If you had good friends visiting you for the weekend

[DisappointedOne]

and then your parents arranged a family lunch, would you bring the frIends along (they wouldn't know anyone else there) for the meal or would you just decline the invitation and do what you'd already planned? WIBU?

I am indeed in the North, good luck!

"Let's do lunch at 2pm." It's 2:45pm, 15 of the invitees have dropped out and PILs are nowhere to be seen. DH has told them it's fine, we (I) can just drive back really late tonight instead of this afternoon. . Think I'll be digging a very big hole in the back garden tomorrow.

Why though? The advice didn't change.

Just go home for goodness sake!

15 people have now said they're now not coming, and your pil are a no show?

How bizarre. What's wrong with them/or you??

Can you see now why this family does my fucking head in?

Just go home. Still don't know why bils mates made an appearance

What an odd thread

Well you didn't say they were all flakey and the likelihood was that they wouldn't show up . Just that they wanted to meet up with you while you were making a rare visit to the area.

I think your problem isn't with the guests,bil or pil. Unless you've not told dh that you don't want to drive back late, then he's ignoring what you want, which is unfair as it sounds like you will be doing the driving.

Therefore your dh is the problem. Which makes your reverse redundant.

Tell dh that you and DD are heading off now and he can follow on in the manner of his own choosing.

Just go home
I think it's really shit your Dh is allowing ye to be treated like this.

So, 20 - 15 no shows - 2 absent PILs = just your family = you're free to go home, surely?

DH is point blank refusing to move. BIL and mates decided it was too much hassle (hungover). Other BIL was out drinking last night and has gone AWOL. Last brother is unwell. FIL trying to fill a skip somewhere and MIL is with him. At 12:30pm they were "almost done". We're sat in their fucking freezing house waiting for them because DH is fucking insistent that this is all fine and that I'm being impatient!

If you're driving I'd leave him to make his own way home

I think you need to drive home now. Your DH is being ridiculous.

I think the driver decides when to go home (within reason). your DH is behaving badly. Your DC need to get home for school tomorrow.

I would leave too. That is not acceptable behaviour on their behalf.

What a complete piss take, next time I wouldn't bother meeting up with them at all!

If you are driving, OP, just scoop the kids up and go. If DH thinks this is all fine, he can get himself home.

Leave dh behind.

I see he is being a twat again.

To be fair I think this is quite normal in families as annoying as it is. I can just imagine my dad having a skip to deal with

The kids bedtime trumps in
laws skip

Well this is an odd thread.
Firstly, it was put as the OP was having visitors, then it was a reverse, then the focus became the OP not wanting to go to a big meal (not really about friends being there or not) and then into an issue about the DH, and then it became clear the family were flaky and their not turning up due to being hung over etc, wasnt a surprise.

OP, most of us on here won't know your family history - we can only answer, based on the info you have given. If that constantly changes, then the advice people give will change too.

From all your posts, I conclude that yes,DHs family is difficult to deal with, but I also conclude that your communication isn't clear enough....it wasn't clear with us on this thread and you weren't clear enough with your DH about what you did/didn't want to do and what the key issues were.

If you aren't happy with the situation you find yourself in, say it clearly and say clearly that you are now going home.

So the problem is actually the husband?

Well, who'd a thought it!