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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not let my 13 year old DS own Grand Theft Auto

123 replies

Flyonthewindscreen · 29/10/2015 13:35

Sorry - I know this has been done before.

Consider myself a pretty laid back parent re gaming. DS has an xbox one and only games now that he knows he is not allowed are various 18 games I (and DH) consider beyond the pale. GTA is one of them. I found out last night that DS had downloaded GTA onto his Xbox and been playing it for weeks. I hadn't checked what he had been up to online very recently because he had previously been pretty trustworthy.

Game now deleted and trust lost. But DS claims that literally every other boy he knows of his age and younger has the game and having looked at who he has played with online I am inclined to believe him. This includes kids from all kinds of schools with parents in all kinds of occupations so no stereotype of the sort of parent who clearly aren't bothered about their DC being on violent, sexually explicit games.

Am I being precious or is it every other parent round here that IBU?

OP posts:
MrsMolesworth · 29/10/2015 17:11

YANBU. Your house, your rules, and your principles are good. i did let DC get it, for complex reasons (having vowed I'd never have it in the house.) DS2 has ASD and finds it hard to socialise. He claimed all the other boys in his class had it and talked about it all the time, so he was excluded from their chats, so we got it for him and it turned out to be true - lots of them did. He started playing with them online and now mixes with them at school more than he did. It was an important peer group thing that in the end had higher value to me than keeping him excluded when there were already so many other things that excluded him.

TBH whenever i spy on it, they are just driving around, souping up cars in garages, changing their hairstyles, abseiling or taking helicopter rides. i have seen no evidence of any of the uglier things that happen in the game. The graphics are stunning. I'm just saying this to give a perspective on why parents do allow it.

PreciousxBane · 29/10/2015 18:36

Many dc that age do have it and you can look at their friends profiles and compare games.

If you have a credit card linked to your account then remove the ability to pay for downloading. Just buy microsoft points in GAME if you need to download stuff. My DS is almost 15 and was the last person on his friends list to get it. He drove around a lot and did a few robberies with shoot outs and that was it. The whole changing outfits,helicopter rides etc as MrsM wrote is just what they did. So many people took the P out of him as he wasnt allowed it I caved in.

JCDenton · 29/10/2015 18:40

I wouldn't at 13, it's a game where everyone is horrible and everything is shit, it's a very nihilistic game. Give it a couple of years and judgr on maturity. I wouldn't trust a 13 year old not to just take it at face value. Also very violent in places, some of it is meant to shock adults and does so very successfully so again, not for a 13 year old in my opinion.

stoppingbywoods · 29/10/2015 19:39

No, you're not being unreasonable. It's outrageous that games like this exist. Utterly sick that children play them.

bloodyteenagers · 29/10/2015 20:04

It isn't outrageous that games like this exist.
Just like films, not everyone wants to watch family films, not everyone wants to play child games and as an adult I should be allowed that choice.
I agree it is outrageous that children are playing them. If those saying oh it's only a bit of racing and costume changing sat in a room for a hour and properly watched the game, they would see it for the violent game it is.
I am not making any judgement based on the crap teens spout, nor other parents or online reviews but from sitting and completing this and other games.

Nectarines · 29/10/2015 20:08

I've just completed a safeguarding children course for work (school) and one of the seminars focused on GTA. The leader showed us a scenario where players enter brothels and there is graphic language and content completely inappropriate for younger children. Look at what an 18 certificate means.

GummyBunting · 29/10/2015 20:16

It's outrageous that games like this exist
Oh leave it out. It's like the video nasties pearl-clutching of the 80s.

bloodyteenagers · 29/10/2015 20:20

Then there's the crack lab and the strip lab and the strip club one of the main characters own.
That's setting aside the shoot outs.

But yea all innocent stuff Grin
Not even mentioning how you can change the camera angles when one of the characters is in his car getting a bj from a hooker. shoot me after all the hype and pearl clutching when the game was first released I wanted to see for myself

bloodyteenagers · 29/10/2015 20:21

Not sure where the strip lab came into it lol maybe they can add that into the next game

DifferentCats · 29/10/2015 20:22

There are no brothels in GTA V.

I would let a mature fourteen year old play on it provided they were supervised. I have played it through more than once and it is, at heart, a game about cars and overblown thefts. While it feels good to get dramatic about it, a game that was just about punching prostitutes in the head (which seems to be the MN impression) would be very boring.

bloodyteenagers · 29/10/2015 20:29

Different cats, some people view brothels and strip clubs in the same way. But that's a whole different debate

HormonalHeap · 29/10/2015 20:54

Oh my goodness. Please check out my current thread on teenagers outlining the torture I am going through with my ds 2 years down the line from you. Do NOT lose your resolve. Worth putting in the effort now. The longer you leave it/older they get, the harder it becomes.

BabyGanoush · 29/10/2015 21:02

My DS (13) does nit even have xbox or PS

He says he's the only one

But they are so expensive and all the games so nasty

So annoying

BabyGanoush · 29/10/2015 21:03

What's your thread called hormonal leap?

Boo00100001 · 29/10/2015 21:08

to the people that let them play - would you let your child go and see an 18 movie?

DramaAlpaca · 29/10/2015 21:11

I didn't let my three sons play 18 games at that age.

JCDenton · 29/10/2015 21:12

But they are so expensive and all the games so nasty

Really? All the games?

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 29/10/2015 21:21

of course yanbu

and of course some will come on and say my 13 year old played in and has not turned into a gun wielding gangster

its not really the point it is terribly violent, plays out awful violence towards women why allow them when it is just not necessary and they are still at an impressionable age

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 29/10/2015 21:24

Just out of interest those saying they would let their 13 year old.. Would you let the 13 year old watch say Saw or human centipede. Like the game they are 18's.

Yes. The Human Centipede is fecking hilarious. And a very good example of why you should always look for an authority figure such as a policeman rather than knocking on random doors.

I've not seen Saw so cannot comment.

OddlyLogical · 29/10/2015 21:43

I let my 16yr old play it. We have talked about it and I'm in the same room most of the time.
I wouldn't have let him play it at 13.

HormonalHeap · 29/10/2015 22:07

BabyGanoush it's called At the end of the road with ds 15.

Happfeet2911 · 30/10/2015 00:10

They will play it anyway, don't forget they are far more tech savvy than you anyway, it's just a game!

bloodyteenagers · 30/10/2015 00:12

Unless the child has a good paying job, doesn't matter how tech savvy they are. They still going to need the bank of parents to pay.

RalphSteadmansEye · 30/10/2015 00:22

Ds is 15 and it wouldn't occur to him to ask for a game like that. He and his mates all play more geeky games like science world building games or Napoleonic war strategy games. He's not allowed to watch 18 films either.

I was talking to a yr 12 student at school the other day who's not allowed 18 films or games and I was a little surprised as I think I would let ds watch some 18s by 16.5 or so. I know he won't want violent games, though, as they just don't interest him.

pinotblush · 30/10/2015 00:27

I said no too. it was hyped up to ridiculousness. son got it at 16 and never really got on with it. its what goes on at home that matters not a game.