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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect a text after we slept together?

606 replies

BigOCupOfTea · 25/10/2015 13:43

So I've been seeing a guy for around a month and we had our fifth date and I stayed at his and we slept together.

We both left early as he had work.

He would have finished work by now and I've heard nothing from him.

Am I expecting too much?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ScarletRuby2 · 25/10/2015 16:14

I'm going to stop banging my head off the table to tell you to stop playing games and text him. Why do people make dating so complicated? It's only complicated if you make it that way.

NotNob · 25/10/2015 16:14

What have you decided, OP?

CainInThePunting · 25/10/2015 16:18

Presumably you must have had some conversation with him before you left each other this morning?
How did you leave things?
I'd probably just text him.

Muckogy · 25/10/2015 16:18

i would not text him.
but that's me all over.

how long in terms of weeks, not actual dates, have you been dating him?

ilovesooty · 25/10/2015 16:19

The OP said around a month.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 25/10/2015 16:20

I would of wanted a text. Of course the OP wants a bloody text. It's not needy to want a hello after having sex. Jesus. I don't think it's game playing either. Yes the OP could text him first but do people really not get that the op would just like to receive a message ? that especially in this day and age, it's just all a bit awkward and no one knows what to do.

I mean, they had sex, which is the most intimate thing you can do with a person and she just wants a bloody text and people are calling her needy, ffs.

Muckogy · 25/10/2015 16:21

ok.
thanks sooty.

goddessofsmallthings · 25/10/2015 16:23

Why wouldn't I text the guy I had sex with the night before, Worra?

If it was the first time I'd shagged him I'd wait until the flowers arrive before sending a text of appreciation Grin

As it happens that's not too far from the truth, but it's also the case that I don't emotionally invest in any guy unless they've made it abundantly clear in word and deed over a considerable period of time that they've emotionally invested in me.

I couldn't be doing with the 'will he or won't he' angst the OP's going through. In her circumstances, if I hadn't heard within a couple of days I'd assume he's fallen under a bus not that into me and I wouldn't take it personally - it'd be a case of consenting adults, no harm done, no blame, no shame.

ilovesooty · 25/10/2015 16:23

Yes I get that she would like a text. I think it's possible he might like a text too.

Original poster
BigOCupOfTea · 25/10/2015 16:25

Well we had sex again in the morning, and I think we both enjoyed it. I definitely did.

His last relationship was a 2 year one which ended 5 months ago and hes not been with anyone since.

I know I personally won't text him if he doesn't text me.

He still hasn't text me.

OP posts:
roundaboutthetown · 25/10/2015 16:26

Maybe he's wondering whether she likes him any more, because the OP hasn't sent him a text. Grin

PontyGirl · 25/10/2015 16:27

Not going to lie, this would piss me off.

00100001 · 25/10/2015 16:28

OH. MY. GOSH.

Either fucking text him or stop whining that he hasn't been in touch.

He might be sitting there thinking exactly the same thing, wondering whether to text or not.

JUST SEND THAT TEXT.

for all of PPs sanity

Bluecheese22 · 25/10/2015 16:28

I'd be pissed off too, but I don't understand why you wouldn't just text him?

ilovesooty · 25/10/2015 16:29

Well obviously we're divided into those who have the notion that the man has to make the first move and those of us who don't think it matters who does. I'll never understand the former point of view really. I thought women in this day and age had moved beyond that.

SurferJet · 25/10/2015 16:29

Op.
Don't text him.
( & I'd be seriously pissed off that he hadn't text. )

poocatcherchampion · 25/10/2015 16:30

Any news?

I remember this and hate it.

Text him the good morning if you don't hear.

Original poster
BigOCupOfTea · 25/10/2015 16:30

Either fucking text him or stop whining that he hasn't been in touch.

I was updating people on the thread.

I think its nice for an op to update when people invest a little time in them by sending them a reply.

But if this is the type of reaction that I'm going to get for doing that then whats the point?

OP posts:
DanglyEarrings · 25/10/2015 16:30

I don't agree! I'd rather throw my phone in a pond than text a man first!

DoveCazzoEIlMioCaffe · 25/10/2015 16:32

I'm so glad I no longer date

THIS!! In buckets!
Some days I'm so glad I did all this shit in the good old days of the telephone! Grin

DanglyEarrings · 25/10/2015 16:32

xpost - don't worry OP I would feel the same!

ilovesooty · 25/10/2015 16:34

I feel sorry for men dating if this is the way some women really think.

Original poster
BigOCupOfTea · 25/10/2015 16:34

I thought women in this day and age had moved beyond that.

Yes Sooty believe me you have made that abundantly clear.

Each date we've been on we've split the cost. Sometimes I'll be the one to text him in the morning and sometimes its him.

The same with calling each other.

But yes in this instance I would like him to text me first.

Sometimes people have different views and opinions to you and it doesn't always mean they're wrong. It just means they are different to you.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/10/2015 16:37

Of course I acknowledge people have different views but you asked if you were BU. I think you are and some agree. Some think you aren't.

iPaid · 25/10/2015 16:37

Would you like me to text him for you? I can't stand the suspense!