....to not know what to do about my new childminder?

[TheCreepyContessaOfPlumperton]

We met her last week wrt minding my 3.3 yo DS. All fine, all good, we agreed verbally that we were all happy and that we'd like to start the arrangement next week (i.e. Wed 4th, tomorrow).

I contacted her on Saturday about contracts/documents, she emailed me back saying that we'd need to come by on Tues 3rd (today) to sign and pay the deposit beforehand. I explained that we couldn't do that day in the afternoon but could do the evening, and that I'd be off on Mon so that was an option too.

We got no response to the email, so I tried her home number on Monday afternoon - no answer. I then sent a message through the site I found her on (no response) and today I found a mobile number for her and tried to contact her that way via text (no response). Short of turning up unannounced, I am a bit stumped!

Am I massively overreacting? She said we needed to come over to sign things before the starting day, so I'm trying to make that happen but have had no response through any medium (she seemed to respond in a timely fashion before this).

I'm not sure if it really matters if we haven't signed anything beforehand, or if there's a chance she'll say she can't mind our son tomorrow because nothing has yet been signed. It's the first time we have booked a childminder so I am a little clueless. Is she going to think I'm crazy for trying to get in touch this much? I don't want her to think I'm stalking her!

Advice would be welcomed, thank you.

You're too nice OP.

We've been looking for a babysitter (at home in the evenings, the occasional nursery run followed by tea and bed). We've had one lovely young woman come round, show us her certificates, and then not respond to any further messages either on the same website you mention or by text. We've also had one come round ditto, and do one evening babysitting slot, and then cancel the next two bookings by text the same day after I'd texted to confirm arrival time.

So though this is horrendous, I'm not as surprised as some.

The first of the two babysitters I mention logs in regularly on the site by the way. Others that we've messaged and haven't replied or we've had replies and arranged for them to come over, only for them not to turn up/not to arrange a specific time, also log in regularly. So it's not that they don't check their messages.

Our current CM is lovely but did have to cancel having our DC1 one day at less than a day's notice but it was because an immediate family member had been rushed into hospital, not locally. Pretty understandable and communication was very informative and regular throughout her absence.

This is my review. Is it ok? I'm looking for 'non-slanderous'.

We visited this childminder a week ago with our son to discuss working together and it all seemed to go fine - the next day I asked about paperwork and she sent several documents, advised that we'd need to sign contracts before the start date and suggested a time (the day before start date). I explained that the time wasn't convenient for us and suggested alternatives.

We then didn't hear from her again for several days (Saturday-Wednesday) despite trying to get in touch via email, childcare.co.uk messaging, mobile (text and phone) and her home phone number. I left several messages advising that we would be turning up at 8.30 on the arranged date, so she was aware that we thought the arrangement was still progressing.

This morning, 35 minutes before the arranged start time, she sent me a text message informing me that due to a change in circumstances it would not be possible to offer my son a place. Now that is not a problem - I understand that she needed to back out of the arrangement. However, I suspect due to the lack of previous communication that she had made this decision several days beforehand.

I would have much preferred to receive timely confirmation that she was not able to proceed (i.e not within an hour of the start time) as this would have been far less stressful for me and my family. I was disappointed by the lack of professionalism shown in communication practices.

Reads fine to me.

Ask at school about the childminder your friend mentioned, they will know who she is.

Review is good; factual and non emotional. I think you had a lucky escape if this is the way she conducts herself.

Right, it's posted then. I needed minimal encouragement!

That's a good idea glen, I will ask them.

It's ok but I would have emphasised more on her poor communication and huge hassle she left of you with her very short notice reply. I know you don't have to be rude but it still seems a bit too polite and I'm not sure how much notice people would take.

I probably would go with something like this,

Last week we visted this childminder with our son. We were all happy so planned to go ahead and use her. There was an issue with signing paperwork at the time she said so we tried to arrange alternative times, this was when we had problems after our previous good experience. We left several messages over X, Y and Z from Saturday to Wednesday. Not once did we receive a response despite me seeing that she had read the message on WhatsApp, this was extremely unprofessional and we were left wondering if this arrangement was even going ahead.

I messaged one last time to say we would be arriving the next morning at our arranged time, still no contact from her. Less than an hour before on the day, I finally received a response to say that she couldn't go ahead. Needless to say this has really left us in the lurch at the last possibly minute. Due to her lac of respondence, it is highly likely she k ew this all along but did not have the courage to inform us. I certainly would not recommend this childminder to anyone.

Sorry about the typos, I can spell but stupid autocorrect thinks it knows better.

Do reviews have to be really black or white in order to make people take notice? I wouldn't hire her based on what I wrote!

I was trying to be very very factual as I tend to dismiss reviews with any hint of negative emotion evident....

Of course not. I wouldn't say what I put has negative emotion in it, it's factual to show how much she has messed you around. And that is important to get across because choosing a CM is such an important thing.

I agree with what cactus said, yours is quite wordy and not strong enough.

Have they actually let you post it?

I guess everybody has a different idea of what strongly-worded means to them. For me, the above was quite stern, although I concede that to others it is mild

I have posted it, they ask you to allow a 48h moderation period. I am now nervously anticipating the angry response (another reason why I kept it mild; there's nothing in there she can reasonably dispute).

catcus reply is good. To the point but making sure all facts there

I think your message is fine. Cactus's is also fine. Different styles, both convey the same information although cactus's is a little misleading in implying that the arrangement was made longer ago.

Good for you posting that kind of feedback. I do wonder whether she may have a genuine crisis going on, but if so surely she'll have had to be in contact with all clients with more professionalism.

I was pretty sure that she'd have mentioned a family emergency if there was one - it would have garnered more sympathy and people generally want to be thought well of. I wouldn't have needed details, just 'family emergency' would have done.

Op - you're starting to sound like a jealous bitter ex lover give it up man you only met her last week!

Whatever her reasons she's blown you out, you've left your review now move on.

I did say this surferjet

I've been worried about this for 5 days and only got 'jilted' this morning so allow me some bitter time if you please!!

I agree, I think most people would have claimed a family emergency in that situation whether it was true or not! 35 minutes notice

It's a bit waffly.

"We agreed a start date with this childminder. 35 minutes before we were due to leave our child with her for the first time she texted to cancel our contract. Very inconvenient and unprofessional."

Op from your posts I can tell that you will do anything to avoid conflict and minimise your own feelings. That's not a criticism - I've been the same and still am for the most part! I do think you need to accept that it is perfectly ok to be angry when something as glaringly wrong as this happens. It's ok to make your point, ahem, pointedly/ sharply and to stand by your views even if it is met with an angry response. This would have seriously pissed off any reasonable person so while the way you've responded is admirable, some people need a sledgehammer approach or they just don't get how downright annoyingly inconvenient they have made things. Frankly she doesn't deserve your custom, and I would have said so!

[Rolls up sleeves] Now, time for me to make yet another call to HMRC about my tax code!

Oh well - I did ask if I could amend it but it's already up. Never mind.

This all feels terribly confrontational....

I wouldn't be surprised if she makes a new profile on there! I'm a nanny and a nanny once posted on a forum to say that someone left her a negative feedback (which was untrue!) and so she deleted her profile and made a new one!