If you had good friends visiting you for the weekend

[DisappointedOne]

and then your parents arranged a family lunch, would you bring the frIends along (they wouldn't know anyone else there) for the meal or would you just decline the invitation and do what you'd already planned? WIBU?

My communication is pretty clear, I think, but having gotten sick of them DH now communicates with them. But he thinks all this is hunky dory.

Depends on the friends. I don't think it's terrible manners for your bil to being his friends along! Personally I've been made welcome at friends' families' meals and found it really lovely. If there's that many people there you won't have to speak to them if you don't want to.

Unbelievable. They phoned 30 mins ago to say they were on their way. They've just phoned again to say they're now on their way. FFS.

If it were me, I'd go out to the kitchen, make a plate of sandwiches and rustle around for something sweet to go with it. Then I'd put a big kettle of water on to boil and prep the tea tray.

The minute they walk in the door I'd plop it all on the table and say 'dig in because we're leaving in 1/2 hour'.

Leave.

If your dh is being such an arse he can get a train/bus.

There's no food here. DH has just eaten all the biscuits.

This is such bullshit. WIBU to never ever come here again?

seriously op I would leave. It's not okay.

so were you booked for lunch for 20 at 2pm - and they all ducked out today? is your child still sitting there waiting for lunch at 4pm?? and the ILs who insisted on thsi, are now busy with DIY/skip?

Yes. She's reading her homework book (that fuck I brought that) which ironically is all about food. We've none of us eaten, and we only had a light breakfast because we thought we'd be having a large meal at 2pm. We're still sat alone at their house waiting for them STILL.

Take control.

Get your child in the car and leave. Give your dh the option of coming. If he chooses not to then that's up to him.

He is being an idiot. His parents are being selfish twats. You are letting them get away with it.

Just go. leave them a note saying sorry, long journey ahead, DD hungry etc
Have a lovely meal on your way home and don't be in a hurry to come visit them again. Bloomin rude behaviour.
As to your initial Q, I would not drag along friends who did not know my family to a family dinner. If I could not put off the friends visit, I'd decline the family dinner. The only other option is, if the friends were staying for a while, ask them to entertain themsleves for half a day and do the family dinner. We do that with some friends - they stay with us but do some of their own days out without us.

OP, why aren't you leaving?

Just get your bag and tell DH you're off as DD needs feeding and bedtime.

Tell him you're stopping at a McDs on the way home.

Not something I want to subject DD to.

What McDs?

We all know what each other is doing and because eating together is very much part of our family life, we are always having lunches, a double booking would never occur. But it it did I would decline the invite. However, my friends not knowing anyone would have no part in me declining because we generally adopt a one big family approach to things and no one is a stranger.

Are you trying to MN in secret, OP?

Just that your responses seem a bit stilted.

It was a reverse?

Jesus!

And then there will be "outsiders" to deal with as well.

What its wrong with outsiders? Jeez. You might just have a bloody great laugh with them.

I think the 'don't want to subject DD to that' comment was not about McD's but about causing a scene with the DH if OP says they need to go. And probably the kid is excited about seeing the GPs and confused why they wouldn't see them having waited for hours in their house!

at the horror of subjecting a kid to McDonalds. But I suspect Phantom's analysis more accurate.

I'm feeling rage for you. This is ridiculous of them.

The casual friends joining in for a Sunday get together is perfectly reasonable. The organisation afterwards not so much. I'd have just said we are going to xx pub at 2 hope to see you there and then I'd go to the pub and enjoy lunch with whoever turned up.

OP, I can't believe there was literally nothing you could eat at your in laws? Or that you couldn't have just popped out and got something from the local shops.

Your DH is your biggest problem.

I hope you have been able to eat now.

The problem here is your partner, who should have just said 'well we are hungry so we are going for lunch. We'll see you later.'

Rather then always put you all out for them.

I stay with my best friend and her family fairly regularly and often get invited along to such things. Even an introvert like me can enjoy it!

I would ask my friend what they wanted to do, whether they wanted to come along or we could do something different. On occasion ive stayed at my friend's house with her dad and dog while she and her mum have gone out to something I didn't want to! So everyone is happy.