....to not know what to do about my new childminder?

[TheCreepyContessaOfPlumperton]

We met her last week wrt minding my 3.3 yo DS. All fine, all good, we agreed verbally that we were all happy and that we'd like to start the arrangement next week (i.e. Wed 4th, tomorrow).

I contacted her on Saturday about contracts/documents, she emailed me back saying that we'd need to come by on Tues 3rd (today) to sign and pay the deposit beforehand. I explained that we couldn't do that day in the afternoon but could do the evening, and that I'd be off on Mon so that was an option too.

We got no response to the email, so I tried her home number on Monday afternoon - no answer. I then sent a message through the site I found her on (no response) and today I found a mobile number for her and tried to contact her that way via text (no response). Short of turning up unannounced, I am a bit stumped!

Am I massively overreacting? She said we needed to come over to sign things before the starting day, so I'm trying to make that happen but have had no response through any medium (she seemed to respond in a timely fashion before this).

I'm not sure if it really matters if we haven't signed anything beforehand, or if there's a chance she'll say she can't mind our son tomorrow because nothing has yet been signed. It's the first time we have booked a childminder so I am a little clueless. Is she going to think I'm crazy for trying to get in touch this much? I don't want her to think I'm stalking her!

Advice would be welcomed, thank you.

I'm sure I'd be rocking in a corner by the end of it, cactusannie

Seriously though, I had a very shouty childhood and the thought of proper confrontation (i.e. overt anger being directed at me) really scares me. I once had to restrain myself from hiding under the desk when two angry colleagues were shouting at each other in the lab - even then I realised it was kind of a weird impulse, especially for a 26yo PhD student!

Nothing wrong with the tone of your review, OP. Too much emotion and anger and that's what people notice and react to, rather than the content.

Whoo hoo! The childcare site got in touch and allowed me to amend the review. I borrowed some of cactusannie's words - it is still wordy but I have left out some irrelevant detail:

We visited this childminder a week ago with our son to discuss working together. Initially it all seemed fine, but then (shortly after discussing contracts via email) she then stopped responding to all contact (email, childcare.co.uk messages, texts and phone calls, voicemails).

She eventually texted me 35 minutes before his first session was due to start and said that she would no longer be able to offer him a place. She gave no reason for this, nor did she explain why she had ignored all my previous attempts to contact her.

While I understand that she needed to cancel the arrangement, I suspect due to the lack of previous communication that she had made this decision several days beforehand and didn't inform us.

I would have much preferred to receive timely confirmation that she was not able to proceed (i.e not within an hour of the start time) as this would have been far less stressful for me and my family. I was disappointed by the lack of professionalism shown in communication practices and therefore would not recommend her.

Good for you!
Trust your instincts in future, you knew this had gone bad before you posted... And you handled it perfectly too, no need to draft dh in, you can handle this kind of thing.

Thanks Hissy. I wanted him around to rant at if I'd had to confront her, but it didn't come to that thankfully!

You're a lot nicer than I am, OP, I wouldn't have been able to reply so nicely!

I wonder if she cancelled because she read your posts on here?!

She only posted became she wasn't an seeing her phone or emails. decision was made then nor after the post.

What a dick!

She can't argue with your review!

I was very conscious of the fact that she might see my posts on here rollonthesummer, and so deliberately made an effort to keep saying how it might all be a family emergency and how I was sure it wasn't her fault. I did think that explanation might actually be true, but had my doubts.

Doesn't explain why she ignored me from Saturday onwards, mind you.

Lucky escape, I'd say. Shoddy admin generally means a shoddy service IME.

I had a childminder who after having cared for my DD for 18 month, changed her working hours with 3 days' notice meaning I could only drop off after I started work! She knew this and left me no option but to leave and run round like a mad thing trying to get cover. She had the nerve to try and charge me a month's charges which I refused to pay. She then had the further nerve to try and take me to court. Oddly enough it went no where and it was a pleasure to leave her a crap review to warn off any other mug who might use her.

That's shocking queen!! I can't believe she tried to take you to court for the fees as well. Unbelievable.

That must have been worse actually queen - at least DS and I didn't have any sort of relationship with our crap example, but I imagine you and your DD must have trusted her and been quite upset by the turnaround..... I can't believe she took you to court!