focus was on those I was looking after during work times).

Perhaps give her a call this evening?

As a childminder it's her job to be very 'contactable' - not looking good I'm afraid.

Is she far away from you? If I were you I think I would try dropping in, but being careful not to coincide with the school run etc.

Well, he's been in nursery for a long time and is rather stoic, hibbledibble. Plus we were there the other day to introduce them to each other and he wandered off to play with her toys so seems quite happy. I'll be WFH 15 minutes away if he decides he hates it and so can pick him up if needed.

I think I may try calling her this evening, that is a good idea. Her tone of voice will let me know if she thinks I'm nuts or not

It seems very quick from visiting to starting, how come?

DH got a new job with 2 weeks notice..... it took me some days to locate a childminder who actually had a space and she only had time for us to visit last week. DH has started his job now, so we need some help really. DS usually goes to a cheap nursery across town but DH is taking the car to get to work and I can't make it across town and back to start work for 9am on public transport. Therefore, a childminder located within walking distance sounded ideal. DS will only be with her 2 days a week anyway.

I would say this isn't a good start either but also unsure why she wants you to sign documents before starting day - can't you do them at drop off? If she cannot make it tonight then that seems to be the only option anyway.

That is odd. I certainly find time to reply to parents when I'm childminding - even if I'm busy it takes a matter of seconds to message back to say that you're busy and you'll be in touch. I would be wondering if something had happened at home too. Try again this evening and then I guess you just have to show up tomorrow - do you have a Plan B if she is in the middle of a family crisis of some sort?

I think this is also out of order. I work in childcare so know exactly how stressful it can be getting things organised and I often don't check my phone for a while... However I think there is a different between not replying until the evening/ weekend with parents enquiring, and one who is meant to be starting tomorrow! she should be finding time in her day to respond to you. It really doesn't take long to send a quick text message and I look after 2 very busy toddlers!
This would be a turn off from me and I think not responding for this long is unprofessional.

My first stop will be to beg DS1's best friend's mum (who is a SAHM) to take him for the day; otherwise it'll be a nice expensive taxi ride to and from nursery at either end of the day. Or an unexpected day off (I kept some of my leave back just in case).

None of these really appeal....

I must admit that I'm slightly reassured that I'm not just being a crazy person.

No, definitely not crazy. She made it clear she needed everything signed by Tuesday, I can see why you're worrying. The fact that it was her pushing to get it done by Tuesday and then she seemingly disappeared off the face of the planet makes me think something has happened rather than it's her being flaky.

I didn't mean contact her as such just be nosy

what I mean is if she's posted in her page or whatever then she's had time to respond to you.