Hateful disgusting pig of a husband

[leavemealone2015]

When my h and I have a disagreement about something, or if I appeal to him to behave differently or criticise him, it seems as if it's no coincidence that he often belches or breaks wind apparently spontaneously, but publicly .. As if he is using this as a bullying tactic. Is this something bullies do? Also leaving the door open while loudly passing water but as if it is on purpose .He does other things with poor manners such as lick the lids of yoghurts and lick plates at other times.
It seems to me he is doing this intentionally?

DontStop - so imagine you are trying to express something your OH has done that has upset you like undermine you in front of the DC, you have carefully explained how you feel and the response you get is a loud fart. Nothing else. That is how. Is is a clear message that your feelings are so pathetic that I can't even give them a verbal response.

It lasted about five seconds !!

I agree with little. I don't think he's a bully or aggressive because he farts. If my partner was always telling me to change, as her example stop farting i'd prob do it more just to piss him off, especially if it was in my house.
As for weeing too loudly??
If it really bothers you, close the door.
You maybe able to sit down and have a proper conversation if you stopped criticising him.
If my partner came out with this i'd do it more to wind them up.
The way you talk about him you clearly don't like him, so i wonder how you actually put your feelings across?
If you can't stand him then you need to leave.
Then you both can find someone who makes each other happy.

I see the nearly midnight troll thread has started

It's a bloke thing, trust me, my other half does things like this all the time. When we first met, he was terrible for pretty much everything you have mentioned above and I attempted to get him to act differently but it just made him do it even more. Then I just decided to just let it go over my head and he has been a lot more, shall we say, refined recently because things like that weren't getting a reaction anymore. I have found that men are very much like children: If they aren't getting a reaction to something, they are less likely to do it.

If you've reached a point where you are full of disgust, loathing and contempt then you need to leave. You can't live with someone who repels you like this.

I would hate to be with someone who belched and farted publicly and with impunity and thought it was no big deal, or used it as a way to irritate me on purpose. But other people would not be especially bothered by it.

It's not about whether it's right or wrong, it's about the fact that you have reached a point where you have no respect and no affection for him.

I think both parties were very pissed last night. Hopefully things will have calmed down now the cider has worn off.

He has no respect for you, and none for himself either.

If you cant leave him all you can hope for is one day when He is, quite literally , talking through his backside he seriously underestimates how much gusto to put into it and he shites himself instead. If that doesn't shit him up then nothing will.

There really is so little encouragement to offer when someone says they cant leave a person that Im at a loss to try and help you. But yes, licking plates, the belching etc would put me off someone as well - even without the spite.

I wouldn't call it bullying, but he's certainly being immature and deliberately doing it to get under your skin.

It's a bloke thing, trust me

No. It's a boy thing. My husband, who acts like a grown ass man does not belch in public or fart as hard as he can to make noise. He closes the door when he goes to the bathroom.

I have found that men are very much like children: If they aren't getting a reaction to something, they are less likely to do it.

That's an incredibly depressing view on men.

The men I hang around with are respectful to those around them and don't deliberately annoy other people unless everyone involved knows it's in jest.

Why are you ignoring all the posters who have asked why you feel you can't leave?

He clearly thinks farting and weeing loudly is some kind of Alpha Male dominance strategy and is trying to get one over on you. What a miserable little man.

OP, possibly your husband is just a dirty pig, as you say.

Or possibly you're treating him so badly that he no longer sees the point in having a rational discussion with you and has decided to show his contempt for you instead. You describe him in such a nasty manner that I suspect this might be the problem. I doubt he broke wind at your marriage ceremony, and these things, unlike the wind, don't come out of a clear blue sky. If so, make a deal with him - you don't nag him and in return he doesn't eructate. Then, once you've got back to treating each other like adults you can get on with talking through the other issues you have.

You will know which of the two is correct.

Op you are avoiding answering the question of why you can't leave. Not sure why.

If you really can't leave and can't live with the behaviour, can you try counselling? Either alone or as a couple.

It's sounds like an unhappy marriage for both of you and you got trapped in cycles of behaviour.

I can't really say wether it's bullying or not, tbh. It could be, or it could be the only response he has to being criticised by you.

Just the plate licking alone would do it for me.

Yogourt lids are fair game. There's usually more on the lid than in the pot.

Next time he farts I would be tempted to ignite him. Sorry not helpful but yuk, he sounds awful.

Cross post with Toad she put it better than me

Those who think it is fine, the husband isn't doing this coincidentally every time is he?! Come on.

It is the equivalent of sticking your tongue out or giving the finger imo.

OP, why don't you leave him? Are you a sahm?

You don't like each other and this thread is nothing to do with bodily functions.

once you hold someone in this much contempt, it is OVER

You have not learned to resolve conflict in your relationship or argue productively. Instead you both want to argue, can't because you don't want the children to hear, so he farts instead because he can't argue. And you then feel contempt and the bodily functions become what you're arguing about instead of the undermining.

Either learn to resolve conflict or stop being together.

I wish that I could fart on demand.

I think Sgtmajor has it exactly right if you love him change your response if you don't leave him. I LOVE licking a plate after a roast dinner my dh really not keen on me doing it but he rolls his eyes and laughs I loathe his dirty fingernails but he's lazy not controlling. He's my best friend and I adore him. My first dp I reached the point of wanting to stab him in the eye every meal at home his manners were so bad eating with his mouth open but you know I took it as a sign it was over and I left, with two kids no real job or home and really struggled but you can't stay with a man whose behaviour disgusts you. It sounds like your marriage has broken down why on earth are you staying?

Good morning everybody!
How do things look in the light of a new day?

My "dawning" realisation is tha there are family, cultural and religious pressures on the OP not to leave her husband. I may very well be wrong, though.

You could be right Sgt, but on an anonymous forum, why couldn't the OP suggest that?

I got so annoyed by her ignoring the same request for further information that I didn't post.

Her husband sounds like a disrespectful oaf.

So OP what are you going to do about this situation?

My "dawning" realisation is tha there are family, cultural and religious pressures on the OP not to leave her husband. I may very well be wrong, though.

Once the question has been asked and the OP has chosen not to explain, there's not much else that can be said to help. IF this and IF that is like poking around in the dark.

OP, you cant change people. Ultimately you have to choose between the status quo and the upheaval of leaving.

(personally i chose the later)

He sounds deeply, deeply unattractive OP. Whether or not he is doing it on purpose - which it's pretty clear he is - it would be like being married to an adolescent who had the misfortune to have completely useless parents.

Perhaps PM some of the simpletons on this thread with his phone number. One of them might take him off your hands.

This thread is beyond depressing.

Men are like children? Then why do we leave them to run almost all the governments, armed forces, religions and large corporations of the world?

The husband didn't just fart loudly. He farted loudly, and told his wife that he would do as he liked in his own home. He was explicit that he was doing it to upset her, and show his dominance, almost literally pissing on his territory.

And as for doing it on the first date, etc. That's not the way it works is it? Of course she wouldn't have given him the time of day.

He has started doing it recently, because HE CAN.

Still, as others have pointed out, she can ask him to stop, which she has done, unsuccessfully, or live with it, or leave. (Or even just threaten to leave, but be prepared to carry it through.)

OP, I would suggest you post a new thread in Relationships. Give the whole story in your OP, and you will get very good support.