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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let my 13 year old DS own Grand Theft Auto

123 replies

Flyonthewindscreen · 29/10/2015 13:35

Sorry - I know this has been done before.

Consider myself a pretty laid back parent re gaming. DS has an xbox one and only games now that he knows he is not allowed are various 18 games I (and DH) consider beyond the pale. GTA is one of them. I found out last night that DS had downloaded GTA onto his Xbox and been playing it for weeks. I hadn't checked what he had been up to online very recently because he had previously been pretty trustworthy.

Game now deleted and trust lost. But DS claims that literally every other boy he knows of his age and younger has the game and having looked at who he has played with online I am inclined to believe him. This includes kids from all kinds of schools with parents in all kinds of occupations so no stereotype of the sort of parent who clearly aren't bothered about their DC being on violent, sexually explicit games.

Am I being precious or is it every other parent round here that IBU?

OP posts:

IMurderedStampyLongnose · 29/10/2015 13:38

YADNBU.It is so peculiar how otherwise sensible people see no harm in their young children playing the likes of this.My DS is ten and everyone In his class plays it,and looking at it they certainly seem to.Over my dead body will he get to play it anytime soon.

Katedotness1963 · 29/10/2015 13:39

Mine are 14 and 16 and not allowed that game. They've also been told they aren't to play it at friends houses. My dh went to pick them up from a friends house last year and found them outside in the garden alone. The other boys were playing GTA and they knew they weren't allowed so went outside.

They do have 16 year old games because the eldest can play them and I'm not daft enough to think the younger one wouldn't too. But no 18's!

EatShitDerek · 29/10/2015 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IloveJudgeJudy · 29/10/2015 13:41

I agree. Like you, I'm fairly relaxed about gaming, but GTA is one game that is/will not be allowed in this house ever. It's true what your DS says that nearly everyone else has this game, but not my DSs. I know that they have played the game in other people's houses. That is/was out of my control.

Stick to your guns, OP. I am. DC know this is one thing I'm deadly serious about. I would be extremely upset if that had happened here, especially as I don't/haven't stopped a.ll 16/18+ games

Murdock · 29/10/2015 13:42

He's likely seen it all before at his friends' houses - however, it's your house and your rules and you are not being unreasonable to set standards as to what age-restricted entertainment you will allow. Games are rated 16/18 for a reason.

You can put an 'age-gate' on most consoles (I don't have an Xbox so don't know the specifics of that) which can prevent certain content being downloaded or used.

ConfusedInBath · 29/10/2015 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 29/10/2015 15:01

How many of the other children playing have been deceitful too and acquired it without permission?

You were right to delete it, but please make sure you change his passwords or he can just download it again as it has already been paid for.

EeyoresTail · 29/10/2015 15:05

The deleting of it would have been the start of the punishment. A ban from using the xbox for at least a week would have followed too.

G1veMeStrength · 29/10/2015 15:08

I won't have GTA in my house regardless of age. It helps that I also won't have Sky TV and I will never buy Nestle. So if DS wants to moan he can moan about his mums annoying principles rather than his mum treating him like a kid ;) (the fact that he IS a kid appears to be irrelevant)

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 29/10/2015 15:10

When ds1-20, was 18 he bought it, I did let ds2 and 3 play it, they were 14 and 16 then.

I also let them play other games, COD, Halo, Red Dead Redemption, etc.

All is well.

WhoisLucasHood · 29/10/2015 15:15

DH plays it. I'm really shocked at the swearing and violence in it. I'm not a prude but no way would my children be playing this.

GummyBunting · 29/10/2015 15:17

It has an age rating for a reason. You know your kids, and if it's not suitable for them, then that's that.

It baffles me the number of parents that let their kids play any game they want. I always wonder whether they'd happily let them watch any 18 rated film they want?

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 29/10/2015 15:18

I own this game but I wouldn't let a 13 year old play it. They are not mature enough to understand the content - I don't think 18 is a 'magic number' in terms of being adult enough to play it (I think 16-17 is perfectly reasonable), but there's certainly a line. My youngest sibling used to play it at their friend's house around this age, along with games like Call Of Duty - their behaviour after was quite bad along with the usual 'well my friend is allowed to have it, why can't I?'. There's a reason why the games have a 'mature' rating, same as films and tv programmes.

As for downloading it, you did the right thing. It doesn't matter what other parents let their kids play, you are doing the right thing not allowing him to play it. The fact he did it behind your back just proves he's too immature to have it at the moment. Don't get into arguments about it - just stand firm, ' you are not old enough to play it, when you are and can pay for it yourself, you're welcome to get it again. Until then, it's an undisputed no'. I also agree with putting some sort of parental control on the Xbox, otherwise this will happen again, trust me.

notquitehuman · 29/10/2015 15:18

I enjoy the game, but there's no way I'd let a 13 year old play it! It's not the same as the first GTA where you'd just run around stealing cars and crashing them. There's a lot of sexual content and graphic storylines involving torture.

I'm guessing the other boys parents are either unaware of the content or unaware their child has downloaded it. Can you put parental locks in place to ensure he can't download games without your password? After some time away from the X Box for lying of course.

Fairylea · 29/10/2015 15:20

I wouldn't let him have it - dh has it and I know the content. It's totally inappropriate for young teens. But I know from my dd year 8 that every boy in her class does have it (she's not interested in games at all thank goodness) so I think most parents are letting them have these games. I think it's awful actually.

CiderwithBuda · 29/10/2015 15:40

My DS is 14 and doesn't have it. It's not coming into this house.

He has a couple of 16 games but not 18s. And yes he thinks I'm totally unreasonable. So be it.

BoneyBackJefferson · 29/10/2015 15:44

notquitehuman

I'm guessing the other boys parents are either unaware of the content or unaware their child has downloaded it.

You would be guessing wrong.

Pancakeflipper · 29/10/2015 15:47

YANBU

We have issue with our DS who is 10yrs old. One of his close mates has it (same age... sighs) and is super popular with classmates going round to play it. Told the parents my son is not allowed to play/watch it. Sadly he doesn't go round much now but the friend comes to ours and plays on the boring old Wii happily

It's the depiction of females that I don't like.

bloodyteenagers · 29/10/2015 15:49

Put some controls onto the Xbox. Ridiculous that he downloaded it weeks ago and you didn't realize.
And no I wouldn't let a 13 year old play the latest gta.

gamerchick · 29/10/2015 15:51

How did he pay for it? Downloading those games is eyewateringly expensive from live.

Gta5 is 54.99 and 66.99 depending on extras. I don't know about you but my 13 yr olds have never had access to that sort of money.

GladysTheGolem · 29/10/2015 15:52

I love GTA, I've been playing the series since PS1 when I was about 10.

I wouldn't let my DC play it before 15 (if they're old enough to watch what passes for a 15 now), and after that it would be judged on how mature they are.

COD offline on couch multiplayer yes, COD online with all the dickwipes that play it no.

Yanbu.
Whose bank account did the download come out of?

Paintedhandprints · 29/10/2015 16:46

I guess you know how mature your son is. If he's already been playing it for weeks have you noticed a change in his behavior? Other than the dishonesty of course. I would use this as an opportunity to discuss ethics, criminal consequences, etc. I think your son may surprise you.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 29/10/2015 16:50

My 13 year olds played it.

JoySzasz · 29/10/2015 17:00

I'd never buy it or l let my boys play it at home. however your boys will play it.
They will find ways to accidentally on purpose do it.
My eldest did. I don't control what goes on in other people homes.
On another thread today, parents are falling over themselves to explain how laid back they are about when their 14 and under kids need to be home. I'm surprised parents still think they can control what games their kids play, in light of how laid back they are (with them out of the house)

bloodyteenagers · 29/10/2015 17:09

Just out of interest those saying they would let their 13 year old.. Would you let the 13 year old watch say Saw or human centipede. Like the game they are 18's.
If not and your child made the argument that they are all 18's would you change your mind?

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