to think if you invite you pay

[laffymeal]

Just back from friends ds's 18th birthday meal. Me, dh, dd and ds all invited to TGI Fridays along with about 20 others. Only had main course and drinks, dessert was birthday cake which dh drove the mum to Costco for, spent £50 on present, bill arrives and we're asked for £35 a head! Aibu to be fucking totally pissed off? Was happy to contribute towards drinks/tip but not whole fucking meal, which incidentally was quite shite and overpriced. Happy to be told I'm an entitled cunt btw, opinions please!

So you have so far paid £300 for the pleasure of having dinner with them twice?

...and I would never normally be tallying up the cost but a few things lately make me think they're a bit tight and take us for granted. I bought a load of designer gear in the states for them that they specifically requested and waited 6 weeks for the money

In my family, my mum and dad would either have paid for everyone or not had the party in a restaurant if they couldn't afford it. I don't think your friends were all that U for splitting the bill, but it's left a bit of a bad taste in your mouth and you're unlikely to put yourselves out for them in future. When people are stingy with me, I always think, well, it's your loss in the end.

Your friends sound like they are taking the piss but you've already started to realise.
I hate people that abuse others generosity with no intention of ever giving any back.

In this day and age I would go with the view we were paying our own way and be pleasantly surprised if it turned out not to be the case - which happens a lot more often than not for these type of invites.

I have no issue with splitting bills if it's a reasonably fair split but I also have no problem with saying, no chance I didn't spend anywhere near that much and I'm not subsidising other peoples bar bills!

Sadly this sort of thing needs to be sorted out in advance, YOU might assume something, they might assume different and its very difficult to have this argument in public.

There were a group of friends we actually stopped going out with when one night I worked out that we had paid £60 for a meal for two that should have cost £25. When trying to work out how, I realised that two of the couples regularly ordered extra bottles of wine and kept them down the end of the table away from the rest of the group. The next time we went out I went to refill a glass from one of these, and was told:" That's for us." So DH ordered one for us, and they complained about the size of the bill!

c 25 people at a midprice place, I'd very strongly expect guests to be paying their own bills.

guests to be paying their own bills.

I think that is contradictory.
They are either guests or paying their own bills.

I think it depends on the norms of the social circle involved.

And the wealth of the people involved.

With some of my friends I would not expect to pay; with others I would not be surprised.

I think given the downmarket venue.....