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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hateful disgusting pig of a husband

264 replies

leavemealone2015 · 18/10/2015 23:37

When my h and I have a disagreement about something, or if I appeal to him to behave differently or criticise him, it seems as if it's no coincidence that he often belches or breaks wind apparently spontaneously, but publicly .. As if he is using this as a bullying tactic. Is this something bullies do? Also leaving the door open while loudly passing water but as if it is on purpose .He does other things with poor manners such as lick the lids of yoghurts and lick plates at other times.
It seems to me he is doing this intentionally?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 19/10/2015 13:55

And yes licking a yogurt lid is rank.

WorkingClassHeroine · 19/10/2015 14:00

Well I can't get upset about yogurt lid-licking, that's just getting your money's worth. Plate licking is not a nice habit, and certainly not one to do in a public eatery....but we've been known to lick a plate after a particularly delicious dinner. We always make a half-arsed apology for it, but we are relaxed in each other's company.

Deliberately being obnoxious is not on though.

thefutureofpolitics · 19/10/2015 14:10

I get the feeling this is another silly post, someone who was perhaps a little drunk? It just reads like an over exaggeration of blokish behaviour. My other half breaks wind and burps seemingly on cue but not in public, he just does it to wind me up in a sort of silly playful way. I can't really see how anybody would do these things in a bullying way, most people have more respect for themselves than to do it in public. There are loads of these silly posts around at the moment, either just people being silly or some living in La-la-land. The last one I saw was someone claiming to be a writer earning loads of money but their grasp on the English language was that limited that they must specialise in colouring books. I think I will stick to the music threads ... and if somebody could start more of them off, it would be most appreciated! Wink

HopefulAnxiety · 19/10/2015 14:14

Read the thread. Doesn't sound silly at all to me. It is clearly done in a bullying way.

Most men don't use bodily functions to intimidate their partners.

annielouise · 19/10/2015 14:15

It's one up from a toddler blowing a raspberry at you when you say something you don't like. Your DH is being completely disrespectful. He's not accidentally farting or burping to coincide when you say something, the fart and the burp are his response to what you are actually saying. I'd rather he'd say just fuck why don't you - nice and straight. This way he's trying to humiliate too.

ouryve · 19/10/2015 14:18

It's the rules to lick yoghurt lids. DS1 says so.

now to read beyond the first post.

Spero · 19/10/2015 14:19

I think living with someone who despises you is pretty grim and as you both despise each other, you both have my sympathy - up to a point. Ultimately, you are both choosing to live with someone who despises you, which is madness

Wot Barbarianmum said.

She describes him as a 'hateful disgusting pig'. This marriage is dead in the water whether its over farting, belching, peeing or anything else.

nippiesweetie · 19/10/2015 14:32

Axekick I don't know if she's talking about herself or not. I was only asking the question because of her own reference to Sons and Lovers. Maybe she sees parallels to her own life.

ouryve · 19/10/2015 14:34

And so glad I did, if only to avoid investing any more thought in a reply that would be ignored.

I suspect the OP's at school, AF

ohdearymeee · 19/10/2015 14:39

My exh used to have quite excessive wind - more than anyone else in the family (when we had consumed the same food) and would make it quite audible during evening times and at the dinner table, also while guests were present - I found it disgusting, he saw nothing wrong in it and thought it was funny (in a manchild way).. wasn't so funny when I left him...

thefutureofpolitics · 19/10/2015 14:40

HopefulAnxiety I have read the thread but I also read the original message and it just seems like an exaggeration of silly blokish behaviour. Early on in our relationship, if my other half burped and farted, he knew he would get a reaction, something along the lines of "ew, that's horrible!" But then I just ignored it and he doesn't seem to do it anymore, or less often anyway. It was certainly never in public though. If this is a genuine problem the man in question has with his bodily functions or if it is bullying, then I feel genuinely sorry for the original poster. If this is for real and he did that to humiliate me in public, then Windy Miller would have been dumped a long time ago. That is a serious lack of respect for himself as well as others, I don't think there are many people that insensitive. Or maybe I have lived a very sheltered life. Bullied by gas ... what is the world coming to?!

MerryMarigold · 19/10/2015 14:46

I lick yoghurt lids. On purpose. To disgust dh. Hmm What a waste of yoghurt otherwise? (And good gravy left on plates too, it cannot go to waste).

Dh farts and I hate it and have asked him to stop, but he doesn't. I don't think he is doing it to dominate me though. I think he can't be bothered especially as it's usually in the morning when he is half asleep.

Sounds like more is going on here.

LagunaBubbles · 19/10/2015 14:49

Im not saying its not bullying, just there isnt enough information to say this to me. OP says
if I appeal to him to behave differently or criticise him for example, criticise him about what? Behave differently about what? Thats not victim blaming or shaming but just trying to understand the dynamics of what is going on. Regardless relationship sounds awful, and the OP hasnt made it clear why she cant leave someone that disgusts her.

HopefulAnxiety · 19/10/2015 14:55

the but it's clearly NOT about the farting! It's about him totally demeaning her and not considering her worthy of respect. He could easily do the same thing via something else.

Clearly OP needs to leave as they both hate each other.

Branleuse · 19/10/2015 14:58

your marriage is over. You hate him, he doesnt sound particularly into you either. Stop delaying the inevitable. You are completely repulsed by him

thefutureofpolitics · 19/10/2015 15:09

OK, I get you on that, I really do. Maybe I'm just shocked that there are people that insensitive. Something is obviously keeping the original poster with her partner but goodness knows what from what she has written. I vote she just ignores his purposeful lack of manners because if it is a bullying tactic, it will all be about reaction. No reaction = no impetus to do such things and he will then feel that the only person he is letting down is himself.

ballerinabelle · 19/10/2015 15:10

People seem to be keen to just end marriages because of burping and farting! Hmm

ImperialBlether · 19/10/2015 15:13

It's not that though, is it, ballerina? It's not that at all. Can't you understand what's actually going on here?

Seeyounearertime · 19/10/2015 15:14

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LagunaBubbles · 19/10/2015 15:20

Can't you understand what's actually going on here?

Its difficult to understand based on the scant information.

BringMeTea · 19/10/2015 15:23

Prefer a literary allusion to DH Lawrence than In The Night Garden any day of the week though to be fair. Cerebral goadiness preferable to twee shite.

Axekick · 19/10/2015 15:24

I think the OP referenced the book to hint she was taking the piss, tbh. Not to explain the situation.

thefutureofpolitics · 19/10/2015 15:46

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SquirrelledAway · 19/10/2015 15:49

A quick search would tell you that this isn't OP's first thread about her DH.

Sallystyle · 19/10/2015 16:21

it's more fun accusing someone of being a troll than doing a quick search.