....to not know what to do about my new childminder?

[TheCreepyContessaOfPlumperton]

We met her last week wrt minding my 3.3 yo DS. All fine, all good, we agreed verbally that we were all happy and that we'd like to start the arrangement next week (i.e. Wed 4th, tomorrow).

I contacted her on Saturday about contracts/documents, she emailed me back saying that we'd need to come by on Tues 3rd (today) to sign and pay the deposit beforehand. I explained that we couldn't do that day in the afternoon but could do the evening, and that I'd be off on Mon so that was an option too.

We got no response to the email, so I tried her home number on Monday afternoon - no answer. I then sent a message through the site I found her on (no response) and today I found a mobile number for her and tried to contact her that way via text (no response). Short of turning up unannounced, I am a bit stumped!

Am I massively overreacting? She said we needed to come over to sign things before the starting day, so I'm trying to make that happen but have had no response through any medium (she seemed to respond in a timely fashion before this).

I'm not sure if it really matters if we haven't signed anything beforehand, or if there's a chance she'll say she can't mind our son tomorrow because nothing has yet been signed. It's the first time we have booked a childminder so I am a little clueless. Is she going to think I'm crazy for trying to get in touch this much? I don't want her to think I'm stalking her!

Advice would be welcomed, thank you.

I do think that, if you manage to make contact, she needs to give you a phone number that she can be relied on to answer. As pointed out upthread, in a childminder job you really cannot decide to be out of communication, no matter how busy you are.

Just did a FB/Google search. She doesn't appear to be on FB (not under that name anyway) but a lot of professional listings for her as a childminder come up via Google.

I'm inclining towards the family emergency option, which does make it more likely that she won't be able to look after DS tomorrow. I think I'll contact my friend now just so friend has a bit of notice! If she can't help with looking after him then she might be willing to deliver him to nursery for me (we've been friends since our first DC and see each other frequently; this isn't me taking the proverbial).

Not a great beginning, admittedly.

Did you get anything sorted op?

Not yet!

It doesn't bode well for future relations.

How odd-I'd be tempted to go round there!

It must be a family issue, surely. She's got longstanding mindees, this can't be her usual behaviour!!

A small relief is that DH doesn't need the car tomorrow or I will be able to use it to stop by childminders and, if she's not there/available, take Ds on to his nursery for an ad-hoc day. That takes some pressure off me, I have to say.

Right, I've called her mobile, heard her voice on answerphone and left a message saying that we'll be there tomorrow at 8.30 as arranged. Her work hours are 8-6 so mindees will have gone.

That makes 5 failed methods of communication now!

Yanbu. She's being very unprofessional. If you wanted to check if she's just ignoring you or not you could set up a new email with a different name and send her a fake email pretending to be someone looking for a CM and see if she responds to that.

That's a good suggestion from nameinlights! I would also recommend checking if she's on whatsapp and seeing when she was last active!

Good luck for the morning.

I can't believe it! She last checked WhatsApp at 18.55!!

I think somethings happened and she's had second thoughts on taking on your son. Could be a million and one things why but I would assume you need to find someone else. Sorry.

And yes it's unprofessional that she has just been straight and told you.

Should I just not bother turning up tomorrow? Take Ds straight to nursery instead?

I think you should turn up cos we need to know what's happening

she may have turned someone else away as she's taking on your ds. she might be expecting yku who knows...

Very strange indeed! I would definately turn up, even just to find out what's going on!

It doesn't sound too promising. Odd behaviour though.

I want to go and stand accusingly outside the door, really. It is just barely possible that she has a separate personal phone and that she accesses WhatsApp on that, so hasn't seen or got my missed call. There could still be a family emergency. I'll give the benefit of the doubt for as long as possible.

I don't think I'd be leaving my child with this woman.

she sounds flakey!

Not a good start

Do you really want such a flakey CM now?

Why on earth would you leave your child with her now?