....to not know what to do about my new childminder?

[TheCreepyContessaOfPlumperton]

We met her last week wrt minding my 3.3 yo DS. All fine, all good, we agreed verbally that we were all happy and that we'd like to start the arrangement next week (i.e. Wed 4th, tomorrow).

I contacted her on Saturday about contracts/documents, she emailed me back saying that we'd need to come by on Tues 3rd (today) to sign and pay the deposit beforehand. I explained that we couldn't do that day in the afternoon but could do the evening, and that I'd be off on Mon so that was an option too.

We got no response to the email, so I tried her home number on Monday afternoon - no answer. I then sent a message through the site I found her on (no response) and today I found a mobile number for her and tried to contact her that way via text (no response). Short of turning up unannounced, I am a bit stumped!

Am I massively overreacting? She said we needed to come over to sign things before the starting day, so I'm trying to make that happen but have had no response through any medium (she seemed to respond in a timely fashion before this).

I'm not sure if it really matters if we haven't signed anything beforehand, or if there's a chance she'll say she can't mind our son tomorrow because nothing has yet been signed. It's the first time we have booked a childminder so I am a little clueless. Is she going to think I'm crazy for trying to get in touch this much? I don't want her to think I'm stalking her!

Advice would be welcomed, thank you.

I would not turn up without signing contacts and speaking to CM beforehand. The fact you could nit contact her since the weekend dies not bode well. She is running a business, this behaviour is very unprofessional. I would take it that she does not want to mind ds, and look for somebody else. The fact she is non contactable is very worrying.

Do not contact her, let her contact you now, and find alternative childcare for ds.

But she wasn't like this before though, that's the thing. She replied promptly and helpfully - DH and I both went to meet her and thought she seemed nice and normal (according to our definition anyway). It's the sudden change that makes me think there must be some reason for her recent behaviour.

I will turn up tomorrow and see how it plays out. I foresee the following possibilities:

a) she doesn't answer the door => it's over
b) she answers the door and is unfriendly => it's over
c) she answers the door and is a bit bemused by all the fuss => not sure, play that by ear
d) she answers the door and has a convincing reason for why we haven't heard from her => we'll give her a chance.

Card has been marked though!

I wouldn't turn up.

It's obvious she's annoyed you couldn't come and sign when she wanted, so she's backing out without saying so.

I hope you can find someone new quickly.

Sounds very odd indeed, I'm only posting to see what happens.

Sounds very odd.

But that's such an odd reason to be annoyed - I offered to come over on Monday for goodness sake!

I am clinging to hopes of a reasonable explanation.

Jesus Contessa I hope her boiler has exploded or something to justify all of that!

If I am trusting someone to look after my child, I would expect them to answer a message in 4 days, especially when it is something that needs sorting. The confirmation that she has seen WhatsApp but still not responded would be the nail in the coffin and it wouldn't be happening. What if there are other times in an emergency you need to contact her or something happens where she should contact you but doesn't? I don't think I could trust her.

Very poor behaviour on the cm's part.

What if you need to get hold of her urgently when she's looking after your child?

Run for the hills as fast as you can.

Why don't you go over this evening? It's perfectly reasonable to say you were worried as you hadn't received any replies from her.

A couple of the schools here are off until tomorrow. It could be the case for her kids so she's taken a short break whilst most kids are back and it's a bit cheaper.

I would feel very stalkery doing that

I'll turn up tomorrow and ask if the arrangement is proceeding. If she says no then I will respectfully suggest that I wish she'd bloody told me, then I will take my boy elsewhere.

Definite no. You cannot leave your DS with someone that unreliable.

Maybe she's filled the space with another mindee and is avoiding telling you. I agree that it's really not a good sign that she hasn't responded to your calls and messages, I'm a childminder and have a policy that states that I will always have a charged phone during working hours so that I can be contacted. Hope you get sorted OP.

seems strange she hasnt contacted you over weekend

i would go round tonight and knock on door and say you are round to sort contracts out act all innocent

def cant leave a child with a cm without them, and wouldnt advise signing on the day in a rush with children about as may not read it properly

better to find out tonight rather then drag dc over there tomorrow and find for whatever reason she cant have dc

usually i would say avoid a cm like this who cant be bothered to contact you but maybe a good reason .......

Very strange! not marking place at all

No I would not just turn up without any formal acknowledgement to your communications.

She sounds weird - sorry! Sounds like a lucky escape to me. How unprofessional though - you'd think she'd want the business. And if she doesn't, she should do you the courtesy of saying so.

I'm being really nosey and wanting to know the outcome

I don't think you should leave your child with a woman that you have no way of contacting. What makes you think you will be able to find her to get him back?

Mumsnet always makes me very glad that (by luck more than judgement) I have found lovely nurseries / childminders / schools for my DC. There are some odd people out there...

Don't take your son there! so not placemarking :)