To not let my 13 year old DS own Grand Theft Auto

[Flyonthewindscreen]

Sorry - I know this has been done before.

Consider myself a pretty laid back parent re gaming. DS has an xbox one and only games now that he knows he is not allowed are various 18 games I (and DH) consider beyond the pale. GTA is one of them. I found out last night that DS had downloaded GTA onto his Xbox and been playing it for weeks. I hadn't checked what he had been up to online very recently because he had previously been pretty trustworthy.

Game now deleted and trust lost. But DS claims that literally every other boy he knows of his age and younger has the game and having looked at who he has played with online I am inclined to believe him. This includes kids from all kinds of schools with parents in all kinds of occupations so no stereotype of the sort of parent who clearly aren't bothered about their DC being on violent, sexually explicit games.

Am I being precious or is it every other parent round here that IBU?

I won't have it, and apparently yes EVERYONE else has it.

Actually I know that a lot of kids do have it. But then a lot of kids let their 4 year olds watch Dr Who, and let 9 year olds watch 12 and 15 films.

In my house, we follow the age on the pack, from PG to 18 at age 18. I am quite happy to put up with complaints.

I do know that they play it at other people's houses. And I know that ds watches youtube videos based on it. I am realistic, but when he asks, I tell him not only is it violent, but some of the language in it is really offensive, and I won't have it in the house.

As a pp said ds knows that I have some principles that he considers madness, and this is just one of them!

Oh Ffs like we weren't all watching shite at that age. I know ten and eleven year olds that have the game.

Thanks Steppe I thought I'd fallen into the Matrix there. Absolutely just obey the numbers on the box. Your life will be about a million times earlier if you can just point and say 'but you're not 15/18/whatever.'

I've caved on every other game but not GTA - I hate it, and 16 yr old DS reluctantly lives with that. He's been told that when he lives elsewhere, he can have it, and he's ok with that.

and actually, at the moment we don't have a PS, x box or a Wii.

We are thinking of getting one for our 3 to share for Christmas. Ds will be 13, he knows GTA and CofD are not options. He wants FIFA.

The thing is, I hate the way the game portrays women, and there is a lot of discussion at the moment about teenage sexuality and the effect of the internet and porn. I think games like GTA are also feeding into very unhealthy sexual attitudes. When I ban something I explain why. The first is the age on the box, but then I explain about the content and why it is offensive and why I don't like it. How games liek this influence the way society views women.
ds listens and takes on board what I say and then it makes him see things a little differently. (I hope!)

My boys are 13 and play GTA 5 and COD. I don't like the strip club aspect of GTA but the rest isnt that bad, very tongue in cheek. Even in marvel lego you can run people over and shoot. However I make sure any visiting children don't play it without permission. I would say play it first and see how you feel. It is the only game I got half addicted to and am not a gamer!

I am relaxed and use judgement with film ages. Spent my childhood watching late night films. Happy with them watching 15s On the whole.

Not at 13 i probably wouldn't but then thinking about whether you would let them watch 15/18 films, i now think i would simply go by their maturity.
I played the first or second gta at 16. Yes i drove around and spent most of the game running people over. It was purely to get the money and to get away from the police.
I'm not very good following storylines!
I watched 15 and 18 films as a teenager with my parents. All the old school horrors. ( probably why i'm such a horror fanatic now!)
However my dad knew how much i liked it after catching me sneakily watching one one night.
They never scared me, i knew it weren't real life.
Things that actually scared me and had any effect on me was the news.

I think it's really, really sad that we live in a world where people enjoy playing a role that is everything a decent person wouldn't want to be. It's just wrong and you are right to go with your instincts, OP. Stick to your guns. You can't expect your son to make his own decisions rather than going with the crowd if you are making key parenting choices on the basis of anonymous strangers telling you that their children were allowed to do it.

I won't pretend to have read the research but I understand there is a link between violent crime and playing games like these. It is outrageous that games like this exist.

I also cannot understand how anyone could say confidently that their child's psychology was definitely not affected by hours spent playing these games.

I think I was about 8 when the first grand theft auto game came out and there wasn't the emphasis we have today to check what kids are playing.

I played it since that age and have played every new version of it and I don't think it's had any impact on me besides enjoying playing video games.

I know a school where l there is a boy with a gamer/programmer older brother. There is also a 'gang' of 10 year old boys who formed the 'rapists gang'. These boys jumped on top of another 10 year old boy (a pile-on) - one of them said "we are gonna rape you" and another got off and said "woo hoo my first rape".

When the parents were called in, all bar one set denied that their boy could have been involved, and then when their kids admitted it all said "they don't know what it means or why they said it.

Two weeks on and it comes out that all 5 of them own and play GTA5, and older brother had gifted them some 'additional gameplay'.

Parents still don't want to take any responsibility and are torn between blaming the jumped-on boy (for being too sensitive) and the older brother. Never mind that if they didn't have GTA in the first place the older brother couldn't have 'tweaked' what they had.

Yeah, I'm sure some 10 year olds could cope/wouldn't do this - but how do you know which type you have until it happens? I am a firm believer that age restrictions are there for good reason and see no benefit in going against them.

Most games are quite mean spirited though.

Monopoly is basically about charging people extortionate rents and bankrupting them just because the other player has to live somewhere and really has no other choice.

People actually do that. No wonder we have a housing crisis.

Very few people are driving around like a loon, shooting random people and stealing cars. It does happen but they're in the minority.

I know people who seem to be perfectly normal parents who allowed their children to play this game since they were in primary school. My son also says that most of his friends play it and I have no reason to not believe him. I think many children that young play it.

But the fact that so many chldren play it doesn't mean that is apropriate, just that their parents are not that bothered in checking what their children are into.

I felt very strongly about GTA when DS was that sort of age and in the end he stopped nagging about it. I don't think he was playing it at friends' houses - they were all more into FIFA and some of the war games (wasn't allowed 16 games till over 15 so I was clearly the most unfair mother in the world). The other week he asked about it out of the blue as his friends now had it and I said yes. He's nearly eighteen

Hi op, I think it depends on the child largely. I've never really had a problem with my son (now nearly 17) playing any games from 13. Put i've always been very close to him and knew what he saw as acceptable and for effect etc. He might call me in to show me some stupid gun or costume hed got and it was clearly ridiculous to us both.
If he had been a closed typical teen always in his room and I felt I didn't have a handle on what was going on for him I might have felt differently. Do agree that they play all sorts round others houses anyway so is hard to police really and like a post above I remember the first couple of GTA which were brilliant games, funny and tongue in cheek rather than just violent. There is still that element to the games but I can see why others wouldn't like them. Similarly with the saints row games.

"I also cannot understand how anyone could say confidently that their child's psychology was definitely not affected by hours spent playing these games"

I think is affected, it normalises violence, and it teaches them unsuspected skills.

DS is not allowed to play COD or GTA, and I normally check the pg ratings and parents reviews before buying a 15/18 game, but even when DS had mainly been shooting aliens for a year or so, I cannot say I wasn't surprised when he was able to reliable shot clay pigeons the first and only time he touched a gun (this was at a countryside game fair, not that I'm taking him to shooting ranges or anything of the sort).

Indeed - it normalises violence.

It's not that your 8 year old boy will go and steal a car, pick up a hooker, and then shoot someone in RL. But games like GTA perpetuate the myth that guns are cool toys and women are there for sex.

We all complain that women are treated as objects, and girls are sexualised at younger ages. Kids are more aggressive. Yet we go "oh no, it's just a game"

As a guy who plays games, and is now a father, I'll offer my thoughts.

First off, yes, loads of kids play GTA. This is not necessarily right or wrong, but it's up to the parent and how the child reacts. In the TC's case, their child mainly broke the trust - I'd say that's pretty unforgivable. But, nevertheless, it's up to the parent what their child plays.

Before I go any further, I will mention that I think all modern consoles (certainly the Xbox 360 has it) have parental controls. These will allow you to set up accounts for your child (and password-protect other accounts), and only allow them to play certain games, or games that meet a certain age range. Have a look in the manuals, and make sure your console has the latest dashboard updates.

I used to play the original GTA as a teen, and at the time (and even now) I'd say it didn't do me any harm. However, everyone's different. When Superman first appeared on our TV screens there were stories of kids imitating him and injuring themselves in the process, believing they could fly.

Games are no longer just for kids - which is something a lot of people (including retailers - always like going in Smyths and seeing GTA on the shelves next to Peppa Pig) need to realise. Working in GAME in my university years, we'd have loads of kids trying to get their parents to buy them GTA/BMX XXX/Manhunt or whatever the flavour of the month was. Even after saying "this game contains blah blah blah" the parent would normally still say "oh it's just a game" (including one time when a father bought an 18-rated game for his son, and his mother tried to get me fired when his father lied and said I sold it to the son without him knowing - fortunately the till roll proved a credit card was used rather than the cash the father said he gave the son, and I got to hear the mother give the father a right bollocking down the phone when I told her to check the receipt).

For those who are unsure about buying games, I say this - first off, check the age rating, and then also have a look at the back of the game's box. Think: if this was a DVD, would you buy it for your child?

And by the way, yanbu.

And for people complaining about the portrayal of women, can I suggest (perhaps lightheartedly) having a look at the Saints Row series? Basically the same as GTA (still with the portrayal of women in many cases), except you can play as a woman if you choose. That may help even things up.

Oh, and in one bit you get involved in a chariot race, pulled by men in gimp suits.

I have gta but my DC are only allowed to play skylanders Disney infinity and other games like that.

I do allow DD aged 6 to play pegi 7 games, but that's the only age restriction that I am relaxed about.

There are several boys in my two ds's classes who have been playing it since last year at least, so from age 7. My kids know better than to ask for it now and they know they're not to watch their friends playing it either. The sexualised language they have learnt in the last year really saddens me. I don't want to be asked what rape or dildo means when they are only 8 and 10, and have them making wanking gestures.

I understand that kids learn things like this but it just seems too young to me.

Look, yes mine did the saints row very amused by it at times.
I know it won't be a popular opinion but I genuinely believe some children completely understand any violence or ridiculousness is within the context of the game. Of course we teach our kids what is and isn't ok and to say a computer came negates all that is just not true. Having said that I do feel certain kids or kids from neglectful or violent homes may be influenced somewhat...but I feel otherwise it's like saying peppa pig games teach kids that pigs can talk.surely you need to know your child and what they can and cannot process appropriately...

I absolutely love this series, and own every single game in it, some of them on several different consoles.

I wouldn't let a 13-year-old play it.

I really don't get the angst about GTA.

They basically nick cars, complete mafia type missions and have police chases. Gta will not turn them into gang members or give nightmares.