Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if you invite you pay

284 replies

laffymeal · 31/10/2015 21:26

Just back from friends ds's 18th birthday meal. Me, dh, dd and ds all invited to TGI Fridays along with about 20 others. Only had main course and drinks, dessert was birthday cake which dh drove the mum to Costco for, spent £50 on present, bill arrives and we're asked for £35 a head! Aibu to be fucking totally pissed off? Was happy to contribute towards drinks/tip but not whole fucking meal, which incidentally was quite shite and overpriced. Happy to be told I'm an entitled cunt btw, opinions please!

OP posts:
pinechesterdrawers · 31/10/2015 21:38

i would expect to pay in this situation - its not a party or event hosted by the parents, its meeting out in a restaurant to celebrate.

GloriaHotcakes · 31/10/2015 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nearlycaughtawoozle · 31/10/2015 21:38

We are going out for DS's 18th in a couple of weeks - I have invited people but made it quite clear when inviting that I can't afford to pay for everyone. It's up to them then if they want to come (so far everyone has accepted).

I don't think I would assume that it was a paid for meal if someone invited me - I would expect to pay and it would be a nice bonus if my meal was paid for. I guess it depends on the circles you move in.

maddening · 31/10/2015 21:38

With any restaurant meal people should all check the paying situation - even whether it's splitting the bill or paying for what you have beforehand as well as being invited to a celebratory meal - saves lots of hassle and bad feeling as everyone has the own perception of how it works.

momsnest · 31/10/2015 21:38

I expect to pay in a restaurant tbh.

Original poster
laffymeal · 31/10/2015 21:39

It seemed an awful lot for what we had to be honest.

DD was 18 a few months ago and we considered a restaurant and I honestly would have paid for the whole thing. I guess I'm different, not right or wrong just different, we hosted a party with a hog roast and about £500 worth of booze instead.

OP posts:
AwfulBeryl · 31/10/2015 21:39

Shock of course I would expect to pay, in fact in our circles the birthday person doesn't pay and everyone else chips in a few quid to cover theirs.
I have seen this notion on MN, and only on Mn I might add, but the person posting last time got different responses, so you're not the only entitled cunt out there. Wink

desertmum · 31/10/2015 21:40

A lone voice of ynbu - I wouldn't expect to pay when it is a special occasion like that. But agree with others that £35 a head at TGIF seems to be a huge rip off.

IHaveBrilloHair · 31/10/2015 21:41

I'd expect to pay in those circumstances.
You paid more than you ate because the bill was split evenly.

expatinscotland · 31/10/2015 21:41

I would expect to pay but not £35 a HEAD!!! I would not expect to have 4 peoples' meal paid for.

Original poster
laffymeal · 31/10/2015 21:41

Hee hee, get me the entitled cunt that I am Grin

OP posts:
AwfulBeryl · 31/10/2015 21:43
Grin
Longislandicetee · 31/10/2015 21:44

I don't think you're entitled, equally I wouldn't be fuming about it either. I would pay for everyone if I was hosting a birthday party at a restaurant. On the other hand if someone invited me to share a meal with them so not a "party" just a meal out together then I would expect to pay. As someone else said, it's blurry. If you always expect to pay then you can be pleasantly surprised!!

Original poster
laffymeal · 31/10/2015 21:45

Thanks everyone, I actually feel better now, was quite indignant and dh told me I was being a dick, annoys me when he's right Angry

OP posts:
AwfulBeryl · 31/10/2015 21:46

Don't worry about it, I am a dick all the time.

AwakeCantSleep · 31/10/2015 21:46

Where I am from (Europe), if you invite people to a meal out in a restaurant, you pay. Anything else would be incredibly rude, and not actually an invitation at all.

Of course people may well go out for dinner and share the bill, but it wouldn't be called an invitation, and the cost would be discussed beforehand. Makes a lot of sense to me.

expatinscotland · 31/10/2015 21:46

I wouldn't have had that in my account to pay for, tbh. I'd have offered to pay for what we ate and not this splitting it evenly shite.

Original poster
laffymeal · 31/10/2015 21:47

I love you beryl

OP posts:
lougle · 31/10/2015 21:51

What on earth made you think that they were paying??

expatinscotland · 31/10/2015 21:52

'Of course people may well go out for dinner and share the bill, but it wouldn't be called an invitation, and the cost would be discussed beforehand. Makes a lot of sense to me.'

Yeah. No one seems to do that here. And then they don't SAY anything.

EliGold · 31/10/2015 21:53

If you are invited it used to be the rule that the host pays for everyone. However, given the cost and large number invited in modern times it has become acceptable to split the bill. If I was hosting I would have paid for all. If I went as a guest realising the huge cost involved I would have offered to pay my family's share. They should have had a bring a dish type party instead allowing all to come but the cost to be acceptable. The hosting family should have paid for the booze at least.

Igneococcus · 31/10/2015 21:54

Same as awakecantsleep. It would be considered utterly rude not to pay for the food/drink of the people you have asked to come to a birthday meal out where I come from.

SinglePringle · 31/10/2015 21:54

I would expect to pay for food and drink.

That said, when I've invited friends for a birthday meal, I've paid for all booze. And I'm happy for friends to cane the cocktails / fizz / wine. Last one cost me £250 but they'd attended and been generous with unexpected presents.

AwfulBeryl · 31/10/2015 21:54

Wine Grin

pinotblush · 31/10/2015 21:55

I personally wouldnt host a party and expect anyone to pay. YANBU.

Swipe left for the next trending thread