to think mixing up your food on a plate is bad manners?

[Moonatic]

This is dh I'm talking about. Made a pastry-topped chicken and leek pie at the weekend. Served with sweetcorn and carrots. Before eating it, he cut his whole serving into small pieces (size of a penny), then mixed it up. I got really annoyed, as dis the kids and asked him not to eat that way, because it was really bad manners. He said it wasn't. Who is right?

To add: this was just one example. If it's mixable, it gets mixed up. Cottage pie, fish pie, lasagne, pasta, curry and rice - it all turns into a big plate of mush.

There is also a sub-question: is it rude to cut your food into small pieces before eating it? By which I mean, cutting everything into small bite size pieces before starting to eat. Again, I say it is, dh says it isn't. (This is what he does with food that is less easily mushed up - e.g. something like chops, new potatoes and vegetables.

Op....don't know if it's bad manners but it certainly isn't good manners.

I'd find it repulsive, it would make me feel sick.

And I'd find it disrespectful if I'd made an effort in the preparation and cooking.

MaidofStars Yes, clearer

Purees are associated with infant food and the very old... So for a healthy mature adult to turn their meal into a puree is a bit like turning up for a meal wearing a nappy. (And why not? If they find it easier not to have to use the toilet, why should anyone else start being all judgmental?)

I agree, Marianne. I hate the mush-habit, it is thankfully rare, didn't actually know why making pulp is so unpleasant, but you explained it perfectly, thank you. It is a little disrespectful to the person who cooked and made it all look lovely and of course presentation is part of culture as well.

It's bad manners. I might occasionally do it when eating at home on my own, because I like the way some flavours mush together. I wouldn't object to anyone else doing it in their own home I don't think, but I don't think people should do it in public, or when a guest at someone's house. Unless they are very young or old and that's the only way they can eat of course.

Well, my boss would not employ him.

I must be more laid back than you lot, I just can't get upset about eating habits

Naw, food etiquette just isn't one of your buttons. There's something you get irrationally outraged about that everyone else wouldn't mind. Everyone has at least one weird thing that drives them up the wall.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest if someone cuts me in line. Watching someone slop their food around puts me off my appetite, and hunger makes me cranky, so people playing with their food irritate the shit out of me.

*Moonatic

Have to say, I'm surprised so many people think I'm unreasonable.

I thought most people grew out of mixing their food up at around the age of 6 - if not before. Oh well.*

Why bother asking 'AIBU' when it's clear you've made up your mind that YANBU? Also, nice little snipe at people who disagree with you in the post I've quoted.

YANBU!

Sounds gross

manners

I read this over the weekend.

Standards are slipping!

Did your kids only ask him to stop doing it when they saw you were getting annoyed? Would they have noticed otherwise? I can kind of see why you take issue with his eating style (although it wouldn't bother me). But if you think he is not going to change, then change your own reaction to it, else meal times may become quite stressful for all concered.

Perhaps the people who are saying that this wouldn't bother them haven't actually experienced someone doing it. Before I had lunch with my cousin, I don't think I would have appreciated how the sight of a grown adult eating an enormous pile of mush (it had been an eat-all-you-can carvery meal) would completely turn my stomach, and the shocked glances from other diners completely mortify me.

I don't like the idea of mixing to a complete mush, that's a bit grim. I do mix on the fork however. That is I will have piece of potato a piece of carrot and bit of main item on my fork and eat them in one mouthful - is that odd?

My grown up DS is the opposite extreme - he mixed no foods on his plate and never has done, so he will eat all his veg, then all his meat then all his potatoes separately, he hates the idea of foods mixed together.

It bothers me too, feels like eating with a baby

I find it so weird that people don't think this is childish and rude.

I am a good cook, who spends an inordinate amount of time thinking up and preparing decent meals for her family. I choose flavours that work together, so I would be annoyed if the whole meal was doused in tobasco or ketchup or something that took away from that. I also think a lot about texture. The whole point of a pie is that the pastry and the filling work together but are different.

Mushing a lovely pie into paste is vandalism and this is 100% a hill to die on.

Zombie thread from 2015 ffs

We're still mad about it.

(No, totally missed that. Sorry).