To not let my 13 year old DS own Grand Theft Auto

[Flyonthewindscreen]

Sorry - I know this has been done before.

Consider myself a pretty laid back parent re gaming. DS has an xbox one and only games now that he knows he is not allowed are various 18 games I (and DH) consider beyond the pale. GTA is one of them. I found out last night that DS had downloaded GTA onto his Xbox and been playing it for weeks. I hadn't checked what he had been up to online very recently because he had previously been pretty trustworthy.

Game now deleted and trust lost. But DS claims that literally every other boy he knows of his age and younger has the game and having looked at who he has played with online I am inclined to believe him. This includes kids from all kinds of schools with parents in all kinds of occupations so no stereotype of the sort of parent who clearly aren't bothered about their DC being on violent, sexually explicit games.

Am I being precious or is it every other parent round here that IBU?

Myotherusername, am enjoying my teen's company too

Teenagers get too much bad press

Edna - it's an open choice left up to your own personal moral code, much like real life. Can you explain how this is such a horror, please?

That's okay Ena was probably being over sensitive :) I don't get the pride either. There can sometimes be no consistency in what affects kids either. DS2 would happily watch some things but was scared of "A Christmas Carol" when he was about 10 even though it was a PG and should be suitable for over 7s (it was the horses we established later).

So, the moral being, yes look at the rating but only you can decide if it's suitable and just because Jonny next door is fine with it, it doesn't mean your child will be.

And yes I do shake my head too from time to time but mostly they are great :)

Not in my home. I know some of DS's friends have it, but I've been told by their mums that he asks to play FIFA if they are playing computer games when he's round at their houses. FIFA is also the only game he has at home.

I believe GTA gives the player the opportunity to pick up prostitutes, 'perform' sex acts, then kill them. It's not just a driving game.

Grand a Theft Auto doesn't require you to kill prostitutes, it doesn't tell you to kill them, and it only rewards you for killing them in the way it does anyone else - you can choose to steal from their body, or not

So that's okay then ...

interesting that all these minors are not allowed to watch 18 films but are allowed to play the games.

Would that be because of the content in 18 rated films?
Which is actually the same classification as the 18 games.
Has been the same for the past couple of years.

How many also knew the legal ramifications of showing sexual content to minors?
Gta shows sexual content.

beef the word horror was used as short hand for horror films.

Funnily enough (about the open choice comment) the games shops don't appear to like selling kids adult games.

I agree with you about moral code. It's nothing to do with any real or perceived weakness on the part of my children, which is where I came in to make a comment..

Mine are allowed to watch some 18s but only with us. Anything 15 and over is the same although technically DS1 is 15 and DS2 is not far off so that should probably be lifted but they don't seem bothered at the moment.

We all watched Kill Bill the other week and we've watched Scarface. We are contemplating Reservoir Dogs but won't do Pulp Fiction for a bit.

We've watched Breaking bad and Better Call Saul and Homeland but not Game of Thrones. I am sure everyone will have a different view on which of these they would find more or less suitable for their children but I am comfortable so far with the choices we've made.

For those saying they wouldn't let a thirteen year old play on it, have you actually played the game? If not, how did you become so familiar with the content?

You can kill prostitutes in the game. You can also kill a hairdresser, or even a dog, if you choose. It doesn't mean that is what the game is about.

It's a sandbox game with the freedom to choose your actions. Those actions have consequences that mirror real life. If you choose to shoot a prostitute, it results in you being chased by the police and arrested.

To clarify, I think thirteen is too young. But eighteen is too old for many teens.

For those saying they wouldn't let a thirteen year old play on it, have you actually played the game?

I've played every main GTA and rate them very highly. The main problem is the story, which you're generally prodded into doing, it's a very dark and very violent series now. I wouldn't stick religiously to the 18 rating but I wouldn't let a 13 year old loose, personally.

Dd played it at 12/13.

She is now 16, normal, and doesn't attack folk in the street.

I watched many inappropriate films as a kid (18 rated).

I don't attack folk in the street.

You know your own child, and if they can distinguish reality from fantasy so it's a personal choice.

I've certain never become desensitised to violence. I love horror films but they still terrify me and the blood and guts make me cold sometimes!
My partner also has never seen women as sex objects.
Never been to a strip club nor wants to even though ive never told him not too.
In fact we'd only been together a year when i got ill and told him to leave. It's now 5 years later And we're still together.
He's played loads of games and still does occasionally yet does not see me as something who has to give him sex.

Puzzledandpissedoff yes, that's fine, for the reasons I laid out. Do you have anything to contribute?

I don't think anyone is worried about their 13 yr old attacking folk in the street.

the psychological impact is more subtle than that.

In gaming you are role-playing in a similar way to a group of seven year olds running around with twigs, shouting 'bang you're dead!'. Perhaps the advantage of gaming is the chance to continue these games into adulthood without looking babyish. (As a matter of fact, I played war games in the barn with my brothers when we were teenagers!) Clearly, this is all natural and no psychological damage will be inflicted from children's games like this. But this game isn't made for children, is it.

In a children's game, you groan theatrically and fall down dead. Perhaps there is some thrilling, passing reference to the blood and guts. That's as close to the horror of war as it gets. There is a reason that emotionally secure, psychologically stable young adults don't tie each other up and simulate torture, or engage with prostitutes (or kill them).

Left to their own devices, without prompts from commercial games, children find their own boundaries about what's appropriate. Only occasional guidance is needed. With games like this pushed in their faces continually, parenting gets harder.

We need to think through what we're doing and why, rather than hiding behind easy answers like 'It didn't do me any harm' or 'I know it won't do my child any harm'. Would you let them smoke pot on the same principle? If you would, consider how many mental illnesses are triggered by smoking pot. Your child might be fine. They might not. Just because you took a risk that worked out doesn't mean they're safe. It's much more complicated than that and the reality is we simply don't know enough about the impact of these games on anyone's mind, much less a developing child.

OP YANBU

Honestly Push a pop, I would bet my house that my kids won't be attacking anyone in the street whatever they watch.

That's not the reason I don't want to have exploitative garbage in my home.

My DS asks all the time whether he can have this game, and the answer never changes. It winds me up when I hear that his friends are playing it and he feels left out, as that's all they talk about, he attends a special needs school so am shocked that the other parents think this is ok, as it makes it harder to explain why he isn't allowed, and he gets confused as to why his friends can but he can't, it's a nightmare.

YANBU

As some of the other posters have said, kids ride around in cars and jump out of helicopters etc when playing it.

However, the online content has both text chat and voice chat and the language there is far more colourful than the base game. My friends husband was telling us about young sounding kids on the game talking about getting hookers because 'you have to pee in bitches to get them pregnant' and then you smoke the weed :-/
Really doesn't seem like anything you'd want children / early teens playing.

DP plays GTA sometimes and I quite like having half an watching and half an eye reading or something.

I find the game pretty fun and there is a huge variety of missions, it really isn't all about going and killing prostitutes.

I think it is much like anything else - a normal healthy mentally sound 13 year old isn't going to be harmed by flying a helicopter around and smashing cars in GTA.

Jaeme, I think there were quite a lot of little kids in DS' primary school playing that game; it was often the case that DS' came from school saying that x or y boys were teasing another kid saying he should rape her sister. They were 7 years old and it wasn't a particular kid, it was very widespread.

The school was none the wiser and wouldn't even accept there was a problem.

YANBU horrible game.