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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect a text after we slept together?

606 replies

BigOCupOfTea · 25/10/2015 13:43

So I've been seeing a guy for around a month and we had our fifth date and I stayed at his and we slept together.

We both left early as he had work.

He would have finished work by now and I've heard nothing from him.

Am I expecting too much?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
BitOfFun · 26/10/2015 00:19

I'd have said DON'T TEXT.

PreciousxBane · 26/10/2015 02:29

I know technology is constantly at peoples fingertips and this isnt so much about who should text first but do people really stay in contact so much when dating?

To be in touch a few times a day, is that the done thing now?

OfficeGirl1969 · 26/10/2015 03:01

Maybe she hasn't said anything further because she was dashing off out in a mad hurry to see him again.
Maybe his text wasn't quite what she'd hoped for and she's having some time to think it over.
Maybe she came back, saw everything had gone rather bonkers and decided to stay away.
Personally, I just hope she's ok and not unhappy, and that whatever he did text back was what she'd hoped for....

StrawberryTeaLeaf · 26/10/2015 03:46

I'm fancying Robert Peston on the swingometer.

We all have our little perversions Smile

I would probably have been a bit "Hmm" at him not texting me by now, if I'm honest, but I'd also have text him a few hours ago.

But WHY? He could be doing exactly what OP is doing. Or analyzing the night's events and imagining he blew it somehow.

StrawberrytallCake · 26/10/2015 06:09

Must be quite cathartic for OP...

Lots of people waiting for a text response after sharing so much...

just pm her first?

Wtfmummy · 26/10/2015 06:46

I can't believe I've just read this whole f'ing thread and there is no update at the end...! I'm itching to know what the text said - how does the story end????

HackerFucker22 · 26/10/2015 06:54

So 22 pages in and all we know is he text yesterday evening and the OP has gone awol?

I am not over invested enough to read the whole thread (I posted on page 1 or 2!!!) but did anything interesting or conclusive actually happen?

Did he text op and tell her he loves her? Or did he dump her via text? Or did op just say he text and vanish ?

MilkyChops · 26/10/2015 06:57

You lots are blinking bonkers Grin

I think I'll go back to sleep deprivation and weaning for my sanity.

x2boys · 26/10/2015 06:59

Op did say she was going out for dinner last night? she night be to busy to be updating mn?

WhatamessIgotinto · 26/10/2015 07:10

This is one of those threads when you know that the OP wishes they'd never started.

hairbrushbedhair · 26/10/2015 07:32

This is bizarre

Are people joke upset at being left hanging or actually cross?Confused I can't tell

I don't see why OP is required to give further details which could potentially out her. If he read this he could wonder if it was about him but probably conclude it could be about a million other people, unless he then reads his own text on an update!

I think it's very funny OP was getting bashed for being unsettled by him not texting and now people who bashed her are unsettled themselves for essentially the same thing, the irony is hilarious

Still. I can't tell if it's meant to be ironic and a clever joke or genuine annoyance Confused

bimandbam · 26/10/2015 07:36

I was being ironic.

I hope that the op is wafting around at work now, smiling to herself, blissfully loved up after another night of passion. Ime the second night is always better than the first.

StrawberrytallCake · 26/10/2015 07:48

Joking 1 Cross 0

Axekick · 26/10/2015 07:51

I was actually joking too. Did not expect the OP to give details.

It all got a bit weird after that.

I choose to think she is blissfully happy some where with her new fella.Grin

Wonky · 26/10/2015 07:58

When she got the text everyone assumed it was a good one, well pretty much everyone. Made it too hard to post again maybe? Flowers op.

DixieNormas · 26/10/2015 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

differentnameforthis · 26/10/2015 08:00

Well obviously we're divided into those who have the notion that the man has to make the first move and those of us who don't think it matters who does. I'll never understand the former point of view really. I thought women in this day and age had moved beyond that.

Snap. We want equality, except in situations like this, where a man has to "prove" something after sex.

there are no set in stone rules about texting, but I'd much prefer the man to text me. I guess I just want to know he cares & is thinking of me. Is a man now allowed to think this way too?

OMG how did we survive the morning after sex without mobile phones....

SurferJet · 26/10/2015 08:08

*Today 07:48 StrawberrytallCake

Joking 1 Cross 0

Can you add 'mildly interested' ?

Axekick · 26/10/2015 08:16

When she got the text everyone assumed it was a good one

possibly. Although I am not assuming it was. In the absence of knowing, I am erring on the positive side.

MoriartyIsMyAngel · 26/10/2015 08:17

So, the thread started off "I'm a bit worried I haven't had a text from the man I slept with last night" - typical response "What a saddo you are needing an update within hours."

And the thread appears to be book-ending with several people desperate for an update. So neat and tidy!

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 26/10/2015 08:20

LOL, OP is a bit of an attention seeker in my mind.

Both on here & in RL.

Run fella, run.....

CurlyhairedAssassin · 26/10/2015 08:22

"OMG how did we survive the morning after sex without mobile phones..."

Exactly. Maybe that's what is dividing opinion here. No-one had mobiles when DH and I started dating. We spoke on the phone or in person and so could gauge from each other's voices how we both felt. Must be a minefield today. Interesting though, that even though I'm probably older than a lot of posters for whom dating via Internet and text seems to be the norm, that I am on the equality side of things. Bollocks to this men have to make the first move after sex idea. Christ, so depressing to think that in this day and age of improved gender equality , that we seem to have gone back to the 1980s and earlier, DESPITE all this technology floating about.

I am a dater of the 90s. At least The Spice Girls with their "girl power" got something right in my opinion. We're going backwards and will soon be angsting over blokes like we're in a Jane Austen novel at this rate.

SuperFlyHigh · 26/10/2015 08:40

So then OP has he proposed or asked you to move in via text?! After the sex... Grin

For the sake of all our weeks we need to know plus work is boring for me at the mo

SurferJet · 26/10/2015 09:17

Christ, so depressing to think that in this day and age of improved gender equality , that we seem to have gone back to the 1980s and earlier, DESPITE all this technology floating about

Technology cannot replace your inner most feelings, your heart, soul, & mind - thankfully, a piece of tech 7 inches long has not changed how I feel about dating etiquette & how men should treat woman.

If I had to text the man first ( after our 'first night' of sex ) then I'd feel a bit used & it defo wouldn't feel right.

We haven't been turned into robots quite yet.

Axekick · 26/10/2015 09:32

If I had to text the man first ( after our 'first night' of sex ) then I'd feel a bit used & it defo wouldn't feel right.

I think I just don't get why you expect him to not feel used if you didn't text him, I suppose.

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