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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Cheryl was Cole is...

218 replies

40thisisit · 24/10/2015 20:50

Far far too skinny, it's not attractive, how does she stay alive?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

WorraLiberty · 25/10/2015 21:50

Ahh my mistake Polly, sorry.

OddSocksHighHeels · 25/10/2015 21:53

For comparison sake: this is me at 5"1 and 6 1/12 stone.

Grapeeatingweirdo · 26/10/2015 21:49

Totally against body shaming here. What I will contribute though, even as a huge fan of Cheryl, is that I find it very difficult to look at her when she is on TV now.

Forget the "she's too thin, she's too fat" angle, because everyone's perspective on that is totally subjective and coloured by personal experience.

What I will say is that I am a recovered anorexic and it makes me very uncomfortable to watch Cheryl on the X Factor as she looks tired, gaunt and unhealthy - weight aside. She's been very thin before but she had a sparkle in her eye that made you look past that.

Something seems to be wrong and it's instinct, not a body shaming attitude that is telling me that. She's a beautiful woman though, and I love her music. Only human is a good album.

Bambambini · 26/10/2015 22:53

I don't think it's thin women that people have a problem with. It's when you see someone who looked great and now looks much thinner, gaunt and more ill and you wonder if it's stress/ health related or if they are being put under the huge pressure women in the public eye often face to starve themselves to an unrealistic and unhealthy body shape. Especially when young girls are being bombarded with this image and message and then see those they look up to going down this path.

AyeAmarok · 26/10/2015 23:07

The body-shaming of slim people dressed up as faux-concern is particularly nauseating, I find.

Bambambini · 26/10/2015 23:17

Well eat your biscuit then, or two.

hollyisalovelyname · 26/10/2015 23:35

She is stunning looking but too thin.

WorraLiberty · 26/10/2015 23:42

I see what you're saying Bambambini, and when you say "Especially when young girls are being bombarded with this image and message and then see those they look up to going down this path."

But they're also being bombarded on a daily basis with not just 'images' of overweight/obese people, but the reality of it too.

Many people in their everyday lives that they also look up to....like parents/aunts/uncles/teachers/HCPs etc, are becoming more and more overweight.

They are the real role models for children, especially if those children are their own.

Yet people like the OP, prefer to point the finger at celebrities rather than looking closer to home when it comes to messages about weight and health.

Ironically the OP has said in the past (and yes I did AS her, and no I don't care if it's 'bad form') that people shouldn't be so judgemental about other people's weight.

But I guess that was ok because at the time, she was talking about fat people being judged.

Body shaming is body shaming, no matter what size the person's body happens to be.

Bambambini · 27/10/2015 00:35

Worra - i'm just so cynical and untrusting of the media. I see the likes of VB and CC who looked fantastic and healthy (strong) before the weight loss and i wonder what they see in the mirror. It's not the celebs that push this but the industry that demands a totally unrealistc image. But no, i don't want to body shame but i don't want to have to pretend that these celebs look at their best after the drastic weight loss. Saw pics of CC in the papers earlier and she does look more like her usual self compared to a while back.

Runningupthathill82 · 27/10/2015 07:52

But the point is Bamba, is it our business if Cheryl at al are looking "their usual self" or " at their best"? Er, no.
There'd be an outcry on here if someone pointed out that Kelly Clarkson wasn't looking "her best" after putting on weight after having a baby, or Britney Spears gaining weight after a breakdown.
But when CC loses weight after a difficult time in her life, it's open season, and she's a "bad role model"? Fuck that.

Utterlyclueless · 27/10/2015 08:18

Bambi by you saying ' I wonder what they see in the mirror' you're kind of assuming they're suffering from an ED without actually having any proof that they do. It's really not our business.

Utterlyclueless · 27/10/2015 08:18

Bamba* hate my phone

The80sweregreat · 27/10/2015 08:35

she is fine I am sure, she looks well and I envy her figure ( 2 stone overweight , on a constant diet and menopausal) I was as thin as she was in my twenties, but just took it for granted. I wouldn't now!

DinosaursRoar · 27/10/2015 10:00

GrapeEating - she's been quite open about having a lot of family trauma going on, which is probably what you are seeing with the lack of 'spark' in her eyes. She's struck me as someone 'going through the motions' at work. She's not said exactly what the "family crisis" in her family is, other than it's been reported she's driving up to Newcastle as much as possible between filming, and the fact that her DH's dad died and she was supporting her DH through that has been public.

It's interesting just how many people on here really don't seem to believe she's not chosen to lose weight. It's interesting how we expect woman in the public eye to be so in control of their diet, no matter what's going on in their private life.

Leelu6 · 27/10/2015 10:49

I am a dietician, have seen many shapes and sizes and have a good understanding...

Then you should understand that skinny doesn't always mean unhealthy.

Sounds like sour grapes to me...

SuckingEggs · 28/10/2015 10:50

Well said, Running

Dontlaugh · 28/10/2015 23:15

Stress in families can have a huge impact on weight, unwittingly.
On the road to hospital or a house, miss lunch, none there when you arrive, people to talk to (healthcare related etc), then it's bedtime.
I remember being in a hospital room (child was patient, long term), being told consultants were on their way. I couldn't/wouldn't leave, then it was after lunchtime when all was done, and I had no stomach for food.
My GP was correct, eating is a habit. For better or worse. So if we eat to comfort ourselves, then that's the habit. If we don't eat, then that is also a habit, and hard to break out of. The stomach shrinks, we don't miss that feeling of fullness.
Balance in all approaches is good - eat well, feel well. And those that are not able, for whatever reason, help them, as much as possible. Leave it to the professionals (where that applies, usually the undereaters, the overeaters where they present through health conditions) to intervene.

I say that as someone undergoing huge stress, and not looking after myself at this point. But I will, because all this will pass.

Dontlaugh · 28/10/2015 23:18

Oddsockshighheels I wish you well on your recovery, I am sure you have much support and hope you realise that your photo portrays you looking very ill. There's no other way to say it.
Much love.

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